Stopping Snoring

[EastStandBlue]

After 3/4 months of enjoying the single life, I've started to see someone new and, so far, it's been going great. She's attractive, had a great body and has a good sense of humour. There's only one thing getting in the way at the moment...





She snores like a ****ing truck.




When I first started seeing her, I was warned by her flatmates about it. I was drunk at the time and fell asleep, didn't hear anything, so just passed it off as an inside joke... I know we have plenty of them in this house (The Dog Food incident is still recieving critical acclaim).

The last few nights though we've stayed at each others, and i've got next to no sleep. Joking aside, I've had like 8 hours sleep over the last 3 nights or something stupid. I heard somewhere that you can roll them and it can stop, so I tried that last night and think I gave her whiplash.

Short of sticking a bucket on her head and plugging my ears up, is there anything that can be done while I'm still sane?

 

[Mad Cyril]

Direct her to this thread.

You will instantly be enjoying snore free nights.

 

[chadded]

If you don't sleep, you don't snore. Wake the lazy bitch up.


Laters.

 

[steveo]

Get drunk every night, it worked once it can work again.

 

[Pubey]

Read the "live thread", that will send you straight to sleep even with a walrus snoring down your earhole

 

[OldBlueLady]

Welcome to my world. Try a nudge, and asking her to "turn over", works sometimes - or give the pillow a little pull, that can work too.

 

[chadded]

Read the "live thread", that will send you straight to sleep even with a walrus snoring down your earhole

Harsh, I know I called her a lazy bitch, but the man said she was attractive. I've been with many a Walrus, and I warn you, one thing they ain't, is attractive.


Bon Jour.

 

[Irish_Shrimper]

Those dissolvable strips that you put on the ceiling of your mouth work a treat. Try some of them.

 

[chadded]

Kidney Punches work as well.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Kidney Punches work as well.

Who do you think I am? Marlon King?

 

[callan]

Stick a biro pen up each of yer birds nostrils, wont stop the snoring, but will kill boredom.

 

[please delete my account]

Maybe you could save knocking her about as a last resort.

For the time being, try gagging her or maybe sliding something into her mouth to muffle the snores..

Hope this helps

 

[canveyshrimper]

Read the "live thread", that will send you straight to sleep even with a walrus snoring down your earhole

Says he who has contributed 146 posts to it. :whistling:

Nasal strips are supposed to work and if they can fit over Robbie Fowlers hooter they'll fit anyone.

 

[stevie_G_G_G]

You've done the deed, time to leave her be and find another one

 

[Pubey]

Says he who has contributed 146 posts to it. :whistling:

Nasal strips are supposed to work and if they can fit over Robbie Fowlers hooter they'll fit anyone.

you got me there! I prefer to think of that in percentage terms... 2%!

 

[MK Shrimper]

you got me there! I prefer to think of that in percentage terms... 2%!

No wonder you've read so many books about "fiddling" statistics..... :whistling:

 

[Pubey]

No wonder you've read so many books about "fiddling" statistics..... :whistling:

not so much fiddling as putting it into context!

by the way is your new signature a quote from Pete Townshend?

 

[chadded]

Who do you think I am? Marlon King?

You ask for help, I give you a solution that would work. What more do you want, blood?

I resign.

Some people are never happy.


(Although if kidney punches are too harsh for your liking, wake her up with a nipple cripple.)

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Those nose strips are useless. Well, they stop you snoring - in that they stop you sleeping.

Does she snore when she sleeps on her side? Most people only snore when lying on their backs, so you could try getting her to give side-sleeping a go...

 

[Davros]

Those dissolvable strips that you put on the ceiling of your mouth work a treat. Try some of them.

i need to get hold of some of them, the good lady says i've been snoring quite a bit the lats couple of months too