The Golf Book

[Slipperduke]

It's that time again, chaps. This is book number four of the quadrology...

*waits for MtS to find the error in the Latin*

...of sports books that I'm writing this year. And it's time for Golf.

Now, this will be a strange one because there doesn't seem to be an awful lot to explain. Compared to the others, it's actually an incredibly simple sport with the hard work being carried out between the ears. Obviously, I'll be explaining the rules, the quirks and the way the professional game works. I'll be looking at the big tournaments and the legendary players, I'll even be explaining how the tours work, but I still seem to be coming up about 5k-10k short.

If you were explaining golf to a beginner, what would you include?

As usual, all good suggestions will earn a place in the acknowledgment section.

 

[Napster]

It's all about timing. Oh, and Tiger's caddy is the best-paid sportsman in NZ.

 

[steveo]

You could pick a few famous holes and put some pictures in. That should take up a few pages. Then maybe a brief description of how a club player would play them compared to pro.

Also, for newcomers, an explanation of how Stableford points work and why most people play that system and specifically how the system works in conjunction with stroke indexes. Still amazes me that I can play with people who have been playing for years but dont understand the points system.

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Some random ones -

Include the bit about it ruining a good walk as one of the clever quotes before the introduction.

Greastest slapslick moments/snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (Jean van de Velde in the stream, Woosie's caddy miscounting the clubs etc).

You could also look at technological advances (woods no longer made of wood [except Woods' charisma-less wooden interviews]) and how power has overtaken technique to a certain extent as courses lengthen to keep up with today's players.

Try and explain why all movies about golf are horse**** (yeah, even the one with Bill Murray in it).

Talk about Peter Aliss and Ewan Murray being up there with Walker/Brundle, Tyler/Gray and Sid Waddell/Sid Waddell's second brain.

An interview with that bloke in Middlesborough who just sunk his 5th hole in one and find out how much the bar bill has bitchslapped him each time.

A guide to the best public courses for people to use their newfound knowledge on.

10 reasons why they should **** off and watch football instead.

 

[canveyshrimper]

You could pick a few famous holes and put some pictures in. That should take up a few pages. Then maybe a brief description of how a club player would play them compared to pro.

Also, for newcomers, an explanation of how Stableford points work and why most people play that system and specifically how the system works in conjunction with stroke indexes. Still amazes me that I can play with people who have been playing for years but dont understand the points system.

Or courses for that matter, The Augusta National, Pebble Beach, Sawgrass, Carnoustie, Turnberry and the home of golf, and home of the R&A St Andrews. I would say that no golf book should go without mention of the Ryder Cup which since the early 80's has become one of the must see sporting events in the world.

The great players of the past Locke, Cotton, Jones, Hogan, Player, Nicklaus, Watson, Faldo & currently the charmless Woods.

And finally a chapter on who you would play around with. ;)

PS: Slip how is the cricket book progressing?

 

[steveo]

Some random ones -

Try and explain why all movies about golf are horse**** (yeah, even the one with Bill Murray in it).
.

You surely cant be referring to Happy Gilmour!

 

[Uncle Leo]

Write a section on how if golf got admitted to the Olympics it would be one of the biggest disgraces in sporting history.

 

[Slipperduke]

Cheers chaps, all great as ever.

The Cricket book is written and essentially finished. I got my feedback from the publishers and they basically said that the content is good, but the structure needs some work. A bit of surgery here and there and it should be done by the end of the week.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

This is book number four of the quadrology...

*waits for MtS to find the error in the Latin*

Tetrology, old boy. We've been here before - don't mix your Latin and your Greek.

;)

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

Some random ones -

Include the bit about it ruining a good walk as one of the clever quotes before the introduction.

The "good walk spoiled" quote is often ascribed to Churchill, isn't it? I'll do some google searching...

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

The "good walk spoiled" quote is often ascribed to Churchill, isn't it? I'll do some google searching...

Ah... it appears that it was Mark Twain who came up with that one.

 

[Stats]

Ah... it appears that it was Mark Twain who came up with that one.

Your punishment for wrongly quoting Churchill shall be;

**A pinch of the inner thigh with the sugar tongs** :)

The below website may be of interest to you mts

http://www.silversugartongs.com/

 

[Pubey]

This may not be any help whatsoever, but was in the car last night and had 5live on. I think that at around 9ish they were about to have a discussion with pro's about how to improve the game... no idea if you can listen to it again, but probably would have been quite interesting. Mrs Pubey's brother is a professional golfer, and I think there's a lot of talk about the introduction of shorter/faster versions of the game

 

[Slipperduke]

Ok, here's the provisional running order. Do you think I'm missing anything obvious?

Intro 1k
History of Golf 2k
In a nutshell 1k

The Course 1k, holes, pars, lengths
The Clubs 1k, driver, wood, iron, wedge, putter
The Shots 1k drive, approach, chip, putt
The Obstacles 1k, bunker, water, out of bounds

Bogies & Birdies 1k
The Scorecard 1k
Penalties 1k

Caddies 1k
Handicap 1k
Etiquette 1k

Match Play 500
Stroke Play 500
Skins 500
Stableford 500

The Ryder Cup 1k
The Majors (UK, US, Masters, Players) 2k
The PGA Tour 1k
The European Tour & Others1k
Women's Golf 1k

Best 5 Courses 2k
Best 10 Golfers 2k
Great Golf Mistakes 1k,
Glossary 3k

 

[canveyshrimper]

I think you should have 4 sections on skins. ;)

For great glofing errors a purple clad Doug Sanders missing a putt from about 6 inches to gift Jack Nicklaus the Open around 1970.

Ian Woosnam's caddie's inability to count a few years ago when Woosie had a good chance of winning the Open.

BTW it's not the UK or British Open it's The Open.

 

[Slipperduke]

BTW it's not the UK or British Open it's The Open.

Ha ha! I made this mistake with a very posh chap I used to work with, he was scandalised!

 

[canveyshrimper]

Ha ha! I made this mistake with a very posh chap I used to work with, he was scandalised!

:D I hope he's written a letter to The Times.

 

[steveo]

Not sure about 5 best courses. Might be easier to do 5 best Golf Holes

 

[canveyshrimper]

Not sure about 5 best courses. Might be easier to do 5 best Golf Holes

Blimey that's probably more difficult.

 

[steveo]

Blimey that's probably more difficult.

You think so? Im thinking if you go with 5 top holes, you can have a lovely piccy. Bit harder to picture a whole course