The Worst Thing You've Seen in Kids Football

[londonblue]

I watched my eldest son play for his Sunday league team yesterday, and saw some things I've never seen before in a kids football match. Bear in mind this is under 12s.

Firstly, the other team were huge. The irony being that their goalkeeper was probably their smallest player. Even when a kid is tall you can see in his face that he's young, but these guys didn't even look young. On top of that, at half time my son told me that one of their players had called him a "****ing *******", and that they kept calling his team gay.

IMO, being called gay shouldn't really be seen as an insult, you either are or aren't and it's no big deal one way or the other. But it is still homophobic abuse so I mentioned it to the team manager, who mentioned it to the referee. (The referee had already given my son's team a penalty that had to be re-taken because one of the opposition team shouted out just as the kick was taken. The 2nd attempt was scored.)

So, just before the 2nd half, the referee called the opposition team over and I was just about close enough to hear him say that if there was any more of that they'd be off. Later on in the 2nd half the referee gave my son's team a 2nd penalty for a blatant trip. As the penalty was taken (and scored) one of the opposition forwards squared up and starting pushing one of my son's team mates. The ref couldn't see it, obviously, but I was concerned enough to try to catch his attention, although he didn't hear me.

And then came the pièce de résistance: one of their players obviously said something, and the ref sent him off. I was genuinely shocked by that, mainly because the ref had the courage of his convictions to send a 12/13 year old off.

(BTW my son's team won 3-2 with only 11 players and and complete rookie in goal as their only goalkeeper wasn't available. At this age you're allowed rolling subs and the other team made 8 subs in the 1st half.)

Anyone got any similar stories?

 

[kaymac]

Sadly yes. In my time as parent spectator of my two lads teams, and later as a team manager, I saw and heard too many things that had no place on a football pitch at any age group. Eventually gave up my involvement after being threatened with physical violence by an opposing manager.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Reminds me of a letter in Viz...

How comes Dr Dre can use the N word 138 times on one album and still win a MOBO award yet when I used it once at my sons under 8 football match we were asked to leave the pitch and told we were no longer welcome.

 

[Willis]

My sons team who include a few black and mixed race players, endured racist comments and monkey noises from the opposition throughout a u13 game last season. All quite discreet as the referee apparently didn’t notice anything, but the kids all did. It was only mentioned to the manager at the end of the game. I would never expect to experienced such disgraceful behaviour at an adults game, let alone a youth fixture. For a team to be doing this, and not just an individual, I find it hard to believe it is anything but learnt behaviour. The opposition manager must be aware of it, and if he is, he must condone it.

I have since heard that the team and manager had previously been kicked out of another club. The league are currently investigating them for other incidents. As much as I am a huge supporter of youth and grassroots sports, I hope they are kicked out of the league and the manager is never allowed to manage a team again.

Of course the saddest part of this is the kids this was aimed at. How do you explain this behaviour to a 12/13 yo? It’s difficult enough doing so to their teammates, whom it wasn’t directed at but had to witness it. My sons team are a very close group and I am sure it is this camaraderie and togetherness that has helped them endure what I sincerely hope no child (or person for that matter) ever has to experience.

 

[dannypav]

Sadly yes. In my time as parent spectator of my two lads teams, and later as a team manager, I saw and heard too many things that had no place on a football pitch at any age group. Eventually gave up my involvement after being threatened with physical violence by an opposing manager.

I ran a team for 4 years ( U10-U13 ).
The kids were fine ( on both sides usually ) , but the hassle I got from parents ( opposition and own ) was the reason I gave up in the end.
I don't agree with the new approach at some levels of the game being non-competitive and the score not counting , because I think learning how to take defeat is a good 'life lesson' to learn early , but the 'win at all costs' from some parents was frankly ridiculous and put too much pressure on their own kids.
Yes , we wanted to win , but it really wasn't the end of the world if we lost and listening to the kids after , they had generally 'moved on' straight away whilst the parents were still seething.

With regards to specific incidents that stay with me.
We were involved in a penalty shoot out in the Essex Cup , and when our first taker missed.
The parents of the opposition cheered loudly , soon followed by their kids.
Now missing a penalty is tough , but when you're 10 or 11 it's very tough and I instantly saw our players hurt.
Before they could take their first kick , I asked the ref for a moment.
I took my players to the side of the pitch and to their parents and said 'loudly' ( so the opposition heard ) that I was happy for them to celebrate if we score , but would not accept cheering if the opposition miss - it just didn't sit well.
They all agreed and kept their word ( to be fair some of the opposition parents also apologised ).
I guess it was instinctive rather than malicious , and I'm ok with it in the pro game as fans will be over zealous , but in kids football it just seemed too much.

We won by the way.

 

[Supa Shrimpa]

Well...where do I start ? I've been involved in kids footy for many many years and I could tell you some stories that'll make your toes curl. In summary, I just think it's getting worse as standards in society are worsening. The professional game isn't helping either, with the rewards of fame and huge salaries (if you make it to the top) and the constant cheating that goes unpunished.

I would like to see the respective FA's getting much tougher on teams, coaches, parents etc that have a history of poor behaviour. It doesn't happen in other sports, so why should we allow it to happen in ours ?

 

[RobM]

Worst thing in kid's football? Parents!

 

[kaymac]

Yep, parents were always a nightmare, more so those with kids playing in the minis leagues. Verbal abuse of refs and linos plus shouting at their kids to licks lumps out of the opposition was rife.

 

[Supa Shrimpa]

Worst thing in kid's football? Parents!

I wonder if there were less problems when the kids were playing during Covid, with only one parent allowed per child ? I'd like to see the stats.

 

[Dave Smiths Love Child]

Yep, parents were always a nightmare, more so those with kids playing in the minis leagues. Verbal abuse of refs and linos plus shouting at their kids to licks lumps out of the opposition was rife.

Normally the fat dads, who have never played the game, and try to through their kids

 

[kaymac]

Found dads and mums equally bad, usually the same old teams that had the gobby parents. Recall one dad shout at his lad (in the minis) not to keep chickening out when challenging the keeper but just kick him in the head! Said keeper was my younger son and at that time he wore glasses…..

 

[londonblue]

I watched my eldest son play for his Sunday league team yesterday, and saw some things I've never seen before in a kids football match. Bear in mind this is under 12s.

Firstly, the other team were huge. The irony being that their goalkeeper was probably their smallest player. Even when a kid is tall you can see in his face that he's young, but these guys didn't even look young. On top of that, at half time my son told me that one of their players had called him a "****ing *******", and that they kept calling his team gay.

IMO, being called gay shouldn't really be seen as an insult, you either are or aren't and it's no big deal one way or the other. But it is still homophobic abuse so I mentioned it to the team manager, who mentioned it to the referee. (The referee had already given my son's team a penalty that had to be re-taken because one of the opposition team shouted out just as the kick was taken. The 2nd attempt was scored.)

So, just before the 2nd half, the referee called the opposition team over and I was just about close enough to hear him say that if there was any more of that they'd be off. Later on in the 2nd half the referee gave my son's team a 2nd penalty for a blatant trip. As the penalty was taken (and scored) one of the opposition forwards squared up and starting pushing one of my son's team mates. The ref couldn't see it, obviously, but I was concerned enough to try to catch his attention, although he didn't hear me.

And then came the pièce de résistance: one of their players obviously said something, and the ref sent him off. I was genuinely shocked by that, mainly because the ref had the courage of his convictions to send a 12/13 year old off.

(BTW my son's team won 3-2 with only 11 players and and complete rookie in goal as their only goalkeeper wasn't available. At this age you're allowed rolling subs and the other team made 8 subs in the 1st half.)

Anyone got any similar stories?

An update on this: a couple of days ago I looked at the league table for this season and found this same team have:

Played 3
Won 1
Drawn 1
Points 0

I asked my son why. Apparently they've been caught playing overage players.

 

[RobM]

I used to referee kids. One lot, ubder 11 apparently. All 6 feet, bear
ds, muscles ? .... And that was just their mums!

 

[Supa Shrimpa]

I've just returned to it, and teams and managers are taking it FAR too seriously. It's supposed to be fun for the kids...not win at all cost. I think another big issue is all these (paid for) academies run by the professional clubs. They are signing up thousands of kids that have no chance of getting into the main academy, and just playing with their emotions.

 

[* ORM *]

there is a whole industry out here of ‘trainers’ making pot loads out of gullible parents.

Nothing worse than seeing 6,7 and 8 year old kids doing warm up exercises and then being told tactics. All they need is a ball, a few ball basics, then some small sided games.

 

[Yorkshire Blue]

there is a whole industry out here of ‘trainers’ making pot loads out of gullible parents.

Nothing worse than seeing 6,7 and 8 year old kids doing warm up exercises and then being told tactics. All they need is a ball, a few ball basics, then some small sided games.

I’d have thought you were a walking (hobbling?) advert for teaching kids to warm up. Of course it is something that should be ingrained into them from an early age. Kids should get a mix of proper coaching and unstructured play. The problem is more the kids who only get the structured training and don’t get time to just kick a ball about with their mates.

 

[* ORM *]

I’d have thought you were a walking (hobbling?) advert for teaching kids to warm up. Of course it is something that should be ingrained into them from an early age. Kids should get a mix of proper coaching and unstructured play. The problem is more the kids who only get the structured training and don’t get time to just kick a ball about with their mates.

Proper coaching at that age is ball skills kids at that age do not need to warm up at all 12-13 is about the age formal warm ups need to be introduced.

Our season was due to start on Wednesday, scuppered by a typhoon. I’m raring to go again and yes I warm up!

 

[davewebbsbrain]

So many kick offs in the 3 years my son played football
One game, when it was under 14's, one of the opposition players older brothers was running the line. One of their players fouled one of our players by the touchline and while our player was on the floor, the lad running the line told the opposition player to stamp on our player.

I immediately told the lino to behave himself and within seconds his dad was in my face telling me to come to the car park with him so he could sort me out away from the game. Of course I declined but also pointed out that I could understand why his son was telling their player to stamp on our player. What a great role model

 

[Ricky Otto]

My lad plays for Chelmsford city in the Brentwood Alliance league. Seems like the kids pretty much echo the parents, you get pushy loud parents on the sidelines then you get horrible kids who are bad losers and play dirty. Dylan is mixed race and pretty much every team we play is ethnically diverse so we have never experienced racism. We had a kid the other week who scored an own goal, was obviously upset about it so started a fight with one of our boys and then when he was taken off started tell our players from the sideline that he would break their legs, this is under11s! We come up against some really good players and some who look very big for their age, although i'm sure they are just big and don't suspect any foul play. Last week we played Aveley who had a lad called Sodje playing for them, I did wonder if he was from the famous footballing family? He was a big strong, quick lad and caused us issues! They were a good team and it was our 1st loss of the season but they were also great sports as well and stood out as an example of what you'd want your team to be like, excellence in both play and sportsmanship.

We play teams from Corringham and rougher areas etc but I think the worst teams are the Brentwood ones, rich families in range rovers who think their kids deserve to be playing for professional clubs, putting on far too much pressure and caring far more about results than their kids development. I'm sure they think they are creating "winners". Glad Dylan is in a team where he is really developing as a player whilst being a good sport and most importantly he absolutely loves playing and has no pressure on his shoulders, like it should be for a 10yr old.