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Slipperduke

The Camden Cad
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
4,333
Location
North London
The clue is in the name. They called it Mono-poly. Mono. One. Not Bi-opoly, not Tri-opoly, and certainly not Commi-opoly where you all work together and the renting revenue gets ******* on the space programme. It’s a game and it’s there to be won, so what’s the point in trying to play nice? Did Donald Trump play nice? No, he made money. Did Ghandi play nice? Yes, and they shot him. Here endeth the lesson.

Every Christmas, the wimps mock us. “Oh, don’t play Monopoly with him, he takes it really seriously. He becomes a different person.”

Of course we become different people. We become winners. When you’re trying to take over a graphical representation of the city of London, you can’t glide through on auto-pilot. Monopoly is hard and it’s never enough just to try and win. In order to prevail, you have to try and make other people lose. This is blindingly obvious, surely? Mono. One. I can’t take you with me.

So why do people always whine at winners? Why do people throw tantrums when you laugh at them for landing on your Orange hotels? You didn’t build them so that they could sit empty and untouched. You built them in order to trap, fleece and ultimately bankrupt your opponents until you alone remain, bloated on victory, sat astride your empire like some kind of glorious God. Rubbing yourself.

Monopoly is a simulation of capitalism. It’s a game for *******s. If you’re not prepared to be a ******* and win, don’t play it. There’s no shame in personal taste. I mean, personally, I don’t like inherently random games that make lots of noise. That’s why you won’t find me playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

But only in Monopoly will you find this institutionalised angst. No-one plays Risk and decides to leave an entire continent in the hands of her indigenous people, lest their troop build-up be seen as some kind of neo-con Scramble for Africa. No-one holds their pawns back on the chessboard so that the two Kings can fight it out and spare the bloodshed of the proletariat. Sure, it might only be a game, but that’s no reason to play it like a hippie.

I’ve seen people let their friends off paying the rent because they did the washing-up. My wife once gave a property away just to cheer her sister up. She gave it away. For free. It wasn’t even a tax write-off. Do you know what that is? That’s cheating. That’s screwing with the structure of a game that was here long before you were and will still be played long after you’ve died and your Socialist ashes have been buried in a recycled Co-operative jam-jar in a dirty paupers grave. On the Isle of Man.
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,481
I downloaded Monopoly for my shiney new iPhone only yesterday. Best £3 I've spent in a while.
 

MrB

Life President
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
17,501
Location
Desk
Monopoly is about burying your opponents whatever it takes. I remember when Barry Harris was thrashed when we were playing on a half empty flight to Canada. With the old 'once round the board before you can buy a property' rule in place he proceeded to hit Go To Jail on his first three goes round. Sympathy? No, screw him over and destroy him asap.
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,481
When I spent a month in the US last summer, we bought the US version of Monopoly as it was a great way to spend the evening by the Pool with a cold beer... The box had a load of interesting facts about the game that you wouldn't have thought of.

Apprently, the number of Houses/Hotels in the box is geared perfectly with the amount of starting money and it took years of painstaking testing to get this right. Imagine my dismay when I came back from the toilet and my brother had paid money to place a green skittle on a property as a house as there weren't any left. The cheating *******, ******** all over someones pride and joy.
 

South Bank Hank

👍⭐
Joined
Nov 4, 2003
Messages
14,782
Location
Rayleigh
To be fair though, as important as it is to win, it's secondary to the primary victory of BEING THE CAR!

monopoly-car.jpg
 

BILLERICAY BLUE

RoseTinted Brigade Member⭐
Joined
Oct 28, 2003
Messages
11,998
Location
Have a guess....
Slipperduke said:
The clue is in the name. They called it Mono-poly. Mono. One. Not Bi-opoly, not Tri-opoly, and certainly not Commi-opoly where you all work together and the renting revenue gets ******* on the space programme. It’s a game and it’s there to be won, so what’s the point in trying to play nice? Did Donald Trump play nice? No, he made money. Did Ghandi play nice? Yes, and they shot him. Here endeth the lesson.

Every Christmas, the wimps mock us. “Oh, don’t play Monopoly with him, he takes it really seriously. He becomes a different person.”

Of course we become different people. We become winners. When you’re trying to take over a graphical representation of the city of London, you can’t glide through on auto-pilot. Monopoly is hard and it’s never enough just to try and win. In order to prevail, you have to try and make other people lose. This is blindingly obvious, surely? Mono. One. I can’t take you with me.

So why do people always whine at winners? Why do people throw tantrums when you laugh at them for landing on your Orange hotels? You didn’t build them so that they could sit empty and untouched. You built them in order to trap, fleece and ultimately bankrupt your opponents until you alone remain, bloated on victory, sat astride your empire like some kind of glorious God. Rubbing yourself.

Monopoly is a simulation of capitalism. It’s a game for *******s. If you’re not prepared to be a ******* and win, don’t play it. There’s no shame in personal taste. I mean, personally, I don’t like inherently random games that make lots of noise. That’s why you won’t find me playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

But only in Monopoly will you find this institutionalised angst. No-one plays Risk and decides to leave an entire continent in the hands of her indigenous people, lest their troop build-up be seen as some kind of neo-con Scramble for Africa. No-one holds their pawns back on the chessboard so that the two Kings can fight it out and spare the bloodshed of the proletariat. Sure, it might only be a game, but that’s no reason to play it like a hippie.

I’ve seen people let their friends off paying the rent because they did the washing-up. My wife once gave a property away just to cheer her sister up. She gave it away. For free. It wasn’t even a tax write-off. Do you know what that is? That’s cheating. That’s screwing with the structure of a game that was here long before you were and will still be played long after you’ve died and your Socialist ashes have been buried in a recycled Co-operative jam-jar in a dirty paupers grave. On the Isle of Man.
I'm so glad I didn't read this at lunch-time, otherwise I would need a new keyboard now.

I downloaded Monopoly for my shiney new iPhone only yesterday. Best £3 I've spent in a while.
I've had it on my Nokia for ages now. Whiles away a train journey after I've done the Telegraph Sudoku
 

BILLERICAY BLUE

RoseTinted Brigade Member⭐
Joined
Oct 28, 2003
Messages
11,998
Location
Have a guess....
Slipperduke said:
The clue is in the name. They called it Mono-poly. Mono. One. Not Bi-opoly, not Tri-opoly, and certainly not Commi-opoly where you all work together and the renting revenue gets ******* on the space programme. It’s a game and it’s there to be won, so what’s the point in trying to play nice? Did Donald Trump play nice? No, he made money. Did Ghandi play nice? Yes, and they shot him. Here endeth the lesson.

Every Christmas, the wimps mock us. “Oh, don’t play Monopoly with him, he takes it really seriously. He becomes a different person.”

Of course we become different people. We become winners. When you’re trying to take over a graphical representation of the city of London, you can’t glide through on auto-pilot. Monopoly is hard and it’s never enough just to try and win. In order to prevail, you have to try and make other people lose. This is blindingly obvious, surely? Mono. One. I can’t take you with me.

So why do people always whine at winners? Why do people throw tantrums when you laugh at them for landing on your Orange hotels? You didn’t build them so that they could sit empty and untouched. You built them in order to trap, fleece and ultimately bankrupt your opponents until you alone remain, bloated on victory, sat astride your empire like some kind of glorious God. Rubbing yourself.

Monopoly is a simulation of capitalism. It’s a game for *******s. If you’re not prepared to be a ******* and win, don’t play it. There’s no shame in personal taste. I mean, personally, I don’t like inherently random games that make lots of noise. That’s why you won’t find me playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

But only in Monopoly will you find this institutionalised angst. No-one plays Risk and decides to leave an entire continent in the hands of her indigenous people, lest their troop build-up be seen as some kind of neo-con Scramble for Africa. No-one holds their pawns back on the chessboard so that the two Kings can fight it out and spare the bloodshed of the proletariat. Sure, it might only be a game, but that’s no reason to play it like a hippie.

I’ve seen people let their friends off paying the rent because they did the washing-up. My wife once gave a property away just to cheer her sister up. She gave it away. For free. It wasn’t even a tax write-off. Do you know what that is? That’s cheating. That’s screwing with the structure of a game that was here long before you were and will still be played long after you’ve died and your Socialist ashes have been buried in a recycled Co-operative jam-jar in a dirty paupers grave. On the Isle of Man.
I take it you lost last night then Slip....

I always play Monoploy with Mrs BB's god-daughter, and have done for the past 8 years, since she was old enough to play it properly. Every time we play Mrs BB says "are you going to let her win". Same response every time "Nope. If she wants to win, she'll have to do it properly"
 

Usual_Suspect

Members
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
2,116
Location
Southend/Canary Wharf
Aren't the hotels red? anyhow, cracking game, also like the new version with the credit cards - very smart.

I had a massive barny with the Mrs once over a game - she had pots of cash, good houses etc - whereas I was struggling only a few properties to my name. Come 2am she wanted to stop as she was tired 'ok I win then'. 'Er why do you win? I've got the most money/house etc, you have nothing' - 'yes but YOU want to stop/give in. That makes me the winner'.

This went on for ages until I think the board was thrown (at me I think). I still stand by the point that I was the winner as she wanted to stop.

No mercy in the world of Monopoly.
 
Last edited:

Davros

The Whippet
Joined
Dec 5, 2003
Messages
8,387
If Monopoly is meant to be about real life, and all that, in future, when it says 'Go to Jail, do not collect £200, do not pass go etc', would it be ok for me to insist on a fair trial, skip bail, nick £500 from the bank, and head across the boarder to Mexico?

When i do eventually get caught, i will get a job in Monopoly jail as a cleaner, earn 10 monopoly pounds a day until i serve my sentence, or more importantly, roll a double!

btw Mark, houses green, hotels red.
 
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