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DTS

The Business
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
16,173
Location
In a world of my own.
Right - Not going to talk about the game as there are a million threads on that however there are some other points I would like too touch on.

Had a few drinks in the spread before the game as I have come to enjoy. Served by the ever friendly McNasty. Its fast becoming a Shrimperzone haven in there and I had a good chat with Callan, Mr Stingfellow and the AAS boys. All good banter.

Cockles is Back was also in there looking fighting fit. He told me that he was hiding in there from Friedlm Holm who had earlier called him a knob.

After a few of the amber nectres I went to the gents as you do to drain the weasle. As I got in there an old boy who sat by the bar (Sure McNasty can name him) walked past me and proceeded to chuck up the entire contents of his stomach up. As a good citizen I advised Ken of this and he went to check.

I was sure he was going to need hospital treatment. In fact all he needed was another pint which he then proceeded to drink. Possibly one of the best drinking comebacks I have ever seen.

Next the East Stand. Last night was my second ever visit to the East. My last time was a game vs Middlesborough in the mid 1990's so had quiet an open mind.

Got to say what a freak show in there. I honestly felt like Dad of DtS and I had been dropped into the land of the living dead. Everyone around us appeared to be on a care in the community day trip. Daggers Kev looked quite sensible compared to this lot round me. Possible exception was Yorkshire Blue and his mates (And that is only a possible exception).

We had seats almost next to the dug out and I have got to say I hated it. I always imagined the players really cared and got stuck in. The penalty save which made me leap in the air with joy didnt even get a reaction from the miserable Hooper, Richards and Gower - Most disapointing lads. Brush and Tilly in comparison went mental.

Loads of tools around me giving Tilly stick and you know that he can hear it. Dont be knobs lads.

Worse was to come from Gower. During a stop in play I decided to look at the bench. As I looked up the G-Man had his finger wedged up his nose. Nothing from with that - We all have to do it.

What I was about to witness was unacceptable. G-Man pulled his finger out his nostrills and proceeded to casually eat the evidence. I winced in pain behind Dad of DtS who was equally outraged. Is this what we expect from professionals players. There were many young kids by the tunnel. I have written to the club today to complain.

We had a good view of the directors box where the 8ft giant that is Zoltan was there. Also in attendance was Mrs Zoltan who was pretty small. In fact she was smaller than Zoltan's nose which worried me. I can only assume they use a sytem of pullys and weights when geting down to action as something dosent quite work there.

All in all a good work and a hatrick from Lee Bradbury that comes around less frequently that a lunar eclispse.

The only downside is that after there were some insavory scenes at the 4000 strong mob from the Cheltenham Murder Squad wanted revenge for Collis's last minute save. Luckily I was with the old man so we didnt get invloved but I hear they were naughty.

Top fun and all for £10 - Roll on Daggers.
 
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Pubey

Guest
hahahaha quality report. got to agree about sitting in the east (at least near the dugout), i would hate to be in there and on the receiving end of the abuse that gets hurled.. or near g-man going mining for a morsel
 

Rayleigh boy

Director⭐
Joined
Nov 1, 2006
Messages
4,297
"Brush and Tilly in comparison went mental."

that is re-assurring -

great report - laughed out loud twice - workmate had to ask what the matter was - can't explain it - the disiilusionment with Gower is so painful to hear about
 

I 8 COLU

First XI
Joined
Aug 21, 2006
Messages
306
Worse was to come from Gower. During a stop in play I decided to look at the bench. As I looked up the G-Man had his finger wedged up his nose. Nothing from with that - We all have to do it.

What I was about to witness was unacceptable. G-Man pulled his finger out his nostrills and proceeded to casually eat the evidence. I winced in pain behind Dad of DtS who was equally outraged. Is this what we expect from professionals players. There were many young kids by the tunnel. I have written to the club today to complain.

.[/QUOTE]
So from now on will Gower be known as the bogie man?
And was you incensed at him eating it himself, and not offering it around to others first.:D
 

seany t

President
Joined
May 11, 2006
Messages
3,566
What I was about to witness was unacceptable. G-Man pulled his finger out his nostrills and proceeded to casually eat the evidence. I winced in pain behind Dad of DtS who was equally outraged. Is this what we expect from professionals players.

He's obviously tried the hot dogs and wanted a more nutritious option...
 

EastStandBlue

Life President
Joined
May 29, 2005
Messages
15,485
Wrong side of the East Stand Dave, More fun to be had closer to the away Dug Out...
 

soul DJ

Youth Team
Joined
Oct 31, 2003
Messages
171
Location
Wickford, Essex
i was in the east for the 1st time for ages, sat infront of the loudes fattest person i have ever met, he and his 2 mates spent the whole game shauting rather then talking, the only changes in volume was when they need to pass their wisdom onto the players, this was about the volume of concorde.

His phone rang just after the penalty save, this conversation was at a normal level, which did surprise me.

during the game they discussed such nuggets as

"the pitch is not flat"
"woman should not come to football"

i had to hold my tongue, as 2 argument in one week is too much for a man of my age
 

Cricko2

Guest
The West is the place to be. all the nice people get there and Al and Ben to...................Great report Dave,but ermmm who is Stingfellow:cool:
 

Cricko2

Guest
i was in the east for the 1st time for ages, sat infront of the loudest fattest person i have ever met, he and his 2 mates spent the whole game shauting rather then talking, the only changes in volume was when they need to pass their wisdom onto the players, this was about the volume of concorde.

His phone rang just after the penalty save, this conversation was at a normal level, which did surprise me.

during the game they discussed such nuggets as

"the pitch is not flat"
"woman should not come to football"

i had to hold my tongue, as 2 argument in one week is too much for a man of my age

It's ok Ldnfasto normally goes in the South ...:p
 

Flaiming Moe

First XI
Joined
Jul 26, 2007
Messages
361
Location
Rochford
Was also in the East last night, saw and heard some amazing things.

1. The nerd in his late teens in the yellow seats who insisted on shouting "pass it, pass it" all game long and got players names wrong all night. (we moved seats at half time as it was becoming increasingly annoying)

2. The dear old chap in the flat cap who left in the 1st period of Extra Time to avoid missing his last bus home (a number of people offered him a lift home but he declined)

3. The guy clearly worse for wear who was attempting to leave the ground shortly before the end of the game, with three staggered and failed attempts to use the stairs (much to the amusement of many).

4. The numerous hookie Flags used by the Assistant Referee's that had clearly fallen off the back of a lorry and fell apart when waved in the usual pathetic manner.
 

ldnfatso

Red Rep King!
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
6,390
Location
Southend
first time i have sat in East for ages. Gotta say, it was sh!t! Got fed up with getting up and down every 5 mins when everyone in front stood up. GIVE ME BACK MY USUAL SEAT!!!!:fury: :fury:
 

DTS

The Business
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
16,173
Location
In a world of my own.
:thump:
first time i have sat in East for ages. Gotta say, it was sh!t! Got fed up with getting up and down every 5 mins when everyone in front stood up. GIVE ME BACK MY USUAL SEAT!!!!:fury: :fury:

In fairness Steve the young boys that look like young girls and get hot dogs every minute of the game are very annoying.
 

Jam_Man

Life President
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
25,545
Location
Southend
Hold on, you lot are missing something here.

The East Stand may have been full of nutters and freaks, thats because you South Upper and lowers were in there!

The East Stand is where its at and its clearly the best stand. Its very civilised normally and certainly consists of the better class of supporter.

No nutters there at all. No way. Even the bloke in the east blacks who sounds like he has false teeth and shouts nonsense as soon as we we go a goal down.

Get back to the South Stand all of you.
 
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