Things you would never hear...

[SUFC-3lliot]

A rugby commentator say:

"...and its a scrum, a chance for the players to exchange kisses and phone numbers."

"...England VS Samoa, a team of rank amateurs... against Samoa"

"...now watch this ball very carefully because the ball is SUCH AN UNUSUAL SHAPE IT COULD GO ANYWHERE"

-Courtesy of "Mock The Week...Again"

A 3lliot Original Joke:

A bloke fancies a girl, but she has a boyfriend. He offers her £1000 for sex, the stipulation was that he put a £1000 on the floor, she bent over and once she picked it all up he would stop.

After consulting with her boyfriend they agree that she could do it to gain the money.

8 Hours later the boyfriend phones back, "Do you have the money"? Out of breath, she replies "No, the b*stard is using coins!"

 

[HUTTON]

Like the way Mock The Week is in white writing

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Randome Thread.............

 

[Billy Bests boot laces]

A FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR

And Southend United go into this match having not conceded a goal for 8 games.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did we not go 7-8 games with clean sheets a year or two back?

 

[MK Shrimper]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did we not go 7-8 games with clean sheets a year or two back?

We won 8 on the trot in our promotion year....doubt it was clean sheets....

 

[Firestorm]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but did we not go 7-8 games with clean sheets a year or two back?

We did over a 1000 minutes at home without concedeing in 80-81, Mervyn Cawston being the keeper at the time

 

[Pubey]

i read a good joke today...


did you hear about the scarecrow who won an award?
he was out standing in his field!

 

[MK Shrimper]

 

[Bluesmanager]

We did over a 1000 minutes at home without concedeing in 80-81, Mervyn Cawston being the keeper at the time

OK... Definately more than a year or two back...

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Scott orderd a salad!!!!!

 

[McLovin]

Scott orderd a salad!!!!!

 

[londonblue]

We did over a 1000 minutes at home without concedeing in 80-81, Mervyn Cawston being the keeper at the time

No we didn't. It was 985.

Just call me sad!

 

[Firestorm]

No we didn't. It was 985.

Just call me sad!

Bollox !! Got my two fave stats muddled up (Just over 1000 was the attendance at home to Halifax for our lowest league gate)

Trust me to ***k up the only one I didn't ratify before posting.....

 

[canveyshrimper]

OK... Definately more than a year or two back...

Seems like yesterday.

 

[Bluesmanager]

Seems like yesterday.

To you maybe, for me it's a bloody lifetime...