Stacking it in public

[Mad Cyril]

This morning I had the misfortune to trip/fall over whilst descending the stairs at a busy London train station.

I managed to recover pretty quickly, was straight back on my feet pretended nothing had happened.

Although this was not the most embarassing event in my life (which is probably being sick in front of queuing rush hour traffic whilst half way across a pelican crossing following an afternoon session) it obviously made me look like a bit of a ****.

Has anyone got any better techniques for dealing with public misfortune other than pretending nothing happened? I am currently considering changing to a different train for a week or so or changing my appearance by going to work in a tracksuit.

Stories of public misfortune are of course welcome.

 

[jassyfa1]

the worst one I can think off, was when I was on the YTS and working in Southend. During a lunchbreak I decided to join a gym, (opposite where the Royals is) as it was near to my place of work. After paying for my membership I started to use the gym, on my 1st visit I forgot my trainers and started working out in bare feet, under the idea that you done PE in the gym bare foot so whats the difference.
I also had no idea how any of the machines worked. This was easily picked up by one of the members who informed me that I had my hands where my feet should be. Finally after getting changed I needed a crap and got stuck in the toilet as the door got jammed.
So on my first visit I had no trainers, used the machines wrongly and got stuck in a toilet. Needless to say I never went again.

 

[MK Shrimper]

Fell over in heavy snow when I was 10 in a snowball fight. An unknown child then decided to jump on my back as I hoisted myself to my feet and oops, there goes my wrist. Not to mention wandering around for 1/2hr with a broken wrist trying to find a teacher (this was 1981) and then when I did to be told it's just sprained.

Off to hospital, arm in plaster.

Also managed to do a similar thing last cold snap where I parked up and the ice was literally invisible and I stacked it cartoon style but bashed my head on the tarmac. Fortunately no broken bones this time.

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

Fortunately no broken bones this time.

The bill for relaying the tarmac where some fat headed fool nose-dived into was astronomical though :p

 

[MK Shrimper]

The bill for relaying the tarmac where some fat headed fool nose-dived into was astronomical though :p

Head thin, nose big :p

 

[Uncle Leo]

I tripped over the kerb this very morning, shortly after leaving the house. This had high potential for embarrassment seeing as I live not far from a secondary school but luckily they have quite a high truancy problem in Uxbridge so no-one was around to see it.

Confessing this stumble to the good people of ShrimperZone has been a cathartic experience.

 

[Pubey]

I went to the gym with Mrs Pubey on saturday. she got me a guest pass for her one in Wigan. I was in the pool and hoisted myself out, when suddenly my swimming shorts decided to slip down to my ankles. My little white *** was revealed to all in the pool... I made a bee-line straight for steam room while Mrs Pubey and about 10 people in the pool laughed their heads off. Damn my swimming shorts that are far too big!

 

[Pubey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahNfhUysehk

 

[A Century United]

Walking around the house in my crocs in the wet (I know now) to get something that had been left lying on the lawn. Flight of three steps down, stepped onto the first one and went up in the air and came down with the edge of the top step across the small of my back - very lucky not to crack my head. Was in agony, (had to spend the rest of the day on my stomach) and it took me a couple of minutes before I could even move. Eventually managed to get over on to my hands and knees, and the first thing that I did? Call for help? Wave pathetically? Nope. Had a good look around to make sure no-one had seen me.

 

[Crawliano]

Running over the road to get to Benfleet station a few years back I was doing my best spritely gazelle impression, the tip of my right foot caught the kerb, I went straight down and slid about 5 feet in front of three bus loads of people on the other side of the road.

Knowing what I would do in the situation I got up and took a bow. Then looked at my jacket which was scuffed and seemed to be darkening in a claret style and realised that I may have actually hurt myself then went into the station and had to clean up with a tear in my eye, confidence was fine as I had the balls to admit my mistake but my pocket took a battering with the inevitable purchase of more clothing on arrival at Fenchurch Street.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

On one of the routes that I cycle into work, there is a brief section of cycle path on Mansell Street (just after you've crossed Tower Bridge) which allows you to cycle in the opposite direction to the traffic. In order to allow cyclists to rejoin the traffic safely, there is a mixed-use pedestrian & cyclist island - here's a pic:

clicky

So, I was on my bike, on the traffic island, waiting for the lights to change so that I could rejoin the carriageway. I was rolling forward very slowly, because I had my feet in my bicycle toe-clips and didn't want to extricate them or get off my seat.

I thought that the lights were about to change, so relaxed the brakes and began to roll forward more quickly. Only problem was... I got it completely wrong. The lights didn't change, and cars were still pouring through.

I grabbed the brakes, stopped immediately... and forgot to take my toes out of the toe-clips. I promptly toppled over, crashing to the ground about 1ft in front of some very startled pedestrians - and I managed to pull off this impressive feat while completely stationary.

Needless to say, not only was it highly embarrassing, but I also fell "gears side" - thereby causing quite a lot of damage to the bike!

:doh:

Matt

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

I've stacked it in public too often to even begin to list them here

I think its because i'm a bit clumsy (and often ****ed)

 

[osymandus]

Vomiting during the day in the middle of Canary Wharf DLR station due to an alergic reaction to medication , of which i then had to get myself a Cab to teh nearest hospital oh joy :D

 

[please delete my account]

I don't know if this counts, but I once deliberately tripped somone up who landed chest first in some sizable dog mess.
The kid's parents were furious and his crutches went flying, but **** 'em eh.

Kind Regards

 

[grassroots]

Hope this counts. Had been to Mersey Island for the day and had to wait on the causway for the tide to go out. A couple of guys were showning off on their jet skis to 'amusement' of the 30 or so people who had got out of their cars. The 'braver' they become, the lower the water was going until one of the lads hit some mud at speed, propelling him over the handlebars and landed flat on his back in the thick slimey ooze! VERY satisfying!

 

[A Century United]

BTW, Murphy's Law dictates that the likelyhood of any one watching you is directly proportional to the stupidy of your actions.

 

[MrB]

Sure I've wheeled this one out before but the memory always makes me chuckle.

Standing at the urinal in Varsity toilets which, as you'll know if you've been there, is one long standing area rather than indivdual bowls. Obviously some plumbing issues as the 'waste' was not draining particularly quickly so the gutter was at high yellow tide most of the time. Anyway, busily relieving myself at the far end when some bloke bursts through the door, clearly steaming, and almost runs the three paces towards the step, trips over and and lands arm first in however many people's accumulated urine. Possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.

He got up and basically ran straight back out of the loo. I then went back to relay this to my friends, asking if they'd seen a bloke with a saturated arm and shoulder run out of the loo. Naturally I assumed he'd be going straight home however imagine my surprise when I saw him about an hour later on the other side of the pub, same shirt, same level of steamingness. Clearly had just assumed it would dry out so he would just carry on. Nice!

 

[Mad Cyril]

Anyone that remembers Roller City will remember that the urinals were about six inches higher than usual so you could skate into the gents, urinate and then skate off again.

I remember a novice skater start to urinate, start to fall, struggle to regain his balance and finally end up flat on his back.

Unfortunately, whilst trying (and failing) to stay upright he forgot to stop urinating and ended up spraying himself and several others as he careered around like a garden sprinkler on his way to the ground.

I managed to keep a straight face just long enough to get out the gents.

 

[canveyshrimper]

I may have related this one before. I went up to Flatford Mill with a mate and a couple of lasses we were going out with. We decided to take a rowing boat out each. I made sure my lass got into the boat and was safely seated, before I nimbly hopped aboard.

Sadly I was not very nimble and over balanced and went over the side into the sodding water. I surfaced a few minutes later to be greeted by a large and indignant mallard who greeted me with a loud quack. Shame I didn't have an orange with as it would have been shoved up its arse and duck a l'orange would have been on the menu. As it was I spent quite an uncomfortable afternoon squelching around the bloody place.

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

I may have related this one before. I went up to Flatford Mill with a mate and a couple of lasses we were going out with. We decided to take a rowing boat out each. I made sure my lass got into the boat and was safely seated, before I nimbly hopped aboard.

Sadly I was not very nimble and over balanced and went over the side into the sodding water. I surfaced a few minutes later to be greeted by a large and indignant mallard who greeted me with a loud quack. Shame I didn't have an orange with as it would have been shoved up its arse and duck a l'orange would have been on the menu. As it was I spent quite an uncomfortable afternoon squelching around the bloody place.

Wrong thread mate, you should of put this with Aberdeens/MKs poncey food one ;)

Great tale though :D