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Slipperduke

The Camden Cad
Joined
Aug 24, 2004
Messages
4,333
Location
North London
Luiz Felipe Scolari may not be delivering the goods on the pitch, but off it he remains as dramatic as ever. In a chaotic post-match press conference, he demanded an apology from referee Mike Dean for Arsenal's opening goal and appeared to hint at a conspiracy against his team.

A consummate showman, Scolari entered the room at his own pace, stopping to shake hands with a guest of the club, a British soldier who had lost his legs in Afghanistan. The Brazilian boss gave him a profound look, as if to suggest that he also knew there were many more important things than football to worry about in life. Then he sat down, politely listened to the first question and ignored it completely.

"All the people here," he said gesturing at the room, "know that all season, in fifteen Premier League games, I’ve never said anything against the referee. But today it’s different." He paused for effect. "I don’t want the referee to make something different, but only for him to look in the television and see it was wrong and say sorry."

So far, so fair. After all, replays showed that Robin van Persie was offside for the opening goal and he's only asking for an apology. Anyway, he's not accusing the referee of being biased, is he? Oh, hang on...

“If it’s possible to understand," he continued, "if we win we’d have been 13 points ahead of them and the title would have been finished for them. OK? In the same play in the first half he gave Kalou offside. And the same area, but one metre in front — more than one metre in front, Van Persie’s not offside. What do you think I need to think?"

The press pack were only too happy to answer that question and they swiftly moved in for the kill. They began to arrange their questions in a more sinister manner and when one asked if he was saying that there was a conspiracy against the team, an older journalist lost his temper.

"That's not what he's saying at all!" he exclaimed from the melee. Scolari's inquisitor whirled around, eyes burning with rage at the prospect of being kept from his prey.

"I wasn't asking you." he snarled.

In the time it took to restore a little order to proceedings, Scolari finally seemed to comprehend how his words were being interpreted. Another journalist, quite sensibly, asked him for clarification over his statements. Were the mistakes honest or intentional? In doing so, that journalist almost certainly saved him from a barrage of backpage headlines and an FA hearing.

"Two honest mistakes?" he mused. "Yes, I think so. Not deliberate. I don't think they came here deliberately to make mistakes to us."

It is unlikely that Scolari genuinely believes in a conspiracy and it would be unwise to take that as the conclusion of this strange episode. It is important to remember that he has only been speaking English since the summer. However, his lack of linguistic proficiency does not hide the fact that Chelsea are rattled. Two defeats at the fortress of Stamford Bridge have shaken the confidence of the entire club. You don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to see that.
 
Slip - you could have got a mention in for us in that!

Yeah I was thinking that!

"And to compound Scholaris woes, earlier that day they drew the giant slaying mighty Shrimpers. Big Phil to be gone on the 5th January?"
 
Slip - you could have got a mention in for us in that!

Patience, OBL, patience. Do you really think I'm going to let my first opportunity to report on Southend go unmentioned?!

I blew my cool spectacularly in the press lounge yesterday. As 100+ hacks were gathered around the big screen watching the draw, their grumbles were broken by a loud, "Get the **** in! That's a brilliant draw!"

I think it's fair to say that the nation's press are now under no illusion of where my support lies!

There will be some enormous coverage for that one
 
Patience, OBL, patience. Do you really think I'm going to let my first opportunity to report on Southend go unmentioned?!

I blew my cool spectacularly in the press lounge yesterday. As 100+ hacks were gathered around the big screen watching the draw, their grumbles were broken by a loud, "Get the **** in! That's a brilliant draw!"

I think it's fair to say that the nation's press are now under no illusion of where my support lies!

There will be some enormous coverage for that one

Let's hope we give you a performance to be really proud to report on and not a hint of bias!
 
Slipperduke said:
I blew my cool spectacularly in the press lounge yesterday. As 100+ hacks were gathered around the big screen watching the draw, their grumbles were broken by a loud, "Get the **** in! That's a brilliant draw!"

I think it's fair to say that the nation's press are now under no illusion of where my support lies!
Nice one Slip, I bet they loved you for that !
 
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