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Southend United squad expressed as pizzas

The squad as represented as top-grossing musical films

1) Steve Milldenhall
2) Simon Francis
4) Dorian Dervitte
5) Peter Clarke
6) Adam Barrett
7) Anthony Grant
8) Alan McCormack
9) Lee Barnard
10) James Walker
11) Alex Revell
12) Damien Scannell
14) Franck Moussa
15) Osei Sankofa
16) Dougie Freedman
17) Theo Robinson
18) Jonny Herd
19) Charles Ademeno
20) JFC
21) Kevin Betsy
24) Ian Joyce
25) Clark Masters
26) Francis Laurent
27) Peggy Lokondo
29) Paul Furlong
30) Stuart O Keefe

1 Grease
2 Chicago
4 Hairspray (2007)
5 The Rocky Horror Picture Show
6 Dreamgirls
7 High School Musical 3: Senior Year
8 The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
9 Moulin Rouge!
10 The Blues Brothers
11 Annie
12 Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
14 Evita
15 Popeye
16 Yentl
17 Funny Lady
18 Little Shop of Horrors
19 All That Jazz
20 Tommy
21 Rent
24 Across the Universe
25 Xanadu
26 The Wiz
27 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
29 New York, New York
30 Hair
 
The Southend United squad 2011-12 expressed as the top 25 things to do in the British Isles before you die*

1 Glen Morris - Soaking up the Edinburgh Festival.
2 Sean Clohessy - walking the Pembrokeshire Coast Path.
3 Peter Gilbert - Punting on the Cam.
4 Ryan Hall - Supping Guinness in Dublin.
5 Graham Coughlan - Wandering Borrowdale in the Lake District.
6 Bilel Mohsni - Be humbled by Durham Cathedral.
7 Anthony Grant - Cycling in the New Forest.
8 Michael Timlin - See the Belfast Murals.
9 Neil Harris - Surfing in Newquay.
10 Barry Corr - Breathing in the sea air in Tobermory.
11 Lee Sawyer - Hiking in Snowdonia.
12 Kane Ferdinand - Hunting ghosts in York.
14 Jemal Johnson - Getting away from it all on Skellig Michael.
15 Mark Phillips - Get lost in the Balti Triangle.
16 Luke Prosser - Clubbing in London.
17 Daniel Bentley - Walking on Dartmoor.
18 Ryan Leonard - Trundling along the West Highlands Railway.
19 JP Kalala - Winning the prehistoric lottery (Newgrange Lottery, Co Meath).
20 Harry Crawford - Watching a football match at Old Trafford.
21 Blair Sturrock - Losing yourself in Connemara.
22 Liam Dickinson - Take a stroll from St Paul's to Tate Modern.
23 Chris Barker - Holkham magic: visiting the best beach in Britain.





*according to the Daily Telegraph. I take no responsibility as to the accuracy of this list.
 
Top 25 things cheaters say, expressed as squad numbers:

1- Morris “It just happened!”
2 - Clohessy “Who’re you gonna believe, me or her?”
3 - Gilbert “It’s not what it looks like!”
4 - Hall - “But I love you!”
5 - Coughlan - “I was thinking of you the entire time ... “
6 - Mohsni - “Why would I need anyone else when I have someone as beautiful, intelligent and sexy as you?”
7- Grant - “I was drunk that night!”
8 - Timlin - “I know I did it before, but that was in the past ... Don’t you trust me?
9 - Harris - “She used mind control.”
10 - Corr - “It was just one time!”
11 - Sawyer - “Stop reading into things!”
12 - Ferdinand -“It’s hackers, baby ... that’s the only way that message could have been sent from my Facebook.”
14 - Johnson - “That’s not a hickey — I had an incident with the vacuum cleaner!”
15 - Philips - “I don’t love her, I love you!”
16 - Prosser - “I didn’t know what I was doing.”
17 - Bentley - “We fell asleep watching a movie and when I woke up, she was on top of me!”
18 - leonard - “Why are you asking so many questions? Does it matter where or what time I had dinner?”
19 - Kalala - “God has forgiven me, why can’t you?”
20 - Crawford - “It’s not you, it’s me.”
21 - Sturrock - “I thought you trusted me!”
22 - Dickinson - “We just fooled around a little.”
23 - Barker - “Well, I thought you were cheating on me, so ...”
 
The first 25 Booker prize winners:

1. Morris - Something to Answer For
2. Clohessy - The Elected Member
3. Gilbert - In a Free State
4. Hall - G
5. Coughlan - The Siege of Krishnapur
6 - Mohsni - Holiday
7 - Grant - Heat and Dust
8 - Timlin - Saville
9 - Harris - Staying On
10- Corr - The Sea, The Sea
11 - Sawyer - Midnight’s Children
12 - Ferdinand- Schindler’s Ark
14 - Johnson - Life & Times of Michael K
15 - Phillips - Hotel du Lac
16 - Prosser - The Bone People
17 - Leonard - The Old Devils
18 - Bentley - Moon Tiger
19 - Kalala - Oscar and Lucinda
20 - Crawford - The Remains of the Day
21 - Sturrock - Possession
22- Dickinson - The Famished Road
23 - Barker - The English Patient
 
As IGN's top 25 PC games of all time

1. Morris - X-COM: UFO Defense
2. Clohessy - Dune 2
3. Gilbert - Pirates!
4. Hall - Civilization
5. Coughlan - Ultima Underworld
6 - Mohsni - Tetris
7 - Grant - Starcraft
8 - Timlin - Doom
9 - Harris - Master of Magic
10- Corr - Half-Life
11 - Sawyer - Diablo
12 - Ferdinand- Elite
14 - Johnson - Star Wars: TIE Fighter
15 - Phillips - SimCity 2000
16 - Prosser - Populous II
17 - Leonard - Command & Conquer: Red Alert
18 - Bentley - Wing Commander II
19 - Kalala - Homeworld
20 - Crawford - Sam & Max Hit the Road
21 - Sturrock - Aces of the Pacific
22- Dickinson - Syndicate
23 - Barker - Unreal Tournament
 
As IGN's top 25 PC games of all time

1. Morris - X-COM: UFO Defense
2. Clohessy - Dune 2
3. Gilbert - Pirates!
4. Hall - Civilization
5. Coughlan - Ultima Underworld
6 - Mohsni - Tetris
7 - Grant - Starcraft
8 - Timlin - Doom
9 - Harris - Master of Magic
10- Corr - Half-Life
11 - Sawyer - Diablo
12 - Ferdinand- Elite
14 - Johnson - Star Wars: TIE Fighter
15 - Phillips - SimCity 2000
16 - Prosser - Populous II
17 - Leonard - Command & Conquer: Red Alert
18 - Bentley - Wing Commander II
19 - Kalala - Homeworld
20 - Crawford - Sam & Max Hit the Road
21 - Sturrock - Aces of the Pacific
22- Dickinson - Syndicate
23 - Barker - Unreal Tournament

10-14 are particularly good
 
Especially for MK

Pscyhology Today's top posts shared from February 2012

Sean Clohessy - Why are Men so Violent?
Anthony Straker - Do men find very skinny women attractive?
Ryan Hall - The Power of Shyness and High Sensitivity
Graham Coughlan - What Nonbelievers Believe
Ryan Cresswell - Nine Essential Qualities of Mindfulness
Freddy Eastwood - Six Signs You're Being Seduced
Michael Timlin - Stop Thinking so much
Neil Harris - How Men’s Minds Reveal the Wisdom of Women’s Bodies
And one for Barna - Barry Corr - Believing Our Own Lies
David Martin - Intensity Isn't Always Intimacy
Kane Ferdinand - Do Narcissists Read Minds Better?
Kevan Hurst - Psychology's Best-Kept Secrets
Mark Phillips - How Spanking Harms the Brain
Luke Prosser - Eight Keys to Life Hardiness and Resiliency
Daniel Bentley - The Purpose of "Pity Sex"
Ryan Leonard - Success, Ideal Love, and Abandonment
Gavin Tomlin - How Hot Exes Make Us More Attractive
Chris Barker - Sensitivity on a Spectrum
Elliot Benyon - Things You Must Never Say Aloud
 
Grand National Special

1 Paul Smith (G) IMPERIAL COMMANDER
17 Daniel Bentley (G) BALTHAZAR KING
2 Sean Clohessy WHAT A FRIEND
3 Anthony Straker WEIRD AL
5 Graham Coughlan BIG FELLA THANKS
6 Ryan Cresswell SEABASS
15 Mark Phillips ON HIS OWN
16 Luke Prosser JONCOL
18 Ryan Leonard CAPPA BLEU
21 Bilel Mohsni TATENEN (FRA)
23 Chris Barker LOST GLORY
29 Tamika Mkandawire THE RAINBOW HUNTER
12 Matthew Lund JOIN TOGETHER
27 Ben Reeves QUISCOVER FONTAINE
4 Michael Spillane QUEL ESPRIT
8 Michael Timlin SUNNYHILLBOY (IRE)
14 Kevan Hurst FORPADYDEPLASTERER
19 John Spicer OSCAR TIME
20 Britt Assombalonga ALWAYS WAINING
26 Marc Laird CHICAGO GREY
7 Fredy Eastwood ROBERTO GOLDBACK
9 Neil Harris BALLABRIGGS
10 Barry Corr TEAFORTHREE (IRE)
21 Gavin Tomlin TATENEN

32 Seedy Njie MR MOONSHINE
22 Jack Paxman TREACLE

Smith, Barker, Straker and Coughlan are the ones that stand out.
 
Top Urban Legends

I expect us to start the season as follows

Shampoo Warning
Coca-Cola recalls 2m bottles with the name Michael - 16 People Dead in Roller Coaster Accident Video - Richard Gere and the Gerbil - 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays in August
the Babysitter and the man upstairs
Carmen Winstead - the Russian Sleep Experiment - the Clown Statue - Derek Jeter cancels retirement and signs for Boston Red Sox
George W Bush arrested for cocaine possession

Our squad in full

1 – Daniel Bentley - Shampoo Warning
2 – John White - Coca-Cola recalls 2m bottles with the name Michael
3 – Ben Coker - 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays in August
4 - Mads Max Ibenfeldt - Breast Infestation
5 – Adam Thompson -Dead Body found under Motel Bed in NJ
6 – Luke Prosser - Richard Gere and the Gerbil
7 – David Worrall - Flight 297 Atlanta to Houston
8 – Michael Timlin - the Legend of Bloody Mary
9 – Lee Barnard - Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite
10 – Barry Corr - George W Bush arrested for cocaine possession
11 – Myles Weston - Derek Jeter cancels retirement and signs for Boston Red Sox
12 – Will Atkinson - the Russian Sleep Experiment
13 – Ted Smith - Humans Can Lick Too
14 – Kevan Hurst - Carmen Winstead
15 - Cian Bolger - 16 People Dead in Roller Coaster Accident Video
16 – Conor Clifford - the Clown Statue
17 - Shaquile Coulthirst - NASA Experiments with Sex in Space
18 – Ryan Leonard - the Babysitter and the man upstairs
19 – Jack Payne - Do earwigs crawl in people's ears and eat their brains?
20 - Isaac Layne - Mr Rogers was a marine sniper
21 – Paul Smith - 'OMG she ended up in emergency after friends did this'
 
This year's squad as the scariest books ever written

1 England GK Daniel Bentley - Rebecca
2 England DF John White - The Exorcist
3 England DF Ben Coker - Dracula
4 England MF Anthony Wordsworth - The Handmaid's Tale
5 Northern Ireland DF Adam Thompson - American Pyscho
6 England DF Luke Prosser - Bill Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
7 England MF David Worrall - the Witches
8 Republic of Ireland MF Michael Timlin - Tropic of Cancer
9 Republic of Ireland FW David Mooney - Blood Meridian
10 England MF Jack Payne - Pollen
11 Antigua and Barbuda MF Myles Weston - the Invisible Man
12 England MF Will Atkinson - We
13 England GK Ted Smith - Requiem for a Dream
14 England MF Kevan Hurst - Hell House
15 Republic of Ireland DF Cian Bolger - Blindness
16 Republic of Ireland FW Noel Hunt - The Trial
17 Republic of Ireland MF Stephen McLaughlin - A Scanner Darkly
18 England MF Ryan Leonard - the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
20 Republic of Ireland DF Glen Rea (on loan from Brighton & Hove Albion) - Lord of the Flies
21 England GK Paul Smith - **** and Bull
22 Republic of Ireland MF Gary Deegan - Disgrace
23 England FW Joe Pigott (on loan from Charlton Athletic) - Pet Semetary
24 England DF Luke O'Neill - The Stranger
26 England DF Adam Barrett - IQ84
28 England FW Jason Williams - Naked Lunch
30 England MF Jack Bridge - Frankenstein

Particularly highlights are Like Prosser's Bill Lynn's Long Half-time Walk, Miles Weston as the Invisible Man which works on so many levels, Gary Deegan being Disgrace and Jason Williams being the ramblings of a drug-addled loon.
 
I think we should line up as follows at Millwall

Rebecca
The Stranger - Lord of the Flies - IQ84 - Dracula
The Witches - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo -Tropic of Cancer - A Scanner Darkly
Pet Semetary - The Trial

If the Trial is out injured again then Pollen comes in and we go 4-5-1. If the Tropic of Cancer doesn't pass the fitness test then the Handmaid's Tale retains their place.
 
I think we should line up as follows at Millwall

Rebecca
The Stranger - Lord of the Flies - IQ84 - Dracula
The Witches - The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo -Tropic of Cancer - A Scanner Darkly
Pet Semetary - The Trial

Why is Flahavan playing in the back four ?
 
Top 30 British grumbles about winter as per the Western Daily Express

1 Daniel Bentley - Dark mornings
2 John White - Cold hands
3 Ben Coker - Shorter days/longer nights
4 Anthony Wordsworth - Cost of energy bills
5 Adam Thompson - Rain
6 Luke Prosser - Black ice/slipping over
7 David Worrall - de-icing the car
8 Michael Timlin - Getting out of bed in the morning
9 David Mooney - Having to wear a coat everywhere
10 Jack Payne - Snow/slush
11 Myles Weston - Muddy snow
12 Will Atkinson - Getting ill
13 Ted Smith - Other people sniffing
14 Kevan Hurst - Getting wet feet
15 Cian Bolger - Dry skin
16 Noel Hunt - Staying in more
17 Stephen McLaughlin - People sneezing on public transport
18 Ryan Leonard - Chapped lips/skin
20 Glen Rea (on loan from Brighton & Hove Albion) -Wearing lots of layers
21 Paul Smith - Getting soaked by passing vehicles
22 Gary Deegan - Heater problems/boiler not working
23 Joe Pigott (on loan from Charlton Athletic) - Co-workers being in work when they're too ill
24 Luke O'Neill - People clearing their throats
26 Adam Barrett - Christmas
28 Jason Williams - Struggling with an umbrella
30 Jack Bridge - Cracked knuckles

Shame I couldnt use 25. Doing less exercise and 29. Missing out on things due to illness



I'll leave to the forum to make jokes about some of them but some of these are golden.
 
Top 30 British grumbles about winter as per the Western Daily Express

1 Daniel Bentley - Dark mornings
2 John White - Cold hands
3 Ben Coker - Shorter days/longer nights
4 Anthony Wordsworth - Cost of energy bills
5 Adam Thompson - Rain
6 Luke Prosser - Black ice/slipping over
7 David Worrall - de-icing the car
8 Michael Timlin - Getting out of bed in the morning
9 David Mooney - Having to wear a coat everywhere
10 Jack Payne - Snow/slush
11 Myles Weston - Muddy snow
12 Will Atkinson - Getting ill
13 Ted Smith - Other people sniffing
14 Kevan Hurst - Getting wet feet
15 Cian Bolger - Dry skin
16 Noel Hunt - Staying in more
17 Stephen McLaughlin - People sneezing on public transport
18 Ryan Leonard - Chapped lips/skin
20 Glen Rea (on loan from Brighton & Hove Albion) -Wearing lots of layers
21 Paul Smith - Getting soaked by passing vehicles
22 Gary Deegan - Heater problems/boiler not working
23 Joe Pigott (on loan from Charlton Athletic) - Co-workers being in work when they're too ill
24 Luke O'Neill - People clearing their throats
26 Adam Barrett - Christmas
28 Jason Williams - Struggling with an umbrella
30 Jack Bridge - Cracked knuckles

Shame I couldnt use 25. Doing less exercise and 29. Missing out on things due to illness



I'll leave to the forum to make jokes about some of them but some of these are golden.

I'd expect us to line up tomorrow as

Dark Mornings
Cold Hands - Dry Skin - Slipping over - Longer Nights
De-icing the Car - Getting Chapped Lips - Getting out of bed in the morning - Muddy Snow
Snow/slush
Having to wear a coat everywhere

But that all depends on whether Wearing lots of layers is available again. Who knows, maybe even Phil Brown will finally make MrsBlue happy and give Struggling with an umbrella a run out.
 
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