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OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
50,767
Location
Benfleet
SOUTHEND EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

League One Colchester United by qbmonarchsfc (U13916250) 20 July 2009



A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Southend
in the early hours of this morning.
It's epicentre was in the Roots Hall area of the town.
Victims were seen wandering around muttering "faaaakinell".
The earthquake devestated the area causing about 30 pounds worth of damage. Severall vintage caravans were damaged beyond repair and both the towns computers went down.
Radio Southend reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were trying to come to terms that something interesting had happened in Southend.
One resident Britney Mercedes Smith,a 17 year old mother of 3 said "I'd just had had my first spiff of the day when the earth moved,my first thoughts were ,wow this is good stuff".
Apparently,looting ,mugging,and car thefts were unaffected and carried on as usual.
The Red Cross has so far managed to ship in 4,000 cases of Sunny Delight,but need your help with the following:

Clothing; Anything with a Primark label,
Fila or Burrberry baseball caps,
Kappa tracksuit tops,
Shell suits,
White sports socks

Food and Drink: Any microwave meals
Colt 45,or Special Brew

Cash: 22p buys a biro for filling in benifit claims.
75p buys chips and a fizzy drink.

BREAKING NEWS: RESCUE WORKERS FOUND A YOUNG GIRL IN THE RUBBLE COVERED IN RASPBERRY ALCO POP, "WHERE ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM" THEY SAID ,"WESTCLIFFE" SAID THE GIRL,"BUT WHATS THAT TO DO WITH YOU?"

Southend supporters were upbeat about the devistation and said that they would rise from the ashes,Colchester got out of the conference so why should'nt we.
 
They can't even spell "spliff"/"spiff", "shouldn't"/"should'nt" or punctuate!
 
I know, old news takes a long time to travel obviously - they're all wetting themselves over it though!
 
I know, old news takes a long time to travel obviously - they're all wetting themselves over it though!
It's taken them 10 years to translate it to farmer and learn how to read
 
SOUTHEND EARTHQUAKE APPEAL

League One Colchester United by qbmonarchsfc (U13916250) 20 July 2009



A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Southend
in the early hours of this morning.
It's epicentre was in the Roots Hall area of the town.
Victims were seen wandering around muttering "faaaakinell".
The earthquake devestated the area causing about 30 pounds worth of damage. Severall vintage caravans were damaged beyond repair and both the towns computers went down.
Radio Southend reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were trying to come to terms that something interesting had happened in Southend.
One resident Britney Mercedes Smith,a 17 year old mother of 3 said "I'd just had had my first spiff of the day when the earth moved,my first thoughts were ,wow this is good stuff".
Apparently,looting ,mugging,and car thefts were unaffected and carried on as usual.
The Red Cross has so far managed to ship in 4,000 cases of Sunny Delight,but need your help with the following:

Clothing; Anything with a Primark label,
Fila or Burrberry baseball caps,
Kappa tracksuit tops,
Shell suits,
White sports socks

Food and Drink: Any microwave meals
Colt 45,or Special Brew

Cash: 22p buys a biro for filling in benifit claims.
75p buys chips and a fizzy drink.

BREAKING NEWS: RESCUE WORKERS FOUND A YOUNG GIRL IN THE RUBBLE COVERED IN RASPBERRY ALCO POP, "WHERE ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM" THEY SAID ,"WESTCLIFFE" SAID THE GIRL,"BUT WHATS THAT TO DO WITH YOU?"

Southend supporters were upbeat about the devistation and said that they would rise from the ashes,Colchester got out of the conference so why should'nt we.

Don't wear Primark;
Don't wear Fila or like Burberry;
Don't wear Kappa;
Never touch a shell suit

Don't need a microwave when you have a mum!
No need for Colt 45 or special brew

Don't need a biro as I have a job;
Crisps and a fizzy drink.... mmmm

:):)

But I heard there was also an Earthquake in C*lchester and caused about £3million pounds worth of improvements!
 
In all fairness, having lived there for the past four years, I can say that Colchester as a town is far better than Southend.
 
In all fairness, having lived there for the past four years, I can say that Colchester as a town is far better than Southend.

Expect a lot of red and a lot of abuse!
 
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