Oggling

[Lucas D]

As the main board is all about Man U, thought I would venture into the Pub for some random chat.....

From my typical Friday in the office, I came across this story:
Men Oggling Women

I found this most amusing yet true!

One thing I have found is that my current and previous girlfriends have always hated that fact that i look at other women......do any of you chaps find the same?

The train is the hardest part, especially on the C2C line. There is always eye candy on the train and lets face it, apart from reading and sleeping, what else is a man to do for his commute?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but its perfectly naturally to window shop and I personally dont feel there is anything wrong with it.

 

[DTS]

Mrs DtS doesn't mind it which is cool but past birds have been a total nightmare with it.

I would highly recommend it. I find there is no better way to spend the day then to perve on a nice set of charlies. Why not - If birds dont like it dont flash your clevage.

 

[Firestorm]

Mrs FS has no problems with a "look but don't touch" rule.

That was until the afternoon of the massive erection and audible salivating in La Senza......

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Of course oggling is acceptable, as long as you don't get caught by your mrs.

My favourite oggling story is from a mate who lived out in Japan for a bit. He use to play the "zap" game when out with his mates. Basically the aim of the zap game was to spot talent from as far as way as possible. You then had to secure them by zapping them with an imaginary gun and saying "zap" before your mates. But the rule was that if you zapped someone you had to bang them (not literally) regardless of their looks. Obviously this can be a bit risky zapping someone from a distance as, how can we put this, distance can be flattering to some females. What might appear to be a rather nice arse going up an escalator might be attached to something with a face similar to Jade Goody's. Anyhow I'm sure most of us will have played similar games at one time or another and you get the picture.

So Gav tells the story of how he and a mate were at the train station in Toyko when what he describes as "2 hotties, who were clearly twins, although maybe a little bit on the young side" were spotted on the opposite platform through a train window. Gav and his mate immediately got their imaginery zappers out and started zapping like mad at these two pieces of jail bait, only for the train to pull away leaving them shooting away like crazy and shouting "zap zap" at these two 14 year old girls and for them to notice that the girls were stood there on the platform with their father. In Gav's words the father "had clearly played the zapping game in his younger days" and was not looking very impressed at the antics of Gav and his mate

 

[Shrimper2thecore]

Mrs Shrimper2thecore would kill me for doing anything of such behaviour.

Thankfully, being with Mrs Shrimper2thecore means I have no need to oggle!!

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

The new sort-of Mrs. Stokes has started impressively by actively pointing out attractive women that I might like to oggle, and following up with lines like "I would" and "reckon she'd fancy a threesome?". She might be a keeper, this one...

 

[Hong Kong Blue]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:44)]The new sort-of Mrs. Stokes has started impressively by actively pointing out attractive women that I might like to oggle, and following up with lines like "I would" and "reckon she'd fancy a threesome?". She might be a keeper, this one...

JS, don't fall into that trap. Its just a loyalty test. The correct answer is that you have only eyes for her, but if it would make her happy you would consider it.

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Oct. 27 2006,13:49)]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:44)]The new sort-of Mrs. Stokes has started impressively by actively pointing out attractive women that I might like to oggle, and following up with lines like "I would" and "reckon she'd fancy a threesome?". She might be a keeper, this one...

JS, don't fall into that trap. Its just a loyalty test. The correct answer is that you have only eyes for her, but if it would make her happy you would consider it.

Oh God. So: "Nah, if we're going to have one, let's include your best mate instead. I promise not to do her up the sh!tter" wasn't the right response?!? I have much to learn...

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:52)]"...do her up the sh!tter" wasn't the right response?!?

Indeed not. "Up the gary" or "Up the rusty sheriff's badge" would have been so much classier.

Mrs MtS seems to allow me to appreciate women in an aesthetic way, if not a overtly sexual way. So "I like her cheekbones / hair / jacket / shoes" is fine, whilst "I like her thrups / arse / pins" is not.

You'd be amazed at how many lovely jackets there are out there...

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Oct. 27 2006,13:49)]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:44)]The new sort-of Mrs. Stokes has started impressively by actively pointing out attractive women that I might like to oggle, and following up with lines like "I would" and "reckon she'd fancy a threesome?". She might be a keeper, this one...

JS, don't fall into that trap. Its just a loyalty test. The correct answer is that you have only eyes for her, but if it would make her happy you would consider it.

If the question she asks is, "Would you?", the answer is always, "NO!"

Simple rule.

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (Matt the Shrimp @ Oct. 27 2006,14:40)]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:52)]"...do her up the sh!tter" wasn't the right response?!?

Indeed not.  "Up the gary" or "Up the rusty sheriff's badge" would have been so much classier.

Mrs MtS seems to allow me to appreciate women in an aesthetic way, if not a overtly sexual way. So "I like her cheekbones / hair / jacket / shoes" is fine, whilst "I like her thrups / arse / pins" is not.

You'd be amazed at how many lovely jackets there are out there...

I like to take a similar angle!

Try any of these:

"Bloody hell, how does she walk?"

"She's got a balance problem, that girl."

"Christ, I can't believe she looked in the mirror this morning and thought that looked good."

"Is she smuggling tictacs? Blimey, I'd wear a coat if I were you."


And the time honoured classic when you've been rumbled staring at a girl walking towards you in town....

Girl: (aghast) What are you looking at?

Boy: (squints into distance) Is that a new H&M down there?

Girl: (distracted) What? Where? I need a new top. Do you mind if....etc etc etc

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Quote[/b] (Slipperduke @ Oct. 27 2006,15:05)]

Quote[/b] (Hong Kong Blue @ Oct. 27 2006,13:49)]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,13:44)]The new sort-of Mrs. Stokes has started impressively by actively pointing out attractive women that I might like to oggle, and following up with lines like "I would" and "reckon she'd fancy a threesome?". She might be a keeper, this one...

JS, don't fall into that trap. Its just a loyalty test. The correct answer is that you have only eyes for her, but if it would make her happy you would consider it.

If the question she asks is, "Would you?", the answer is always, "NO!"

Simple rule.

Hmmm. So it's better to be a lying scumbag than have eyes for any other woman? Glad I'm learning this before I leave school - I'd probably end up getting strung out to dry by women in the real world...

 

[Desert Shrimper]

I'm with Slipperduke here, you need to use a bit of experience - play more like Spencer Prior than JCR and use your years of experience. A wise man doesn't get clocked past 25......

In days of old when rumbled I used the "errm yeah, I thought I knew her" excuse so many times with one particular girlfriend that she used to ask "oooooh did you know that one too??" <with added look of disgust> fairly frequently and basically considered me to be a letch of the highest order.

I'm now more sophisticated in my approach and prefer the "she must be cold/that's a very good look" route for the scantily clad slapper that you can't resist a second perv at. To be totally honest if they want us to go ******* shopping with them then they can take the rough with the smooth.

Are we all really this shallow.....:O I thought it was just me!

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

I fail to see what's shallow about liking tits, er, I mean women.

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,15:24)]Hmmm. So it's better to be a lying scumbag than have eyes for any other woman?

By God, he's cracked it!

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Quote[/b] (Slipperduke @ Oct. 27 2006,15:39)]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Oct. 27 2006,15:24)]Hmmm. So it's better to be a lying scumbag than have eyes for any other woman?

By God, he's cracked it!

"No dear, I didn't say "aaahrhghlllthhhhmmmmm" and dribble slightly from the corners of my mouth when I spotted Keeley Hazell on the other side of the road. I was merely manifesting my base desire for you via the medium of animalistic sighing. May I still claim mammorial privileges this evening?"

 

[Firestorm]

Be carefuly with the Clothing observations though, you don't want to make her sound ignorant about these matters especially in public or you may get a slap.
I did and all I said was
"My, that is a very interesting concept in gusset weave"

 

[shrimpcatcher]

it doesnt bother me if my boyfriend oggles at another girl, as long as it is only looking then i dont see what the fuss is about! though if he expects to be able to get away with it he should expect me to do the same thing with any fit guys about....which is all too rare unfortunately.

 

[Slipperduke]

Quote[/b] (Firestorm @ Oct. 27 2006,15:57)]Be carefuly with the Clothing observations though, you don't want to make her sound ignorant about these matters especially in public or you may get a slap.
I did and all I said was
"My, that is a very interesting concept in gusset weave"

 

[South Bank Hank]

Personally, I'm a firm fan of the gentlemen's rule which I've perfected with Mrs Hank - the gentlemen's rule which involves just a minor step back with an 'after you sweetheart'...

Double value. A leisurely letch and gentlemen's points to boot...