Mental Health Mental Health

[Bearded Shrimper]

I commend Martin for starting this thread. Given what he’s going through right now personally and for his first thought to be to check on the mental welfare of others speaks volumes of the man.

Shrimperzone itself can be a depressing place to be sometimes, especially given the horrendous run we’ve been on since things started to go south under Phil Brown. But it has also had a huge impact on my life personally. I can now count 4 of my closest friends I have met after deciding to meet up for a pint with a fellow Shrimper. All 4 including @Bearded Shrimper attended my wedding last year and it really shows the positives that can come from being a lower league football fan.

I think this thread should act as therapy for some to pour out their troubles and reach out for support from whatever is going on in their life. But I honestly think just being a Southend fan over the past 3 years has had a negative impact on my mental health. I’ve gone from being a season ticket holder for the past 2 seasons to dreading Saturdays. Knowing the club I’ve loved for over 20 years is dying is soul destroying.

The ridiculous money being thrown around at Premier League level and a club’s entire history is on a knife edge over a few hundred grand. It’s just awful.

Thanks mate, I'll leave the money in the usual place.

I've been lucky, as me and my wife moved into a new flat a year ago. Being in the old flat would have been awful as it was dark and damp. now we have windows that don't just look at concrete.
And I'm not alone, I'm here with my wife. Not going into the office saved me a packet, as has not going out drinking (I almost never drink at home).
So many others are doing worse.

Tomorrow I have a job interview so hopefully I get that. It's actually with a mental health charity, oddly enough.

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

I really feel for you mate. I was in a similar position work-wise with a pregnant girlfriend (baby due in 3 weeks - eek!), but fortunately I was back to work a few months ago. Through the whole period though, I was convinced I wouldn't be returning to my job. We had to move back in with the in-laws for a while (the landlord wouldn't renew our tenancy) and it was such a struggle trying to rent another flat as half the estate agents we were dealing with were basically saying that, because I was furloughed and she was pregnant, we 'couldn't guarantee rent'. I found that talking on the phone to an old school pal who now lives in Salisbury on an almost daily basis kept my spirits up. I was drinking almost every day for a few months on end, which definitely in hindsight probably made things ten times worse. I'm waffling on a bit now, but the point I suppose I'm trying to make is that things will get better for you and keep your head up. I sincerely hope everything goes well with the baby mate and you find yourself back at work soon.

Thanks mate, that's really kind. I've been back in Thurrock quite a lot looking after my mum, been loving going down to the beach by Stanford.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

Life is undeniably tough at the moment. The economy is teetering, there are health worries, social interaction is being curtailed and a lot of our usual escape mechanisms aren't there for us - with no games to go to and our team being even more miserable than life and social events restricted. It doesn't help that it's October either and it's getting darker either. I hate this time of year at the best of times anyway.

One thing I find that helps me is to try and exercise and get outside when it's light. Just going for a run helps and on non-running days I try and make time during the day to go for a walk. Particularly for those of you in Southend make full use of the sea front!

Thanks mate, I'll leave the money in the usual place.

I've been lucky, as me and my wife moved into a new flat a year ago. Being in the old flat would have been awful as it was dark and damp. now we have windows that don't just look at concrete.
And I'm not alone, I'm here with my wife. Not going into the office saved me a packet, as has not going out drinking (I almost never rarely drink at home).
So many others are doing worse.

Tomorrow I have a job interview so hopefully I get that. It's actually with a mental health charity, oddly enough.

Congrats on the baby on its way and good luck for the interview - although having had the pleasure of reading your posts on here over the years I have every confidence that you'll get it on merit rather than luck.

 

[gazza]

I have suffered with anxiety and OCD since I was a teenager. Over the years I have managed to control it to a degree. When lockdown kicked in it started exacerbating all my old fears and anxieties. This led to night terrors and sleepless nights. Football has always helped me to cope as it gave me some escapism. The latest issues haven’t helped.

Right now I am in better place. I am trying mindfulness to put the bad thoughts into some kind of logical . When I have a good day I use that to try and build my confidence and try and use my good thoughts to fight the bad ones when they appear. I have never written above down before and it feels scary to share but I’m glad I have.

Anyway I just want to say to everyone on here. You are not alone, very few people have been unaffected by all this but we are all still here and we will be tomorrow.

 

[MisterStubbs]

I have suffered with anxiety and OCD since I was a teenager. Over the years I have managed to control it to a degree. When lockdown kicked in it started exacerbating all my old fears and anxieties. This led to night terrors and sleepless nights. Football has always helped me to cope as it gave me some escapism. The latest issues haven’t helped.

Right now I am in better place. I am trying mindfulness to put the bad thoughts into some kind of logical . When I have a good day I use that to try and build my confidence and try and use my good thoughts to fight the bad ones when they appear. I have never written above down before and it feels scary to share but I’m glad I have.

Anyway I just want to say to everyone on here. You are not alone, very few people have been unaffected by all this but we are all still here and we will be tomorrow.

Happy to hear you're in a better place now Gazza. Like I said in my earlier post though, my messages are always open if you or anybody for that matter wants to just waffle on.

 

[Camden Blues]

I have a wellness calendar pinned up in my office. This month is Optimistic October! I particularly like today's thought which is "Ask yourself, will this still matter a year from now?"

 

[Bromley Blue]

Thanks mate, I'll leave the money in the usual place.

I won’t expect much given your financial situation. Maybe a Ron Martin partial payment will suffice.

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

I won’t expect much given your financial situation. Maybe a Ron Martin partial payment will suffice.

when my new stadium comes through I'll pay you properly

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

Life is undeniably tough at the moment. The economy is teetering, there are health worries, social interaction is being curtailed and a lot of our usual escape mechanisms aren't there for us - with no games to go to and our team being even more miserable than life and social events restricted. It doesn't help that it's October either and it's getting darker either. I hate this time of year at the best of times anyway.

One thing I find that helps me is to try and exercise and get outside when it's light. Just going for a run helps and on non-running days I try and make time during the day to go for a walk. Particularly for those of you in Southend make full use of the sea front!




Congrats on the baby on its way and good luck for the interview - although having had the pleasure of reading your posts on here over the years I have every confidence that you'll get it on merit rather than luck.

Thanks mate. I'll be hard up at this rate with all the money I'm putting in brown paper bags.

Totally with you on getting out and exercising. I've been lucky enough to have some woods and a park very near me so been walking and riding my bike all the time it hasn't been raining. I've started volunteering to take a blind woman's guide dog for a walk, bloody great, incredible creatures.

 

[camden shrimper]

Thanks mate, I'll leave the money in the usual place.

I've been lucky, as me and my wife moved into a new flat a year ago. Being in the old flat would have been awful as it was dark and damp. now we have windows that don't just look at concrete.
And I'm not alone, I'm here with my wife. Not going into the office saved me a packet, as has not going out drinking (I almost never drink at home).
So many others are doing worse.

Tomorrow I have a job interview so hopefully I get that. It's actually with a mental health charity, oddly enough.

Good luck with the job interviewer, tell them you support Southend to win the sympathy vote!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Not been on here for a few days as we were up in London for our anniversary.

Seems I've missed quite an important discussion on mental health which is something I bang on about all the time.

It's SO important to recognise when you need help, even if that's just reaching out to a stranger.
The Zone can be a wonderful place to find help, and it helped me get through the horrors surrounding my marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce from when I joined in 2007. I know my mental state then was fragile to say the least, despite many appearances to the contrary, and I've suffered from panic attacks for years, but there are some great people on here, with a wealth of experience and very broad shoulders.

Reach out to someone - don't suffer in silence.

 

[blueblueblue]

Not been on here for a few days as we were up in London for our anniversary.

Seems I've missed quite an important discussion on mental health which is something I bang on about all the time.

It's SO important to recognise when you need help, even if that's just reaching out to a stranger.
The Zone can be a wonderful place to find help, and it helped me get through the horrors surrounding my marriage breakdown and subsequent divorce from when I joined in 2007. I know my mental state then was fragile to say the least, despite many appearances to the contrary, and I've suffered from panic attacks for years, but there are some great people on here, with a wealth of experience and very broad shoulders.

Reach out to someone - don't suffer in silence.

Mental health is a big problem and more so now and I fear will become worse (my prediction) when we enter into another nationwide lockdown in a few weeks.

Has anyone contacted Mind? They're amazing and free. They're part funded by the government and the RBL and have a big office in Southend.

As for those who are struggling financially right now, make sure you look up on line what you're entitled to, you'd be surprised. You've paid into the pot for many years, now it's your time to get back, that's why we pay into it, to help us when we hit hard times.

I hope everyone is feeling a bit more positive today, stay strong and don't give up.

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

Mods, why did this thread get moved? Not having a go, just I put it in the main chit chat bit so it would be prominent and so most people would see it.

 

[blueblueblue]

Mods, why did this thread get moved? Not having a go, just I put it in the main chit chat bit so it would be prominent and so most people would see it.

I agree, this needs it's own dedicated room which should be prominent for everyone to see when they log in. This is a serious issue guys, you need to do your bit. People are taking there own lives everyday, what with another pending lockdown, you owe it to posters to make it visible for everyone to access.

 

[Shrimp and two veg]

Fishing has been my escape from reality. Ive worked in the supply hospitality game for years, currently with fish delivery in London and we are still trying to stay afloat since March after 20yrs of thriving business. I will be driving a taxi soon and that has given me a goal and i'm more positive. Having lost our last two elderly family members in the summer, its hard to move forward having dealt with funerals and houses, wills etc.

But i'm finally coming out of all that now. It takes time. I'm still only working twice a week right now, from 6 days. And having taken over as chairman of Wickford Town carnival back in February, you could say 2020 has definetly been a let down.

I'm one of the most positive people you could meet, but if i feel down i dread to think how hard it is for people who cant handle stuff.

You'll find me down on the River Chelmer most days of the week, catching fish in all weathers, out on the kayak or on the bank. I think everyone needs an escape.
Good luck to all those that are down. Bloomin Southend dont help.

 

[Tinks]

I trained as a mental health nurse many, many moons ago (1980) and trained at the old Runwell Hospital (those of you that remember it).
I have to say hand on heart I loved my time working there and eventually moved on and worked at Rochford Psychiatric Unit when it was apart of the old Rochford hospital.
Throughout my past 40 years working as a nurse (I now work in Primary Care) I have seen significant changes in Mental Health and the delivery of MH services however, it’s only been the last 2-3 years that it has come to the forefront of health care and it still remains the Cinderella service.

People are more open now but, people still feel uncomfortable in discussing it and others when informed often don’t know how to respond.
I do feel sometimes some people use the word “Mental Health” too freely and I often have discussions with people explaining that healthy anxiety is perfectly normal but, there is lots available out there now and most of it sadly if from volunteers etc.

I always say use the people around you for support and any good/true friend will be there for you. Sometimes people don’t want long and meaningful conversations nor do they want to be analysed they just need to talk to someone who will not judge nor make comment.

Remember that it is vital to keep your brain healthy just as much as your body

 

[Supershrimper]

Thanks mate, that's really kind. I've been back in Thurrock quite a lot looking after my mum, been loving going down to the beach by Stanford.

I've lived in Stanford and Corringham my whole life and did not realise there was a beach. Where abouts is it?

 

[Cricko]

I agree, this needs it's own dedicated room which should be prominent for everyone to see when they log in. This is a serious issue guys, you need to do your bit. People are taking there own lives everyday, what with another pending lockdown, you owe it to posters to make it visible for everyone to access.

I am not sure what you mean by "dedicated room" I put it in this froum as to me it is relevant to all that is happening out there at the moment. It is a terrible problem for so many but we can't have it in Chit-chat as it is not SUFC related. We can put it in Homers bar if you would prefer that? Failing that I am open to suggestions.

 

[Dave Smiths Love Child]

I've lived in Stanford and Corringham my whole life and did not realise there was a beach. Where abouts is it?

I think not far from Orsett Hospital, there use to be a sign for the beach as you went over the Orsett round about

 

[Bearded Shrimper]

I've lived in Stanford and Corringham my whole life and did not realise there was a beach. Where abouts is it?

Go along Wharf Road and it's at the river end: https://www.google.com/search?clien...OYAQCgAQGqAQdnd3Mtd2l6yAEIwAEB&sclient=psy-ab

you need to turn right to stay on Wharf Road, DON'T go left into the industrial area coz that isn't as nice