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Your Jokes, Strictly for the Pub only.


Life President
Dec 10, 2006
A Boy walks into his parents bedroom and see's his dad having sex with his mum.
''What are you doing ?''
''Making you a brother or sister!'' His dad replies.
''Do her doggy style, I want a puppy.''

Joe is on his last day at work as a postman.
He receives many thank-you cards and monetary gifts along his route.
When he gets to the very last house, he is greeted by a gorgeous housewife, who invites him in for lunch. Joe happily accepts. After lunch, the woman invites him up to the bedroom for some 'desert.' Joe happily accepts again. When they are done, the woman gives him a pound.
Joe asks what the pound is all about.
The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. When I told him that it was your last day at work and we should buy you a gift, he said, 'F**k him -- give him a pound.' The lunch was my idea."

A Husband always insisted on making love in the dark.
After 20 years the wife turns on the light, finds him holding his strap-on.
She goes balistic, "You impotent *******! How could you lie to me all these years?"
Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the end of his willy by a rattlesnake.
"I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town's only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, give it your best ******* for 5-10 minutes and spit out the poison."
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
"What did the doctor say?" the victim asks.
"He says you're gonna die."