Rangers - years and years of sectarian bigotry, plus you never meet a handsome hun
Ain't that the truth, they truly are a breed apart!
My 5: -
1) West Ham Utd
Everything about the Spammers winds me up. Their arrogance (both with flouting set rules and the "we won the World Cup" bo**ocks. The "Academy of Football" sign as they come out of the tunnel. The fact the ground is in one of the worst slums of Londonistan and yet still was deemed fit to hold a full England international during the redevelopment of Wembley. Their stupid kit. The fact they attract a lot of knuckle dragging neanderthals who think the could hack it as a casual.
2) Rangers
Echo all the points James raided above, plus there's also no sense of sportsmanship amongst Rangers (players or fans). If Celtic win (or lose come to that) they celebrate in their own parts of town, if Rangers win they have to seek out opposing fans to wind up!
3) Luton Town
My hatred of Luton is probably guided by having a few Watford mates (& experiencing the Herts/Beds derby from the away slum at Kenilworth Rd) but again I have an irrational hatred of them. The plastic pitch & membership card scheme of the 80s, Ricky Hill & Brian Stein, facking David Pleat running across the pitch at Maine Rd in 83 in his beige loafers, the sh*thole of a ground in another urban ghetto, their "are you carrots in disguise?" away-kit, the fact they would do another MK Dons if anywhere would have them, plus they always seem to beat us when it matters.
4) MK Dons
Franchise FC, enough said, plus again they always beat us
5) Gretna
OK, people can say it's an achievement to have gone through 3 championship winning seasons in 3 years to go from Scottish League Div3 to the SPL but lets look at why, again it's the evil in modern-day football, money. I know for a fact they were running on a bigger budget in Div3 than Partick Thistle were in the SPL. Next season will be an embarassment to top-flight football (anywhere in the world) when say for example they have a home midweek game against Inverness Caley Thistle and will attract less than 1,000 supporters!
Honourable mentions go to :-
Ipswich Town & Carlisle United (don't hate them nearly as much now we've won away there)
Birmingham City (for stealing Fry in 93)
Newcastle Utd (best fans in the world, my f**king ar5e, we proved man for man (it's just a phrase female zoners) at Southampton that we have far more passionate & loyal fans. Look at when Brum knocked them out of the FA Cup, as soon as they were 2-0 down & had a man sent off they all went home!
Man Utd/Chelsea/Liverpool/Arsenal/Everton/Spurs - for creating this cartel in football that makes it totally money driven
Rushden & Diamonds - for being an English equivalent of Gretna (so glad they're back in non-league where they belong!)