Seeking opinions.....

[OldBlueLady]

from the great and the good on SZ.

Ok, as you probably may have picked up, things this summer have been pretty crap all round. My daughter has been invited by her boyfriend's parents to go on holiday to Spain with them at half term. Both of them are 15, his parents have booked a 3 bed villa, she will have her own room, and he will share with his 12 year old brother. She's in desperate need of a break, while she's been an absolute diamond thru the summer, it would do her good, and we've never done this type of holiday before.

I have no problem with it, I trust her 100% and know that she is sensible, it's always commented on. I want her to go, we have been asked to stump up for the flight and towards the villa cost.

Her dad, on the otherhand, doesn't. Story changes to suit - 1) he can't afford it (he has millions of airmiles points) 2) he doesn't know the parents 3) he thinks the situation is asking for trouble.

So, good people of SZ, what would be your decision? Allow her to go but make sure she is absolutely 100% clear on contraception (come on, we've all been 15!) or refuse her permission to go?

And those of you that know her (Dan and Sam, I'm looking at you two particularly!), please don't go saying - I'm genuinely interested to know if this is a mum/dad difference of opinion or not.

 

[Hotman]

As a dad i'd find it hard, however if she is going to do the deed she will do anyway, whether in spain or england.

 

[EastStandBlue]

How long have they been together?

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

Had the same prob when our daughter was 15,let her go but not sure if she licked her school mate out,you know what whsg girls are like.

 

[EastStandBlue]

You know what they say, Once in Spain, It'll happen Again and Again.








and Again.









and Maybe a few times after that.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Had the same prob when our daughter was 15,let her go but not sure if she licked her school mate out,you know what whsg girls are like.

Having been one, yes I do ;) And though I can't comment on Spain, I do know about Tenerife - although this is, of course, a British lad.

They've been together about 5 months. When her dad went up to his mum's in the summer, she went too and the b/f. So it's kind of reciprocal, but overseas - I've wanted her to have "proper" holidays for ages but her dad just doesn't "get" holidays, I guess cos he does so much travelling.

Her summer holiday up on the farm, she spent the first 5 days sharing a room with her aunt and her cousin, so her aunt kept her awake talking (she likes analysing) at night then her 5 year old cousin woke her up in the morning. Then she had 2 nights of peace, followed by 4 nights of sharing a room with her dad....and the snoring! Not exactly restful.

I'd just really like to know what you lot think.

 

[Pubey]

Seeing as Mr OBL isn't on here to put forward his argument personally then I couldn't possibly comment on your daughters personal issue on a public messageboard

 

[Shrimper2thecore]

I can see no problem, it is important she gets a break, and she will really appreciate your trust. Do you know his parents? I would want to meet them before hand personally.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Seeing as Mr OBL isn't on here to put forward his argument personally then I couldn't possibly comment on your daughters personal issue on a public messageboard

I've told you the 3 different objections he's come up with. Why can you not just give an objective view?

 

[steveo]

As a dad i'd find it hard, however if she is going to do the deed she will do anyway, whether in spain or england.

What he said.

If it dont happen this year it will only be a matter of time.

Might be a bit picky here, but pay for her flight by all means, but the Villa is presumably paid for. Why do you have to contribute? Would they get a smaller one if she didnt go?

 

[Kent Shrimper]

Everyone makes a choice, However when we are pushed into a corner we either make a rash decision or rebel or make the right one. Everyone is an individual, and yes even at 15, i say give the girl a chance, so she decides she wants some sex, give her the knowledge and let her make the call!!!

 

[OldBlueLady]

What he said.

If it dont happen this year it will only be a matter of time.

Might be a bit picky here, but pay for her flight by all means, but the Villa is presumably paid for. Why do you have to contribute? Would they get a smaller one if she didnt go?

Yes, with 2 sons, they only need a 2 bed, they've got a 3 so she has her own room. Like I said, the flights cost nothing cos there are tons of airmiles accumulated. She's year 11, predicted good grades and having to deal with a lot of crap, the break would do her good. I can't understand it, when he was her age, his g/f at the time used to sleep over in his room, in a sleeping bag on his bed with him! Absolute double standards!

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

I've told you the 3 different objections he's come up with. Why can you not just give an objective view?

Kay, I love you to bits, but when are you going to realize that the main reason that people like Pubey post o this site is to try and wind other posters up and generally make them feel bad about themselves.

 

[manor15]

Livvys sensible Kay and by the sound of it her family know her quite well and if they are willing to do this they must trust him a lot too.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Livvys sensible Kay and by the sound of it her family know her quite well and if they are willing to do this they must trust him a lot too.

Sam, thank you, please don't say anything. I want some perspective to this.

 

[steveo]

and if they are willing to do this they must trust him a lot too.

They will of course have the added benefit of being there.

Just let her go. Whats the worst than can happen other than having to change your name to Old Blue Grandma.

 

[manor15]

I won't. I know how much she trusts him too so if they are talking about doing anything sexual and she didn't want to I can't see her not saying something and from what I've heard he wouldn't make her. It all has to happen at some point in life and it's probably better than having her moaning she can't see him for a while! She's sensible and if she didn't think it was a good idea she wouldn't have told you about it.

 

[Irish_Shrimper]

I say see how much she really wants to go: Test her resolve by sending her to centre parcs for a weekend with that aunt you mentioned who loves a good natter in the middle of the night. Then ship her off to Manor15's gaff for 2 nights, so she can listen to how he thinks a wide range of things like lamps and staplers are amazing.

If she can stick all of that, then she deserves the trip abroad. If not, then she only has herself to blame.

:)

 

[EastStandBlue]

Kay, I love you to bits, but when are you going to realize that the main reason that people like Pubey post o this site is to try and wind other posters up and generally make them feel bad about themselves.

Hold on a second there, what Pubey said was his opinion and he made a pretty good point, as it happens.

This is a public message board that just about anybody could walk onto. How is she going to feel if, by chance, she or somebody who knows her finds this and mentions it? OBL knows the fragility of this herself, as she's pleading with people not to say anything.

OBL's asking for opinions, she got Pubey's one, that a public messageboard probably isn't the best place to discuss a sensitive issue.

 

[JoshC]

Hold on a second there, what Pubey said was his opinion and he made a pretty good point, as it happens.

This is a public message board that just about anybody could walk onto. How is she going to feel if, by chance, she or somebody who knows her finds this and mentions it? OBL knows the fragility of this herself, as she's pleading with people not to say anything.

OBL's asking for opinions, she got Pubey's one, that a public messageboard probably isn't the best place to discuss a sensitive issue.

Got to agree, I cant imagine how this girl would feel if whe saw this or how people at school would use this if they saw it, nothing wrong with asking questions but this just seems a bit too personal for a public message board in my opinion but obviously its your choice.