My dilema - I have got problems in the bedroom !!!!

[DTS]

Right ladies and gentleman - I need your advice as I have a slight problem in the bedroom department and I call upon the more experienced heads on this board to help me sort it.

Basically Mrs DtS and I spend most nights together. Now all is going to plan and got to say I really think I have caught a good one. There is however a major problem in the bedroom department.

At night after the obligatory kiss and cuddle that all men are forced to have with the Mrs when all we really want to do is sleep I like to roll over on my right hand side and fall asleep. Mrs DtS has traditionally rolled over on her left hand side -Until of late.

Recently Mrs DtS has decided in her wisdom that she wants to cuddle up on my side of the bed, falling a sleep with her arms drapped over me and using half my pillow to fall asleep. This in effect means we are both facing the same way to sleep.

Now the Mrs can fall asleep like all women in about ten seconds flat. I however am a massive fan of my own space and I really dont want to be cuddle whilst I try to fall asleep. Its takes me ages to sleep like that and I also find it hot and stifling.

It was so bad this morning that I had to get out my side of the bed, walk round the bed and then get in Mrs DtS side which was of course totally unoccupied.

Mrs DtS is a keen horse rider and has some electric fencing in the garage to help keep her horse in his field. I have come up with a plan to rig this up down the middle of the bed. If she invades my side of the bed after hours she would in theory get a small electric shock which seems fair to me.

So my question is - Is it fair for me to electricute Mrs Dts a little so she keeps to her own side or should I just allow her invasion of my side of the marital bed as this is what women do?

Your comments are welcomed on this thorny issue.

DtS

 

[leeblue]

Fence her off DTS, your side of the bed is your side, I too like space to sleep in luckily the wife is of the same opinion.

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

Say how it's annoying, but why not say you'll do something like give her a post-coital back rub then she'll be over her side of the bed (if she's still too close ask her nicely to shift so you can perfect your back-rubbing technique). Totally worked for me, so much so that I can now nod off without fear of overheating, although my latest problem is the Mrs moaning that I've kicked off the duvet and she's either too hot (if it's folded over on top of her) or too cold (if I've pushed it off the bed)!

Oh & Dave, good work on attracting a horse-rider, it has it's benefits in the bedroom dept so I hear :p

 

[SUFC_Al]

Hogging bed space is a nightmare, me and the missus used to share a single bed! Since we've had a double though we're both in agreement that we need your space in the bed. If she does role over on to my side I simply push her back and vce versa.

I think a little word in her ear Dave explaining that you like to have space in bed and hopefully she'll understand!

 

[Cricko]

Fence her off DTS and to go with the Electric fence add a couple of these Midway through the bed that should sort it.

:)

 

[C C Csiders]

To quote Basil Brush "all that kissing and cuddling makes me fell sick. Urrrggghhhhh!" Let her feel what Gary Gilmour felt, if she doesn't know what's best for her.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Hmm, I'm agreeing with you again Dave.... space to sleep is king! You've had your sausage portion love, now feck off to yer own side and let me recover.

Now for a bit of morning delight, a bit of spooning is ok.......

 

[Napster]

.....poor joke

 

[Benji91]

For years now the missus thinks i kick a lot in my sleep. Its actually a cunning ploy to boot her across to her side of the bed - just tell her youve been dreaming of playing footy and apologise on the odd occasion you boot her completely out the bed.

 

[MK Shrimper]

My mate suffers from sleep aponea - he "lives" out his dreams - and some of them are particually violent.

He's had his missus by the throat, up against the wall....

 

[The General]

For years now the missus thinks i kick a lot in my sleep. Its actually a cunning ploy to boot her across to her side of the bed - just tell her youve been dreaming of playing footy and apologise on the odd occasion you boot her completely out the bed.

Dave?! Running?! Psssssh.

 

[number11]

Im a really fussy sleeper and this trait of women to want to 'snuggle' can indeed be annoying and impinge on sleep.

I find the best way is to cuddle up to them on their side of bed, so that when they inevitably go to sleep within seconds you can then roll over and have about 2/3rds of the bed to yourself...

 

[Desert Shrimper]

Get a kingsize bed mate. It's like having two beds....you can "tactically" cuddle in the middle before rolling off to your own expanse when she's fallen asleep.....

 

[DTS]

Get a kingsize bed mate. It's like having two beds....you can "tactically" cuddle in the middle before rolling off to your own expanse when she's fallen asleep.....

We do have a kingsized mate....And still I am short of room....

 

[Rbs_shrimp]

you can "tactically" cuddle in the middle before rolling off to your own expanse when she's fallen asleep.....

Agree, This is a good tactic.

Had this problem with space, its gotta be a bloke thing. My missus always wants to cuddle and Id rather have my own space. Anyway, a few minutes spooning then onces shes asleep roll away.

I refer you to the friends episode where Chandler has this problem and consultes Ross for guidence, the "hug and roll technique". If anyone has seen it, the biggest problem is getting your other arm back. However good luck, it is a tricky situation.

 

[Rayleigh Weir]

Everyone has an item of food or drink that without fail gives them wind - might I suggest discovering yours...

 

[Desert Shrimper]

We do have a kingsized mate....And still I am short of room....

That's poor bed management mate, she's obviously got you under the thumb :thump: . I think it's time to grow a pair and force her back to her side of the bed by any means necessary. Short-range missiles are an option if the electric fence threat doesn't work.

 

[SUBBlue]

My mate suffers from sleep aponea - he "lives" out his dreams - and some of them are particually violent.

He's had his missus by the throat, up against the wall....

Bloo.dy hell ,his missus must cack herself everytime the sun goes down.

On a lighter note, I wonder if he'd have my mother-in-law round for the night......;)

 

[MK Shrimper]

Bloo.dy hell ,his missus must cack herself everytime the sun goes down.

Hmm, he's a black belt in Aikido and Shotokan Karate as well - fortunately, so is she :D

 

[Firestorm]

I am with the farting on her leg whilst she snuggled up to you idea, make it a nasty wet one and she will keep to her own side of the bed, Alernatively make sure the wet patch is right in the middle of the bed thus pinning her over her own side