My thread, my rules. So there :flamer: :)
-
Welcome to the ShrimperZone forums.
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which only gives you limited access.
Existing Users:.
Please log-in using your existing username and password. If you have any problems, please see below.
New Users:
Join our free community now and gain access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and free. Click here to join.
Fans from other clubs
We welcome and appreciate supporters from other clubs who wish to engage in sensible discussion. Please feel free to join as above but understand that this is a moderated site and those who cannot play nicely will be quickly removed.
Assistance Required
For help with the registration process or accessing your account, please send a note using the Contact us link in the footer, please include your account name. We can then provide you with a new password and verification to get you on the site.
Fastest Conquest
DTS
The Business
canveyshrimper
R.I.P
Bugger, so that's scotched my entry for the mile high club.
Stats
aka Ian Poulter
Back in the summer of 2003 I'd just moved into a house with a mate. My brother came over to stay one evening as we were due to goto Wales the following day to visit some relatives.
Plan for the evening was for me, my bro and my housemate to have a few jars in Billericay followed by a curry and then back home for Phoenix Nights.
We were chatting away in the pub when my bro started going on about a bird he'd been meeting up with and shaging. Impressed that Driver Jnr was finding out ways of the big wide world I joke to him ''She got any mates?''
''I'll see'' he said, anyway he goes off to phone this bird and comes back 5 mins later and says ''shes out with a mate in Upminster and are well up for coming to meet us''
So we arranged to meet up over in Bas Vegas, the three of us waited outside the classy establishment that is Icon & Diva. The girls pulled up in a cab and came over to join us. My brother started talking to one of them I guessed it was the one who he'd been shaging, so it was left to me and my mate to chat to the other one who was a nice tidy little number.
Now my mate had a steady girlfriend at the time but was always up for playing the field, however I'd not had any action for a while and was not gonna end up going home empty handed.
As we went to go into the club my brother got asked for ID, the silly boy didnt have any on him so I gave him my house key and told him to take his bird back home to mine but not my bed.
The three of us then went into the club, I cracked a few jokes etc and she became putty in my hands, my mate knowing his luck would not be in then spotted some of his other mates and went to join them.
We'd only been in the club 30mins (inc queing time) when the bird whispered in my ear ''lets go back to yours'', result but was it ever in doubt.
We got back to my gaff and my brother was busy bu'ing his bird in the lounge so I took mine upstairs to give her a good evening and more importantly christen my new bed.
A while later whilst I was still on the job I heard the front do open and close, I guessed it was my flat mate returning home. Next thing I heard was the lounge door open and the following ''oh sorry................oi get off my sofa''
Classic my house mate had walked in on my brother on the job, first of all apologised for interupting before then realising my bro was banging his bird on his sofa.
Top night out I thought it would be the first of many, however the following evening in Wales in the Llanddewi Brefi (that of little britain fame) local pub I met my fiancee and the rest as they say is history.
So much for those days of free houses, drink and loose women coming back.
Plan for the evening was for me, my bro and my housemate to have a few jars in Billericay followed by a curry and then back home for Phoenix Nights.
We were chatting away in the pub when my bro started going on about a bird he'd been meeting up with and shaging. Impressed that Driver Jnr was finding out ways of the big wide world I joke to him ''She got any mates?''
''I'll see'' he said, anyway he goes off to phone this bird and comes back 5 mins later and says ''shes out with a mate in Upminster and are well up for coming to meet us''
So we arranged to meet up over in Bas Vegas, the three of us waited outside the classy establishment that is Icon & Diva. The girls pulled up in a cab and came over to join us. My brother started talking to one of them I guessed it was the one who he'd been shaging, so it was left to me and my mate to chat to the other one who was a nice tidy little number.
Now my mate had a steady girlfriend at the time but was always up for playing the field, however I'd not had any action for a while and was not gonna end up going home empty handed.
As we went to go into the club my brother got asked for ID, the silly boy didnt have any on him so I gave him my house key and told him to take his bird back home to mine but not my bed.
The three of us then went into the club, I cracked a few jokes etc and she became putty in my hands, my mate knowing his luck would not be in then spotted some of his other mates and went to join them.
We'd only been in the club 30mins (inc queing time) when the bird whispered in my ear ''lets go back to yours'', result but was it ever in doubt.
We got back to my gaff and my brother was busy bu'ing his bird in the lounge so I took mine upstairs to give her a good evening and more importantly christen my new bed.
A while later whilst I was still on the job I heard the front do open and close, I guessed it was my flat mate returning home. Next thing I heard was the lounge door open and the following ''oh sorry................oi get off my sofa''
Classic my house mate had walked in on my brother on the job, first of all apologised for interupting before then realising my bro was banging his bird on his sofa.
Top night out I thought it would be the first of many, however the following evening in Wales in the Llanddewi Brefi (that of little britain fame) local pub I met my fiancee and the rest as they say is history.
So much for those days of free houses, drink and loose women coming back.
Jonny_Stokes
Sir Jonny Of Promotionshire
15 minutes flat. Freshers week, excess of alcohol (and a surfeit of performance, not that I gave a damn!) Never even knew her name...How bally caddish, wot? :o :o :o
chaco27saf
Manager
My personal record is roughly two hours. The night before my first Southend game I was staying at a hostel in London. I had traveled down by myself and got in at about 6pm, so I was just hanging out in the lounge area talking to some of the other guests. I was talking to a group of Australians when I noticed a good looking girl come down the stairs and take a seat by herself in the corner. Naturally, I turned away from the Aussies and took a seat next to her. After about five minutes of talking to her I mentioned that I was going to get something to eat and before I even had a chance to invite her along she jumped out of her chair and said let's go.
We ended up getting some grub at a small place a few minutes walk away and to say that she was incredibly flirtatious the entire time would be an understatement. I probably set a new record for speed eating at this point since I'd been going through a bit of a slump before then and I was a bit anxious to get on with what I hoped was inevitable by that time. So, I was actually a bit disappointed when on the walk back to the hostel we ended up stopping at a bar for a drink. I wasn't even halfway done with my beer before she nearly knocked me off my chair as she was ramming her tongue down my throat.
By this time I was nearly speechless, and I must admit quite confused. I kept wondering to myself if she was drunk, because I definitely have never had a sober girl come onto me so strongly before. She didn't appear drunk and finally I had to tell myself to stop questioning was going on, because the last thing I wanted to do was screw it up!
We left the bar and before I knew it were back at the hostel. I had been ready to get her back for what seemed like ages at this point, but I had somehow managed to forget that I was sharing a room with nine other people. Of course, I was so primed and ready to go at this point an audience wouldn't have bothered me, but she didn't feel the same, and even though she was in a small room, she told me her friend was in there, so we couldn't use it. She had noticed that a couple of the rooms upstairs were vacant, however, so we went to front desk, looked at what keys were still hanging on the wall behind the desk, and then went upstairs and broke into one of the rooms with the good 'ole credit card trick.
So we went inside and proceeded to do what consenting adults do when they find themselves alone in room. Afterwards, I was still pretty much in shock from the events of the entire night, especially the ease of everything, considering that she had not only bought my drinks at the bar but also dinner, when she gave me one last kiss and said that she'd better get back to her room. I had been hoping to spend the entire night in that room, so I tried to convince her to say, telling her that I was sure her friend would understand if she spent the night with me. She looked at me for a moment, and then gave me one last shock. She sighed and admitted that her 'friend' wasn't just her friend, it was actually her boyfriend. Curiosity got the best of me and I asked her why she had hung out with me all night then. She simply replied "I liked your accent" and with that she was gone.
I actually saw her the next morning as I was leaving and she was curled up with some guy on the couch in the lounge. As I walked out the door I could not help but wonder if that was her boyfriend or another random guy, and of course, be happy that I had worn a raincoat the night before, because she hadn't exactly set the bar for her standards very high.
We ended up getting some grub at a small place a few minutes walk away and to say that she was incredibly flirtatious the entire time would be an understatement. I probably set a new record for speed eating at this point since I'd been going through a bit of a slump before then and I was a bit anxious to get on with what I hoped was inevitable by that time. So, I was actually a bit disappointed when on the walk back to the hostel we ended up stopping at a bar for a drink. I wasn't even halfway done with my beer before she nearly knocked me off my chair as she was ramming her tongue down my throat.
By this time I was nearly speechless, and I must admit quite confused. I kept wondering to myself if she was drunk, because I definitely have never had a sober girl come onto me so strongly before. She didn't appear drunk and finally I had to tell myself to stop questioning was going on, because the last thing I wanted to do was screw it up!
We left the bar and before I knew it were back at the hostel. I had been ready to get her back for what seemed like ages at this point, but I had somehow managed to forget that I was sharing a room with nine other people. Of course, I was so primed and ready to go at this point an audience wouldn't have bothered me, but she didn't feel the same, and even though she was in a small room, she told me her friend was in there, so we couldn't use it. She had noticed that a couple of the rooms upstairs were vacant, however, so we went to front desk, looked at what keys were still hanging on the wall behind the desk, and then went upstairs and broke into one of the rooms with the good 'ole credit card trick.
So we went inside and proceeded to do what consenting adults do when they find themselves alone in room. Afterwards, I was still pretty much in shock from the events of the entire night, especially the ease of everything, considering that she had not only bought my drinks at the bar but also dinner, when she gave me one last kiss and said that she'd better get back to her room. I had been hoping to spend the entire night in that room, so I tried to convince her to say, telling her that I was sure her friend would understand if she spent the night with me. She looked at me for a moment, and then gave me one last shock. She sighed and admitted that her 'friend' wasn't just her friend, it was actually her boyfriend. Curiosity got the best of me and I asked her why she had hung out with me all night then. She simply replied "I liked your accent" and with that she was gone.
I actually saw her the next morning as I was leaving and she was curled up with some guy on the couch in the lounge. As I walked out the door I could not help but wonder if that was her boyfriend or another random guy, and of course, be happy that I had worn a raincoat the night before, because she hadn't exactly set the bar for her standards very high.
Perth Bambi
Pinocchio
Not sure about exact timing but was pretty quick.
Coming back from a night out in Malia, me and the lads spy a girl sitting on her own on the floor, very upset.
Me being the gentleman that I am enquire as to what is upsetting the poor lass.
As it turns out she had had a row with her boyfriend.
So after 5 mins of relationship therapy I thought it was only fair to take her upstairs on the balcony and slip it in.
The other lads on here who were slightly more sober will probably be able to give you exact timing as well as confirming that she will an absolute beauty.
Coming back from a night out in Malia, me and the lads spy a girl sitting on her own on the floor, very upset.
Me being the gentleman that I am enquire as to what is upsetting the poor lass.
As it turns out she had had a row with her boyfriend.
So after 5 mins of relationship therapy I thought it was only fair to take her upstairs on the balcony and slip it in.
The other lads on here who were slightly more sober will probably be able to give you exact timing as well as confirming that she will an absolute beauty.
Whale alert!!!
Perth Bambi
Pinocchio
ShrimperZone Sponsors
ShrimperZone - Player Sponsorship
Southend United Away Travel
All At Sea Fanzine
