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SCP's Blog

Joined
Aug 7, 2010
Messages
10,226
Likes
954
Location
Hockley
#1
1. Jamie's Kitchen

*sniff*

I heard that me predecessor used to write a diary, keeping you all informed of his thoughts and concerns. Well, diaries are for Northerners! You won't catch me doing all that old fashioned stuff, so I've decided to write a blog thing. It'll probably sound a bit like Brown's old diaires though, without the poor Geordie accent, but probably with some faux ****ney stuff thrown in. I would have done a Vlog (see, I'm all technical, I am) but I did a trial run and was proud of me efforts, only to play it back and find me webcam was facing the wrong way and had filmed the mother-in-law carving the turkey instead! .. *grin* :Smile: ........... EDIT : I don't like this blog thing, already. It's edited c*ckney thinking it's a rude word! .. No wonder Chas & Dave never did one of these things! :Unsure:

Anyway, I've had a lot of emails recently asking about some of me team selections and how I come to make them. Well, during the summer I took a walk up that pier here and when I got to the end, they were filming that Jimmy & Johnny's Kitchen Shop Show and there was me old mate Jamie Oliver taking a break from filming and leaning on the railings taking in the sea air. "Alright, mate?" I says and he replies "Well if it isn't me old mate, Cozy" .. "Yep, that's me" .. *grin* .. I says and we get talking about football as he's a keen Charlton fan. I tells him I have a dilemma on me best team to pick at Southend, as I don't have the budget they gave me at Charlton. He says, team selection is like making a cake. You have a base and then put all the ingredients in the middle and mix them up. Then stick one small tiny cherry up top. Stick it in the oven for 90 minutes and hey presto, you have a result. I says that sounds good and I'm already halfway there as I signed a bun this week! .. Jamie laughed "Yep, good luck with it Cozy. Anyway, I've got to dash as we've got that bird in off of Game of Thrones and I fancy the a**e off her!". With that, off I went with me new found ideas ringing in me head. * sniff *

As you know, I'm working alongside two old stalwarts of football. Kevin Keegan and Matthew Kelly. It's great to see Keegs back in the game. He's lost his curly perm these days and frankly doesn't look the same bloke at all. Must be that blow on the head with a baseball bat that time. That said, he comes out with things like "I'd love it if we draw Luton in the next round!" so it must be him. Matthew is that bloke off that 'Stars in their Eyes' where they get someone from a normal day time job like a baker, shelf stacker or forensic scientist and turn them into something else for the evening. Now, it would be easy for me to make a joke here about Theo being on the show, but I'm above all that! They did ask me once and said they expected me to wiggle it for the audience, but I told them that since that incident on Shooters Hill in 2003, my solicitor has advised me to rein that in, so you won't be seeing that anytime soon!

Now, the other evening I was full of praise, as you know, for those two minutes Charlie Coleman had on the pitch against Southampton Secondary Modern. He's mustard keen old Coleman (see, I do do jokes) .. *grin* .. So, after warming himself up for 76 minutes, I let him loose on The Saints and he didn't disappoint.

Unlike Norman Whalebone. Many people have been calling for him to start a match, but frankly I don't like his attitude. Not since he got served in front of me at Boots & Laces during the players evening. I was livid. Especially as he was ordering 26 cokes for the youth team! Took ages. Keegs, though, tells me you can get an app now where you just order from your table and then get some wallah to go and collect them from the bar. I said we didn't need that back in my day. We just sent old Dave Martin up there. Nobody got served in front of him, I tell ya!

Right, I need to focus on the game today. I'm going with a new system of 4-6-0 as a draw will do me and frankly, I can't fit all me midfielders in otherwise!

Enjoy the game. .. *grin* :Smile:
 
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