DTS
The Business
I had the most unusual experience on my life last night.
Went up to Forest with my boss (Larger stakeholder for you Naps) who is a really top bloke. He is a mad Forest fan but was really gracious in defeat.
I was thinking of going up my coach and staying at my mate Dom's house in Southend but this was not ideal for me as got work early in the AM and would cost me a adult at peak time from Southend - London which aint going to be cheap.
Anyway the boss kindly said he would give me a lift both was and I could kip at his house (Sidcup) which suited me great.
Anyway got to Forest - We all know result but after the game we decided to stop at services for some food. This gave me the first indication of what was to come.
As I tried to undo my belt buckle I realised the mechanism to release the buckle was missing. Its a G-Star Raw belt and whilst I think it looks the part its not the most functional. I had popper flys rather than a zip but I managed to get the old boy out for a lash.
Got back to the boss's at 1am and went straight to the spare room. The boss has a one suite and I was dying for a pony having consumed a meat and potato pie, a sausage roll, a sandwich, some crisps and a yorkie. I was sure that with some fidling I could get the buckle to release my jeans but despite trying for 45 mins I could not undo my trousers.
This in effect meant I was trapped in my own jeans. I was dyng for a pony but I had no way to get my trousers down. I am not as slim as I used to be so there was no way to get the trousers down. No worries I thought I will just settle down for bed. Of course I cant get out of them at all so I couldn't get into my sleeping shorts. This means I had to sleep in my diesel jeans which again was so uncomfy.
I woke up this morning and the need for a pony was unbareable. My boss knocked on the door and told me there was a towel outside for a shower - But again I cant get into the shower as I am trapped in my jeans. My gut is hurting by now and the pain is really unbareable. I turned the shower on and wet the towels a bit but basically I didnt have a shower and couldnt wash my lower half so I am now feeling like a tramp.
Then the boss calls me downstairs as his Mrs has done me breakfast. I cant really say No as he knows I can eat all day and never stop and I dont want to tell him that I am full and burtsing for a dump so I consume 4 Scottish pancakes whatever they are???
The walk from his house to Sidcup station is ten mins max but I felt every step. I am in serious discomfort and starting to panic that the jeans may now be part of me. I have not had a wash and had no sleep as cant get comfy in bed. Things are not going well and the train journey seems to take a lifetime. I can feel vessels popping in my head with the pain.
Finally we arrive at London Bridge - Its a 2 mins walk to the office and I feel every step. Just as we get close the boss who has the keys as I left mine in the office says "Let me treat you to a coffee show there are no hard feelings". I wanted to cry .
Twenty mins later (Thank you Costa Coffee:finger: ) we get into the office. My plan is to discretly nick the scissors from my assitants desk and cut the belt off. The only problem is unbeknown to me there is a metal strip running through the centre of the belt which holds it together. My only option was to call for back up so i asked Ben from the office to help me hack through the wire.
It took about 15 mins but finally I was free. I sprinted down the stairs to the ground floor set to burst. As I put my hand on the handle the relief was immense....Until I realised it was bloody locked and Karl the German from a company downstairs was in there doing his hair and teeth. "Wont be a min" cried Karl. I was on the verge of collapse.
Needless to say I have now been and feel a lot better but I would like to know if any other Szoners have been trapped in a item of clothing before.
Went up to Forest with my boss (Larger stakeholder for you Naps) who is a really top bloke. He is a mad Forest fan but was really gracious in defeat.
I was thinking of going up my coach and staying at my mate Dom's house in Southend but this was not ideal for me as got work early in the AM and would cost me a adult at peak time from Southend - London which aint going to be cheap.
Anyway the boss kindly said he would give me a lift both was and I could kip at his house (Sidcup) which suited me great.
Anyway got to Forest - We all know result but after the game we decided to stop at services for some food. This gave me the first indication of what was to come.
As I tried to undo my belt buckle I realised the mechanism to release the buckle was missing. Its a G-Star Raw belt and whilst I think it looks the part its not the most functional. I had popper flys rather than a zip but I managed to get the old boy out for a lash.
Got back to the boss's at 1am and went straight to the spare room. The boss has a one suite and I was dying for a pony having consumed a meat and potato pie, a sausage roll, a sandwich, some crisps and a yorkie. I was sure that with some fidling I could get the buckle to release my jeans but despite trying for 45 mins I could not undo my trousers.
This in effect meant I was trapped in my own jeans. I was dyng for a pony but I had no way to get my trousers down. I am not as slim as I used to be so there was no way to get the trousers down. No worries I thought I will just settle down for bed. Of course I cant get out of them at all so I couldn't get into my sleeping shorts. This means I had to sleep in my diesel jeans which again was so uncomfy.
I woke up this morning and the need for a pony was unbareable. My boss knocked on the door and told me there was a towel outside for a shower - But again I cant get into the shower as I am trapped in my jeans. My gut is hurting by now and the pain is really unbareable. I turned the shower on and wet the towels a bit but basically I didnt have a shower and couldnt wash my lower half so I am now feeling like a tramp.
Then the boss calls me downstairs as his Mrs has done me breakfast. I cant really say No as he knows I can eat all day and never stop and I dont want to tell him that I am full and burtsing for a dump so I consume 4 Scottish pancakes whatever they are???
The walk from his house to Sidcup station is ten mins max but I felt every step. I am in serious discomfort and starting to panic that the jeans may now be part of me. I have not had a wash and had no sleep as cant get comfy in bed. Things are not going well and the train journey seems to take a lifetime. I can feel vessels popping in my head with the pain.
Finally we arrive at London Bridge - Its a 2 mins walk to the office and I feel every step. Just as we get close the boss who has the keys as I left mine in the office says "Let me treat you to a coffee show there are no hard feelings". I wanted to cry .
Twenty mins later (Thank you Costa Coffee:finger: ) we get into the office. My plan is to discretly nick the scissors from my assitants desk and cut the belt off. The only problem is unbeknown to me there is a metal strip running through the centre of the belt which holds it together. My only option was to call for back up so i asked Ben from the office to help me hack through the wire.
It took about 15 mins but finally I was free. I sprinted down the stairs to the ground floor set to burst. As I put my hand on the handle the relief was immense....Until I realised it was bloody locked and Karl the German from a company downstairs was in there doing his hair and teeth. "Wont be a min" cried Karl. I was on the verge of collapse.
Needless to say I have now been and feel a lot better but I would like to know if any other Szoners have been trapped in a item of clothing before.
