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Lord of the Reedy River
Aug 7, 2010
Wey aye, pets. PB, here.

I've decided to dispense with me programme notes for 2017 as, let's face it, who buys a programme these days. Waste of money. Whoops I shouldn't be saying that, should I? But we all know only programme collectors and loons buy programmes and they don't even open them, as they'll lose value. It's all online stuff nowadays. Long throw from my day, when people walked miles to buy a programme. Aye, champion times they were.

Anyway, where was I? .. Reet, here's me notes for this week. I'll dispense with the poor attempt at a Geordie accent from now on, as it takes too long to Google the words!

Saturday 7th January 2017

We've got Sheffield United at home today. I was told it'll be a packed house, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to switching the match. I had a week in Tenerife booked away for the lads for some warm weather training and a chance to top up the old boat race. See, I'm learning the lingo, down here, already!

I've decided to change the formation. Yep, I know what you're thinking. Why change a winning formula and against the top side, as well, but this fella doesn't conform to the norm. That's why I'm still in demand. Rotherham were after me only last month, apparently... and who wouldn't want to go there, eh? .. Most people, by the looks of things! :smile:

I've got a cunning plan to thwart Wilder's tactics of beating every f***er in the league. I'm going to play top scorer, Coxy, in midfield. I could try McGlash, but he can't defend and I could try Hines, but he can't do anything. Well, not yet, anyway.

I've got a great feeling about today.

Sunday 8th January 2017

Well, f**k a duck, that went well! :facepalm:

They were way too good for us, yesterday.

No doubt some on that Shrimperzone I've heard about will blame Ted, but I know better than that and I've decided to blame meself, like a good honest pro would .. oh, and the whole team for not turning up, certain individuals for falling asleep at set-pieces, the chairman for not letting me buy who I wanted and the chairman again for agreeing to re-arrange the fixture and Wilder for not being fair and turning up with Real Madrid, instead of his normal side.

Monday 9th January 2017

Just read that I didn't win Manager of the Month for December. Bl**dy Keith Hill won it. I thought they didn't give trophies out to Northern clubs. Being sponsored by SKY and that. I'm fuming!

At least that Jay Simpson deal should go through today. That'll please the fans.

Tuesday 10th January 2017

Another sh*te day.

Apparently Simpson doesn't want to play for us. He's signed for Philadelphia Union. F**k me, who are they? Sounds like some sort of Bank. Maybe he's given up playing football. He certainly did for Orient. LOL :smile:

Good news, though. Cokes is fit and wants to play on Saturday. I'm well pleased, although him and Wordy will start arguing over who takes the free-kicks again. It's so childish. I told them that they have to sort it out like men, with a good old conker fight. That's how we did it when I played for Bolton.

Wednesday 11th January 2017

Nile's in court today.

We all know he's innocent, so I expect them to drop the charges and offer him compensation for them wasting his time.

More managers sacked. Three in our division this week. I think I'm one of the only ones left from the start of the season .. What does Shaun Goater know, eh?

Thursday 12th January 2017

What a clown. He only went and pleaded guilty! :facepalm:Doesn't he listen to what I say, at all? .. Always blame everyone else. That's my motto!

Ron won't be happy.

He'll have to go down to Earls Hall Primary School again to get them to write a club statement. He hates doing that, as the kids ask stupid questions like "Who are you, Mister?".

If things didn't seem bad enough, Ben called me this afternoon and said that Macca's out for two months. That's a disaster. Those 'zone guys will be demanding I bring in Raheem Sterling to fill the gap. They just don't understand that money doesn't grow on trees around here. HMRC normally take it, before it does!

Friday 13th January 2017

It had to be Friday 13th, didn't it.

Yep, I guess you've all heard the news that Nile is in trouble again!

No idea what he's done now. They won't tell me. Probably the RSPCA again. He really should feed that horse of his!

I don't think things can get any worse. At least we've got an away game tomorrow, to get away from it all.

Hang on. We're at home. Bl**dy hell. Don't we ever play away!... and it's Rochdale. We never beat them and I'll have that lunatic, Hill, shining that Manager of the Month Trophy in my face to annoy me. I hate football!
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