Me and The Captain have been discussing a homage to Orwell's 'The Road To Wigan Pier' with some contemporary musings on the state of the nation today, based on our social encounters and exchanges with our public. To set the scene for this one, I wish to tell you how The Captain once taught your Emperor a valuable lesson which the great Lou Reed had first taught him. This lesson was contained in the words of Lou's song, 'Modern Dance,' where the protagonist muses on being in various parts of the world in order to gain different experiences. The Captain deduced from this that the 'travel dream' sold to impressionable adventurers was a chimera. He said, "Listen up, Emp - and guess what ? You can 'find yourself' here. You don't have to go around the world to do it. All the answers you so desperately crave are staring you in the face, right here in your own neighbourhood." So, with The Captain's words still resonating for me to this day, I set forth from my front door every day to discover the secrets that this world has to offer. I'm taking you with me this time though ... so let me lead you by the hand and take you on a little walk around your Emperor's enclave, way out West in my Celtic retreat.