When insects attack!

[Mad Cyril]

Has anyone had a run in with a giant grasshopper recently?

The reason I ask is that I woke up last night with something moving in my hair.

I jumped up and turned on the light only to see a massive bright green insect jump across the room.

I went downstairs to get a glass to catch it but as I ran up the stairs the grasshopper attacked again and leapt a good six feet straight into my face.

Luckily the impact seemed to stun it and I caught it in a pint glass.

I have never seen such a big insect in the UK. It was a good 12 cm in length.

Has anyone else been attacked by one of these monsters?

 

[McNasty]

Only when I'm drunk.

 

[The Artful Shrimper]

This reminds me of the critter that appeared in my bedroom.
I heard a clicking noise, horrible sound and then found the specimen.
It looked like a scarab beetle, sandy coloured with thorns on its legs which had peculiar scarlet spirals around them. It had entwined itself in my girlfriends net curtains.
Not wanting to squish it in case I found out I was Buddhist (anything's possible after discovering a line of my geneaology was French !

) I went downstairs got a glass and covered it. However the thing was so entwined in the net curtain it wouldn't walk out from the threads.
I then got a pair of scissors and cut around the beast and threw it and a perfect circle of curtain out of the window.
Though I ruffled the nets up so as the offending hole was obscured, however a womans psychic intuition soon discovered the anomoly to her curtains and I had to confess.

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

Regularly out here on the Costa Blanca; add in the six-inch Tarantulas in the swimming pool and the two foot long lizards in the naya and the UK is definately moving towards a Mediterranean climate ...

 

[Smudger]

Anyone ever seen a "Park Town Prawn"?? Supposedly the meanest looking and toughest insect on the planet.....

 

[South Bank Hank]

Quote[/b] (Smudger @ July 21 2006,09:49)]Anyone ever seen a "Park Town Prawn"?? Supposedly the meanest looking and toughest insect on the planet.....

Supposedly they make nice pets...

 

[Jai]

Quote[/b] (South Bank Hank @ July 21 2006,11:17)]

Quote[/b] (Smudger @ July 21 2006,09:49)]Anyone ever seen a "Park Town Prawn"?? Supposedly the meanest looking and toughest insect on the planet.....

Supposedly they make nice pets...

Christ - I'd sh!t myself if I saw one of those underneath my bed, not try to pet it... you wouldn't see me for dust!

 

[South Bank Hank]

In reality, they're only about 4-5cm in length!! (Thank GOD!!)

 

[Jai]

I stand by my original statement

 

[South Bank Hank]

Quote[/b] (Jai @ July 21 2006,12:03)]I stand by my original statement  

I agree mate!!

 

[Winkle]

In kos once, I encounterd the Arnie of all spiders in our ground apartment! At least 3inches by 3 inches with thick muscley legs, I used a whole can of insest repellent on it and it didnt even budge an inch! Plan b came into force with me deciding to hit it with a large broom and having taken the swing of a lumberjack, promptly missed it entierly, to which it scappered straight over my foot. I admit to screaming like a girl and ashamidly legged it outside...Urrrrrrrrrrrukkkk!

 

[McNasty]

Quote[/b] (Winkle @ July 21 2006,14:41)]In kos once, I encounterd the Arnie of all spiders in our ground apartment! At least 3inches by 3 inches with thick muscley legs, I used a whole can of insest repellent on it and it didnt even budge an inch! Plan b came into force with me deciding to hit it with a large broom and having taken the swing of a lumberjack, promptly missed it entierly, to which it scappered straight over my foot. I admit to screaming like a girl and ashamidly legged it outside...Urrrrrrrrrrrukkkk!

In 2000 I was in Kos and we met Arnie's brother. He didn't stand a chance against Mrs Mcnasty and her amazing performing frying pan. She battered him to death while I stood outside , looking on from a safe distance.

 

[DTS]

Once I was attacked by a swarm of lady birds when holidaying at my Nan & Grandads in Kings Lynn. I know they sounds pretty tame but there must have been about 10,000 of em I reckon.

I ran at my Nan as they seemed to engulf me and she ran away. Made a break for my Grandads car and a few hundred of the ******* got in.

Took us a good hour to smash em all and then my Grandad moan as had Lady Birds Guts all over the back windows.

To this day I still hate those Bastards.....

 

[Winkle]

Quote[/b] (Winkle @ July 21 2006,14:41)]In kos once, I encounterd the Arnie of all spiders in our ground apartment! At least 3inches by 3 inches with thick muscley legs, I used a whole can of insest repellent on it and it didnt even budge an inch! Plan b came into force with me deciding to hit it with a large broom and having taken the swing of a lumberjack, promptly missed it entierly, to which it scappered straight over my foot. I admit to screaming like a girl and ashamidly legged it outside...Urrrrrrrrrrrukkkk!

Having wrote this yesterday, I never thought for one minute that de ja vue could strike twice! Sitting at home last evening on the sofa with the missus,I heard what I thought was a buzzing kind off flappy wingy sound around where I was sitting! Just as I was nearing the end of my pre recorded programme (LOST) something I can only describe as a terradactil, landed on my head and proceeded to do its impression of Michael Flatley down my spine! I was up quicker than buster blood vessell at a pork pie convention, arms flayling around and squeling like a big whussy.The resulting attack turned out to be a full frontal barrage by a flying scarab beetle of which I had to hit it seven times with a very hard cushion! My wifes involvment in all this was to sob with tears of laughter being unable to look at me in the eye all evening. I F*****g hate summer nights!

 

[Bluesmanager]

Don't you just hate the way they take advantage of your windows being open and fly in in their thousands?

 

[Greenelk]

Quote[/b] (Dave the Shrimper @ July 21 2006,16:32)]Once I was attacked by a swarm of lady birds when holidaying at my Nan & Grandads in Kings Lynn. I know they sounds pretty tame but there must have been about 10,000 of em I reckon.

Christ, when I first read that, I thought you had said you were attached by a swarm of lady boys.. now that was an image to scare...

 

[Gremlin]

Quote[/b] (Winkle @ July 22 2006,14:06)]Having wrote this yesterday, I never thought for one minute that de ja vue could strike twice!

Is that supposed to be funny? It is !