[b said:
Quote[/b] (Guest @ Nov. 07 2003,11:44)]If the matrix is destroyed we might find that in the 'real' world Southend are still in the first division
I heard of a great prank the other day (relating to this)...
from b3ta.com
I go to Cambridge University. After exams each year, each college puts on a ball called the May Ball, confusingly not in May but anyway.
It's the social highlight of the year. Tickets cost £90 - £160 and for that you get twelve solid hours of free drinks (including unlimited champagne - feel free to throw a bottle at someone's head,) free food, and there's always some reasonably good student bands/stand-ups/soloists performing.
Anyway, because it's the end of the year and everyone's got something to celebrate, most people get very very drunk, especially seeing as it's all 'free' (in a sense) and besides I feel that special occasions make one drink more.
Our story starts with a man named Dave Rhien, he was known as Diamond Dave for some reason, I think because he dad sold cars for a living or somesuch. Anyway, his dad must have sold a lot of cars because his family lived in Cambridge as well, about a mile from our college, and the location of course of the May Ball.
As May proceeds, a terrible plan is forged in the cracks of Mount Droonk. Eventually the conspirators make the sign of the serpent and all is set. Dave goes to the ball, dressed up to a T and generally having a whale of a time. I think it was his second year so he was quite familiar with the format.
All his mates seemed to be trying to get him drunk. I didn't know Dave too well but anyway I remember him constantly having his drink topped up with whatever. His mates also never let him sit down. Sure enough, at 6am the ball is over and Dave is totally totalled. I am relatively sure I saw two of his mates carry him off in the direction of the car park, but it could have been a secondhand memory, I don't know.
His chums have found someone with a car, who drives him home quickly. His parents are in on the plan. They have gone through his bedroom and removed anything which refers to the last four or five years of his life. Then they went through his wardrobes and found his old school uniform. They laid it out on the chair next to his bed, and set the alarm for 7am. They also set the clock's 'real time' forward about six hours to give him a good bit of sleep. Lastly they took his dinner attire off and tucked him into bed.
Eight hours later Dave is wakes up. Maybe a little hung over but that is quickly forgotten. He realises the room, the bed, the alarm clock beeping at 7 are horribly familiar. He sees the school uniform. Confused to the point of insanity, he stumbles out his door. He bumps into his dad, who acts along marvellously. "Oh, I've signed your school report, remember to take it in today."
For thirty mindmelting, realityblowing seconds he awoke from a Matrix-like coma. All of the past five years - the sixth form college, the University, the people, the girls, were all just an incredible dream that must have taken place in only a few hours.
Then his dad cracked at the seams and burst out laughing in his face. Dave realises he's been had. The story has already been circulated around college and Dave enjoys the fruit of the world's focus for his last few days at college.He became known as The Incredible Time Travelling Dave, which is something of a factual error on the nicknamer's behalf, who misunderstood the hoax - it was nothing to do with time travel. (Time compression maybe?) And of course, like all good stories the exaggerations began. In one, his mates get him stoned as well as drunk. I've also heard versions where Dave is called Peter, Daniel etc, and also a version where he comes from a different college. It's flat out hilarious for me, because remember I was there on the day itself. Dave graduated last year, went to the May Ball again, and reportedly wore his old school tie!!!
see for more high jinks
