How do I get out of a "team building" workshop?

[MK Shrimper]

Now in my inbox at work I've just been sent an invite to a team building workshop to be held at a hotel in Coventry (oh, the glamour), starting at 5pm and overnightting until the next day. Now I'd rather jam knitting needles into my eyes than have to be chummy with some of the ****wits I have the misfortune to "work" with. In fact, I can see me going nuclear after a few beers and a few home truths coming out which may not be good for my job "prospects" (or just paying the bills).

So if anyone can come up with a gold plated excuse why I can't do this, I'll massively +rep them time and time again.

 

[Napster]

Youve got the kids that night

You know you're going be really ill that night

Im allergic to the west midlands

 

[EastStandBlue]

Following an incident with an ex-girlfriend who now resides in Coventry, you're not allowed within 10 miles off her and, by an unbelievable stroke of bad luck, she now lives next door to the hotel in question.

 

[TrueBlue]

whats the date of this?

 

[MK Shrimper]

whats the date of this?

12/13th May.

 

[Uncle Leo]

12/13th May.

Europea League Final. You're a massive Atlético Madrid/Liverpool/Fulham/Hamburg fan and have already bought flights and tickets.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Now in my inbox at work I've just been sent an invite to a team building workshop to be held at a hotel in Coventry (oh, the glamour), starting at 5pm and overnightting until the next day. Now I'd rather jam knitting needles into my eyes than have to be chummy with some of the ****wits I have the misfortune to "work" with. In fact, I can see me going nuclear after a few beers and a few home truths coming out which may not be good for my job "prospects" (or just paying the bills).

So if anyone can come up with a gold plated excuse why I can't do this, I'll massively +rep them time and time again.

There is no "I" in "team".

 

[MK Shrimper]

There is no "I" in "team".

Tell me about it, I'm as wanted as a hog roast at a Muslim wedding.

Europea League Final. You're a massive Atlético Madrid/Liverpool/Fulham/Hamburg fan and have already bought flights and tickets.

Liking it.....then I realised they know I'm a Shrimper....

 

[canveyshrimper]

As you wear a tag you must be at your home address during the curfew hours of 7pm until 6am.

Or you like people to speak to you and don't want to be sent to Coventry.

 

[TrueBlue]

Tell me about it, I'm as wanted as a hog roast at a Muslim wedding.



Liking it.....

Your girlfriend is related to one of the players of one of the teams in the final and you have been given tickets to the game

 

[Mad Cyril]

I suggest you look up synergy in a dictionary.

It may sound like one of Ron Martins hair products but it isn't.

 

[MK Shrimper]

I suggest you look up synergy in a dictionary.

It may sound like one of Ron Martins hair products but it isn't.

Hmmm, is it like nepotism?

 

[blues_r_best]

Have you tried organising a strike for that week?

 

[please delete my account]

Hey Chap!

The best and most effective way to avoid this is to find out the name and address of whoever is running this workshop, pay him/ her a visit and simply stab the **** to death.

This plan of action is bulletproof. Let me know how it goes.

Kind Regards

 

[Firestorm]

Accept the course, make lots of really entusiastic noises about it , them come back after the bank holiday and announce that your G/F's favourite Aunt/Uncle/stalker has died, two or three days later announce that unfortunately the funeral has been arranged for that day and you really should be there to support the Mrs and that you are really dissapointed.

you will come out of it as enthusiastic, open to change yet a caring, supportive partner who has a good work/life balance





Although you may get sussed as a miserable non team playing F***wit who we stoop to unbleievable levels involving your girlfriend just to avoid facing confrontation from workmates about your own failings......

Good luck

 

[Southend_Lady]

Just say you are going to a midweek wedding. Simple and no questions asked.

 

[Benfleet A1]

There is no "I" in "team".

But there is two L's in bollocks.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

as you wear a tag you must be at your home address during the curfew hours of 7pm until 6am.

Or you like people to speak to you and don't want to be sent to coventry.

sorry harry its 8 til 6

 

[number11]

Surely your extreme reluctance to develop any relationship / respect for your work mates makes you the exact kind of person who SHOULD be going on the team building........

 

[MK Shrimper]

Surely your extreme reluctance to develop any relationship / respect for your work mates makes you the exact kind of person who SHOULD be going on the team building........

Bit late for that mate. Treated like **** for almost two years, I think I'll pass.