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OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
49,054
Location
Benfleet
Revelling In It

This week starring:

Steve ‘It’s relaxed muscle’ Parmenter
Franck ‘The Stig’ Moussa
Steve ‘'Yabbadabbado' Mildenhall
Lee ‘Peter Pan’ Sawyer


Normal service was resumed last Friday as Kit Man Steve Parmenter returned to the Club. Franno and I were travelling down the A127 when we slipped into the Basildon McDonalds to pick the missus up a McFlurry (who said romance was dead when you get married!) and as we entered we saw a rotund gentleman telling everyone that he was the biggest footballing sensation to come from Essex since Ray Parlour.

After luring him into the back of Franno’s car by creating a trail of chicken nuggets, we locked Steve up and brought him back to Boots and Laces. Then after four hours worth of negotiations with agent Pini Zahavi (who Steve insisted was his agent although Pini seemed a little bit put on the spot by the claim) Steve signed an improved four year deal with the following clauses:

· Four hot dogs per game
· Alf Bilby has to carry all kit skips
· Steve gets to play in ‘cuppy doubles’ every Thursday at training
· Dougie Freedman must still clean his boots

After the signing process Steve was booked into a mammoth liposuction section, and turned up to work on Saturday looking the same as before he left.

On the game itself I thought we were very unlucky on Saturday not to get all three points against Huddersfield, especially after we held a two-nil lead. Unfortunately though we had a tired five minutes half way through the second half and were duly punished for it, but I think that anyone who watched the game will agree that we were more than a match for a team many predict will challenge for the title this season.

It’s always nice to play against familiar faces, and it was good to see both Peter Clarke and Theo Robinson on Saturday. It’s also quite a strange situation in that they know your strengths and weaknesses, and vice versa which can create a type of footballing sparring match when you take to the field.

But I thought we looked strong and solid throughout and if we can play like that week-in-week-out we’ll win far more games than anything else.

The same can be said for the Cheltenham game last night, where despite leaving it late we were by far the stronger team although both sides had some decent chances.

The only other thing of note we’ve done as a team lately was a day out go-karting where a few peoples driving skills left a lot to be desired.

Whilst the size of the karts aren’t ideal for a person my size, I didn’t struggle as much as Steve Mildenhall who was that uncomfortable in his that they brought him out another cart, one I swear used to belong to Fred Flintstone!! Needless to say that a 6ft 4 man literally bounding around a karting track can be quite off putting – a bit like the marshmallow man scene out of Ghostbusters!!!

But Steve wasn’t the worst racer there as Franck Moussa acted as if he hadn’t driven in his life before. All I can say is that the Green Cross Code must be different in Belgium as I’ve never seen a man so careful at the wheel – his hands literally didn’t move from the ten to two position!

Franck put his miserable performance down to the fact he had no indicators and rear view mirrors, and he had a fair point as he did more reversing out of tyres than anyone else, although I did think using hand signals to turn into the pit lane was a little bit unnecessary.

The worst moment for Franck was when he got lapped by the race stewards which was made more embarrassing by the fact that he wasn’t even in the car, and was simply walking round the track with his flag!

One person who didn’t cover himself in glory was ASBO Sawyer, who gave us a glimpse of what he got up to in his youth. As he took a standing position on the bridge overlooking the finishing straight he was waving at the drivers and doing that hand motion to beep their horn. Harmless enough you might think until the driver would got to do it, and Lee would unless a tirade of egg hurling before running off with his mates to go and do some knock and running, closely followed by Adam Barrett chasing them with a walking stick (Adam couldn’t take part in the karting as surprise surprise he’s banned from there too!)

This week’s Dish comes courtesy of the Longleat franchise:

‘Venison Wraps’ – fill the venison with cream cheese and jalapeno peppers, wrap in bacon and grill.

Take care and I’ll see you all soon.

Up the Blues!

Revs
 

chapperzUK

Guest
What a legend! If only his football skills were as good as his blogs.
 

TBV_Dan

Supporting The Blue Voice
Joined
Jan 18, 2008
Messages
2,224
Location
Southend
If Carlsberg did blogs, they wouldnt come anywhere near as good as these! :D

Quality Revs!
 
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