• Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
    You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.

    Existing Users:.
    Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.

    New Users:
    Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.

    Fans from other clubs
    We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.

    Assistance Required
    For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.

palexander

Life President
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
8,047
Location
Brightlingsea
> >>Subject: The Rules
> >>
> >>We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> >>rules from the
> >>male side. These are our rules:-
> >>
> >>Please note... these are all numbered "1." ON PURPOSE!
> >>
> >>1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to
> >>change that.
> >>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
> >>it down. We
> >>need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you
> >>leaving it
> >>down.
> >>1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
> >>tides. Let
> >>it be.
> >>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> >>that way.
> >>1. Crying is blackmail.
> >>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
> >>do not work!
> >>Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
> >>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >>question.
> >>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
> >>what we do.
> >>Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
> >>fact, all
> >>comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
> >>ways makes you
> >>sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
> >>done. Not both.
> >> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> >>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >>commercials.
> >>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> >>1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
> >>Peach, for
> >>example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
> >>no idea what
> >>mauve is.
> >>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> >>nothing's wrong.
> >> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> >>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> >>you don't
> >>want to hear.
> >>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> >>Really.
> >>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> >>discuss such
> >>topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.
> >>1. You have enough clothes.
> >>1. You have too many shoes.
> >>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> >>
> >>Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> >>tonight, but
> >>did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
> >>
> >>Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!
 

blues_r_best

Entertainment 7wenty
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
8,844
Location
Prittlewell/Rochford
Its funny coz they're true!
biggrin.gif
biggrin.gif
 
Top