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Vange Shrimper

Mrs Rock God
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
14,069
Location
Westcliff-on-Sea
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub
for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything
foreign.Oh and......

Only in Britain ... can a pizza get to your house faster than
an ambulance.

Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large
fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain ... do banks leave both doors open and chain
the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain ... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds
on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain ... do we use answering machines to screen
calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... are there disabled parking places in front
of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION..

- 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their
tongue.
- 142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from
new shirts
- 58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
- 31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree
while the fairy lights were plugged in.
- 19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that
Christmas decorations were chocolate.
- British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after
cracker pulling accidents.
- 101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys
pulled out of the soles of their feet.
- 18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with
a lit cigarette in their mouth.
- A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
- 5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of
control Scalextric cars. and finally.........
- In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up
into the toilet.

Proud to be British?!!
 

Mr. Benedict

The Devious Badger
Joined
Jun 24, 2006
Messages
14,579
Location
Seventeen Kings
Yup. Craziest country in the world and we're proud of it!
biggrin.gif
 

hexagon_sun

Manager
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
1,909
Only in Britain did The Beatles, Mike Leigh, Black Sabbath, Boards of Canada, David Bowie, Richard D. James, Joy Division, The Kinks, Basil Kirchin, Led Zeppelin, Morrissey & Marr, Warp, Andrew Weatheral, the Carry On films, Norman Foster, Hammer Films, Alfred Hitchcock, David Hockney, the League of Gentelmen, Monty Python, Joe Orton, George Orwell, Dennis Potter, Bruce Robinson, Richard Rogers and Oscar Wilde happen - damn right I'm proud.
 

Napster

The Horse with no Name⭐
Joined
Oct 27, 2003
Messages
36,064
Location
The wilds of Kent
[b said:
Quote[/b] (hexagon_sun @ July 13 2006,12:42)]Only in Britain did The Beatles, Mike Leigh, Black Sabbath, Boards of Canada, David Bowie, Richard D. James, Joy Division, The Kinks, Basil Kirchin, Led Zeppelin, Morrissey & Marr, Warp, Andrew Weatheral, the Carry On films,  Norman Foster, Hammer Films, Alfred Hitchcock, David Hockney, the League of Gentelmen, Monty Python, Joe Orton, George Orwell, Dennis Potter, Bruce Robinson, Richard Rogers and Oscar Wilde happen - damn right I'm proud.
you missed the Rolling Stones and the Proclaimers, as well as Robbie Burns, Shakespeare, Elliott, Tennyson, R.L Stevenson, Arthur Conan Doyle, Ian Rankin, Iain Banks, Irvine Welsh, Graham Greene, Ian Fleming...

All quintessentially British!
 

TrueBlue

Save Our Southend
Joined
Oct 26, 2003
Messages
22,717
Location
Hockley now on loan to Rayleigh
[b said:
Quote[/b] (hexagon_sun @ July 13 2006,12:42)]Only in Britain did The Beatles, Mike Leigh, Black Sabbath, Boards of Canada, David Bowie, Richard D. James, Joy Division, The Kinks, Basil Kirchin, Led Zeppelin, Morrissey & Marr, Warp, Andrew Weatheral, the Carry On films,  Norman Foster, Hammer Films, Alfred Hitchcock, David Hockney, the League of Gentelmen, Monty Python, Joe Orton, George Orwell, Dennis Potter, Bruce Robinson, Richard Rogers and Oscar Wilde happen - damn right I'm proud.
AHEM!

Depeche Mode
alien.gif
 

hexagon_sun

Manager
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
1,909
[b said:
Quote[/b] (TrueBlue @ July 13 2006,15:01)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (hexagon_sun @ July 13 2006,12:42)]Only in Britain did The Beatles, Mike Leigh, Black Sabbath, Boards of Canada, David Bowie, Richard D. James, Joy Division, The Kinks, Basil Kirchin, Led Zeppelin, Morrissey & Marr, Warp, Andrew Weatheral, the Carry On films, Norman Foster, Hammer Films, Alfred Hitchcock, David Hockney, the League of Gentelmen, Monty Python, Joe Orton, George Orwell, Dennis Potter, Bruce Robinson, Richard Rogers and Oscar Wilde happen - damn right I'm proud.
AHEM!

Depeche Mode
alien.gif
What about 'em? They wouldn't exist without the influence of GERMANS!!
laugh.gif
 

shrimper4life

Manager
Joined
May 5, 2005
Messages
1,477
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Vange Shrimper @ July 13 2006,11:12)]Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Actually in Asda in shoebury, the pharmacy is right at the front
tounge.gif
 

Xàbia Shrimper

Co-founder of ShrimperZone
Joined
Oct 24, 2003
Messages
13,804
Location
Xàbia, España
[b said:
Quote[/b] (shrimper4life @ July 14 2006,00:02)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Vange Shrimper @ July 13 2006,11:12)]Only in Britain ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all
the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Actually in Asda in shoebury, the pharmacy is right at the front  
tounge.gif
Yeah, I thought that one was b******s as well - and the whole thing has been copied from "Only in America" anyway ...
 

Sandbach Shrimper

Life President⭐
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
6,056
Location
East Cheshire
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Sao Paulo Shrimper @ July 13 2006,21:59)]Only Fools and Horses.
Porridge.
Faulty Towers.
Phoenix nights.
The Office.

You will never beat Britsh comedy.  
biggrin.gif
Totally agree, that's the best thing about Britain. Best sense of humour in the world. You've mentioned 5 out of a very long list there.
 

Ulysses

Manager
Joined
Sep 21, 2005
Messages
1,540
Yorkshire Puddings and Zippy from Rainbow!

The list is endless!
tounge.gif
 
Joined
Aug 10, 2004
Messages
999
Location
Perth, Western Australia
When i lived in the U.K i thought the TV was sh!t, i hated it, thought it was all repeats and moaned along with everyone else....
until i moved away.

You do indeed have some of the best TV in the world, there is nothing better than it anywhere in the world and i love all the U.K stuff that gets exported here.

The Office,
Alan Partridge
Nighty Night
The League of Gentlemen

Great stuff, and you should appreciate it.
 

Mad Cyril

Proud sponsor of Mark Molesley's white trainers⭐
Joined
Oct 29, 2003
Messages
19,371
Location
Flavour country
[b said:
Quote[/b] (perth shrimper @ July 18 2006,01:27)]When i lived in the U.K i thought the TV was sh!t, i hated it, thought it was all repeats and moaned along with everyone else....
until i moved away.

You do indeed have some of the best TV in the world, there is nothing better than it anywhere in the world and i love all the U.K stuff that gets exported here.

The Office,
Alan Partridge
Nighty Night
The League of Gentlemen

Great stuff, and you should appreciate it.

I'm a big fan of Kath and Kim!

I think a lot of people forget that for every 'The Office' and 'The league of gentlemen' there are at least ten 'Babes in the wood', 'Two pints of lager...' or similar rubbish.

It's not all good and some imports are better than 99% of British comedy.
 
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