one flew over the cockles nest
First XI
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2004
- Messages
- 287
Great night out and well worth the trip but what agro getting there!!
Left work at 12.30 already to be picked up around 2, got to Chalkwell station just sorting out my money etc and suddenly realised I had left my keys in my draw at work, by this time my taxi had arrived to take me to mine, thinking f**k what am I going to do, and what am I being dropped off at my home for, I tried to call Mum who as usaul has a mobile phone but wouldnt dream of turning it on. By now the cabbie is sh*tting himself at the tantrum that im throwhing. Eventually my mum calls and informs me I am in chelmsford,ffffffffffuuuuuuuuccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk went the roar, cabbie escapes death and drops me off at home, I ring on next doors to see if they have a spare key, but they informed me I took it last time and never returned it (now im in double f**k mood) So I reluctantly call the lads who where driving and inform them I am not going now as I can't get in the f**king house, by this time im bursting for a **** and sweating like a rapist. How am I going to get in?? I wonder, by now footy was way off my list then I see a little top window open in the front room, now people who know me will know I struggle to get through patio doors far less a tiny frontroom window, but I do know someone who has made an un honest living out of climing through small windows in peoples houses. So Out comes the phone and I put my call through to Barry the Dog (who was sick at home, still recovering from his weekends benders) Barry informed me that he would only do it if we could still go to footy? How the hell are we gonna get to Lincoln its 3 o'clock and I wrote my car off about 2 months ago and the insurance still havent payed up, so to this point we are Carlos (and I don't mean the Iberian Terroist) So out comes the phone to tommy the DJ, If theres someone I don't know theres a good shout tommy will be able to help, (together we have pretty much got every contact you will ever need) And what do you know, Tommy used to Snake a girl from a car hire company, the mans a legend 10 minutes later he's back on the phone we have a car HOOORAAAH, Then im back on the phone to Barry yep come round do your job, and Ill get you to the game, Now I need to fill the car up so im on the phone to a Southend Legend 'Damian The Devil' who would you believe it has a day off because his in court over some matter to do with Euro 2004 tickets!! By this time barry is on my shoulders slipping in the little window hay presto 10 mins later we are in and im ****ing like a Horse NNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY.
4 o'clock 10 beers on board and plenty of Mcy D'sss, we arrive at Basildon Magistrates to pick up the Devil. 6.55 and plenty of Squeeze later we arrive in lincoln. First 10 mins here we f**king go again get the car we are going, then out of the blue out comes the Southend of the early 90's and the fight and commitment came out in force, we had done it got a bloody well erned draw and got our first point on the board, it was great to see the players faces and appresiation at the end of the game. On the journey home we follow the Coach out to the A46 as I was f**ked if I knew how I got there earlier, anyway in the stop start traffic the coach was poodling along in front of us, when it went by a pub with a few Lincoln scalleywaggs hanging around outside, when the coach came past a few of the idiots gave it the fingures and one of them through a bottle that missed, Fearing for everyone on the coaches lives I tried to cause a diversion by hooting giving them the one fingure salute and banging up the curb to run one of them over. One of the cheeky little c**ts has then wacked our beloved Hire Corsa, Screeeeeeeeeeech went the brakes and out got the 3 Muskerteers (thats me,barry and Damian) and with a sea sea sea siders we ran the cockly Lincoln scum bags everywhere. All I want everyone on the coaches to know is we are not heros, we don't want any praise it was all in the line of duty, from Southends new and premium firm the CTC (Corsa Trio Crew). Yetserday couldnt have happened without the efforts of some local heros who id like to give special thanks to........
Barry the Dog (or windows as we call him)
Damian the Devil
Side Show Bob
Mark Loram
My Parents
Dreeeew
Everyone on the coach
and God himself
Ah Men
Left work at 12.30 already to be picked up around 2, got to Chalkwell station just sorting out my money etc and suddenly realised I had left my keys in my draw at work, by this time my taxi had arrived to take me to mine, thinking f**k what am I going to do, and what am I being dropped off at my home for, I tried to call Mum who as usaul has a mobile phone but wouldnt dream of turning it on. By now the cabbie is sh*tting himself at the tantrum that im throwhing. Eventually my mum calls and informs me I am in chelmsford,ffffffffffuuuuuuuuccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk went the roar, cabbie escapes death and drops me off at home, I ring on next doors to see if they have a spare key, but they informed me I took it last time and never returned it (now im in double f**k mood) So I reluctantly call the lads who where driving and inform them I am not going now as I can't get in the f**king house, by this time im bursting for a **** and sweating like a rapist. How am I going to get in?? I wonder, by now footy was way off my list then I see a little top window open in the front room, now people who know me will know I struggle to get through patio doors far less a tiny frontroom window, but I do know someone who has made an un honest living out of climing through small windows in peoples houses. So Out comes the phone and I put my call through to Barry the Dog (who was sick at home, still recovering from his weekends benders) Barry informed me that he would only do it if we could still go to footy? How the hell are we gonna get to Lincoln its 3 o'clock and I wrote my car off about 2 months ago and the insurance still havent payed up, so to this point we are Carlos (and I don't mean the Iberian Terroist) So out comes the phone to tommy the DJ, If theres someone I don't know theres a good shout tommy will be able to help, (together we have pretty much got every contact you will ever need) And what do you know, Tommy used to Snake a girl from a car hire company, the mans a legend 10 minutes later he's back on the phone we have a car HOOORAAAH, Then im back on the phone to Barry yep come round do your job, and Ill get you to the game, Now I need to fill the car up so im on the phone to a Southend Legend 'Damian The Devil' who would you believe it has a day off because his in court over some matter to do with Euro 2004 tickets!! By this time barry is on my shoulders slipping in the little window hay presto 10 mins later we are in and im ****ing like a Horse NNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY.
4 o'clock 10 beers on board and plenty of Mcy D'sss, we arrive at Basildon Magistrates to pick up the Devil. 6.55 and plenty of Squeeze later we arrive in lincoln. First 10 mins here we f**king go again get the car we are going, then out of the blue out comes the Southend of the early 90's and the fight and commitment came out in force, we had done it got a bloody well erned draw and got our first point on the board, it was great to see the players faces and appresiation at the end of the game. On the journey home we follow the Coach out to the A46 as I was f**ked if I knew how I got there earlier, anyway in the stop start traffic the coach was poodling along in front of us, when it went by a pub with a few Lincoln scalleywaggs hanging around outside, when the coach came past a few of the idiots gave it the fingures and one of them through a bottle that missed, Fearing for everyone on the coaches lives I tried to cause a diversion by hooting giving them the one fingure salute and banging up the curb to run one of them over. One of the cheeky little c**ts has then wacked our beloved Hire Corsa, Screeeeeeeeeeech went the brakes and out got the 3 Muskerteers (thats me,barry and Damian) and with a sea sea sea siders we ran the cockly Lincoln scum bags everywhere. All I want everyone on the coaches to know is we are not heros, we don't want any praise it was all in the line of duty, from Southends new and premium firm the CTC (Corsa Trio Crew). Yetserday couldnt have happened without the efforts of some local heros who id like to give special thanks to........
Barry the Dog (or windows as we call him)
Damian the Devil
Side Show Bob
Mark Loram
My Parents
Dreeeew
Everyone on the coach
and God himself
Ah Men