Whats the furthest you have walked when ****ed?

[Winkle]

Billericay station to basildon station! Coming back from London in the Early eighties around November time, got kicked off the train at shenfeild because of signal trouble, no money, lashed up to hilt thinking " it cant be that far"..... 2 and 3/4 hours later I am still walking, hypothermic, finally threw the towel in and phoned home for Daddy to come and rescue me.... He wasnt impressed! Saying that, I quite regually did the railway(pub or dive) in pitsea, to langdon hills, tossup between a large doner or a taxi...the doner would win 9 times out of 10!

 

[J]

during the world cup.. i took a 4 hour walk from stuttgart around the city.. and finally found my hotel..

30 mins from the bar i was in originally

 

[J]

so probably about 10 miles...

 

[Smiffy]

Talk nightclub to Wakering, in a mid January snowstorm, at 3am.

Took around 3 or 4 hours I think in -5c, not the most intelligent thing i've ever done.....no cabs were running because of the snow...

Was lucky I didn't get hypothermia.....had a terrible cold for week's though unsurprisingly.

 

[The General]

Quote[/b] (Smiffy @ Oct. 06 2006,23:15)]Talk nightclub to Wakering, in a mid January snowstorm, at 3am.

Took around 3 or 4 hours I think in -5c, not the most intelligent thing i've ever done.....no cabs were running because of the snow...

Was lucky I didn't get hypothermia.....had a terrible cold for week's though unsurprisingly.

 

[pickledseal]

Quote[/b] (Smiffy @ Oct. 06 2006,23:15)]Talk nightclub to Wakering, in a mid January snowstorm, at 3am.

Took around 3 or 4 hours I think in -5c, not the most intelligent thing i've ever done.....no cabs were running because of the snow...

Was lucky I didn't get hypothermia.....had a terrible cold for week's though unsurprisingly.

It must be a Wakering thing....

I have done if from town a few times, again once in the snow.... It was the night before my birthday as well as felt terrible for the whole day!!!

 

[Xàbia Shrimper]

Shoeburyness to Leigh-on-Sea, c.1989 - I had a great night out in the Old Ranges then suddenly realised I had nothing left to get any transport home. I'd already got the Mess staff to ring me a taxi to pick up at the Hotel as I was convinced I had at least £10 left. I'd heartily cheered my colleagues away in their respective cabs (in that loud cheery way you do when you are very, very ****ed that wakes up the whole area, let alone the street!) then started looking for the cash - nothing! Cab turns up - sh!t! I bluffed innocence - not me, mate! No cash - no easy way home. The route, as I remember it, didn't involve the easy option of walking along the seafront - oh no! Since I lived inland a mile or so, the ****ed brain-o-meter argued that it was probably better to walk along the A13 to avoid a long, steep climb in Leigh. Sometime later I found myself at Warner's Bridge, sobriety very slowly starting to kick in as I realised that I was well, well off-course. Common sense suggested the sea-front route again so I walked from Warners Bridge, down Manners Way and up and along Victoria Avenue towards the sea. At Victoria Circus I must have discovered with great delight that I'd found the A13 again because I followed it ... to Southchurch. The sun was up by now, milkmen were rattling down the road, I can only imagine that I was very confused. I remember the Cliffs Pavilion at one point so I must have decided to follow the cliffs in roughly the right direction. I also remember The Plough so I must have weaved my way through Westcliff - remember this. It was a Friday morning so by the time I eventually wandered down Leigh Broadway, traffic was quite heavy and shops were open. I reached Library Gardens, sat down and contemplated the walk. I had made it ...

... but I lived in f%&king Westcliff.

 

[Flinty]

not furthest but in line with the others nearly got hypothermia.

Cup final day drinking in leigh from 12 o'clock onwards non stop. After not being able to consume more beer started on wine then JD & coke. Felt completely ratted in the Mariners and somewhere close to midnight decided to walk back to Hamlet Court Road. Not far granted but it was absolutely chucking it down, me in just jeans and t-shirt

Walked back along london road sodden, and fell over probably at least 3 times, there was so much water evrywhere my eyes were saturated........seemed like the longest walk ever with jeans now weighing about 2 ton.

 

[Bielzibubz]

Wasn't pi$$ed as such but it was 1982, March if I remember correctly and after a rather energetic night spent in Quills (remember it anyone?) along the seafront a group of mates and myself piled out of the front entrance at 2am ish into what can only be described as a rapidly developing war zone. There were coppers everywhere, pi$$ed up Sugar Ray Leonard wannabes giving it the big I am and I remember thinking this was not the best time to be associated with any of these neanderthals and if anyone remembers what the coppers that patrolled the seafront were like back then you'll know why.

Anyway, after splitting up myself and my mate decided we'd walk to the taxi cab hut opposite the Kursaal and wait quietly for a ride home, like ya do, only things didn't quite go according to plan. Outside The Forrester's it all kicked off, bottles being lobbed from the pub to the road and vice versa. A quite large contingent of Southends finest were trying to bring things under control, unsuccessfully I might add. At this point my only thought was safety which meant hiding in the toilets on the sea side of the road opposite. b******s to my mate I thought, all for one and one for all meant diddly squat at that particular time and staying out of harms way was all important.

Now I know what your thinking.....What a wimp! well, yes I was. Southend seafront in those days was not a safe place to be at 2.30am. It was full of groups of guys that would rip your arms and legs off as soon as look at you and the coppers had a reputation as well.

Well, to cut a long story relatively short I got about half way across the road to the toilet and relative safety and got collared by one of Southends said finest. Protesting my innocence of all and any crimes that may have been committed by anyone in the borough within the last ten years only seemed to make matters worse and I was eventually bundled into the back of a wagon by this thug with a badge and one of his colleagues.

An hour later I found myself on the far end of Canvey Island by the sea wall, minus any money I had left on me and minus my shoes and socks! It wasn't a particularly long walk back to Leigh (Belfairs Park area) but it was freezing cold and the shoes that were so unceremoniously thrown into the sea by the two coppers *cough....w%&kers* were only bought the day before and they cost me a pretty packet.

Coppers in those days really knew how to treat the innocent

 

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (Xàbia Shrimper @ Oct. 07 2006,09:12)]Shoeburyness to Leigh-on-Sea,

Ahhhhh yes, the infamous license to print money for taxi-drivers and probably the main reason I switched to the Southend Victoria line all those years ago.

I'd regularly walk from Rayleigh to Eastwood in the old days. Spending your cab money on one last round always seems the sensible option when you're p1ssed.

 

[Winkle]

Quote[/b] (Xàbia Shrimper @ Oct. 07 2006,09:12)]Shoeburyness to Leigh-on-Sea, c.1989 - I had a great night out in the Old Ranges then suddenly realised I had nothing left to get any transport home. I'd already got the Mess staff to ring me a taxi to pick up at the Hotel as I was convinced I had at least £10 left. I'd heartily cheered my colleagues away in their respective cabs (in that loud cheery way you do when you are very, very ****ed that wakes up the whole area, let alone the street!) then started looking for the cash - nothing! Cab turns up - sh!t! I bluffed innocence - not me, mate! No cash - no easy way home. The route, as I remember it, didn't involve the easy option of walking along the seafront - oh no! Since I lived inland a mile or so, the ****ed brain-o-meter argued that it was probably better to walk along the A13 to avoid a long, steep climb in Leigh. Sometime later I found myself at Warner's Bridge, sobriety very slowly starting to kick in as I realised that I was well, well off-course. Common sense suggested the sea-front route again so I walked from Warners Bridge, down Manners Way and up and along Victoria Avenue towards the sea. At Victoria Circus I must have discovered with great delight that I'd found the A13 again because I followed it ... to Southchurch. The sun was up by now, milkmen were rattling down the road, I can only imagine that I was very confused. I remember the Cliffs Pavilion at one point so I must have decided to follow the cliffs in roughly the right direction. I also remember The Plough so I must have weaved my way through Westcliff - remember this. It was a Friday morning so by the time I eventually wandered down Leigh Broadway, traffic was quite heavy and shops were open. I reached Library Gardens, sat down and contemplated the walk. I had made it ...

... but I lived in f%&king Westcliff.

Thats got to be the winner so far!

 

[Napster]

I walked through five electory constituencies on Election Day back in 1997 after going to a party on the outskirts of Edinburgh the previous evening. No cash on me, had to walk very hungover, and I had no idea where I was, just followed the road signs to Edinburgh. No drink, no food, took me 5 hours of walking the walk of shame. If I knew where I came from, I could work out how far I walked that day.

Rifkind lost his seat that day.

 

[Ulysses]

Gidea Park to Chadwell Heath one christmas. Fell asleep on the last train woke up in Gidea Park, tried to get a taxi couldn't so walked back, got lost several times down the back streets. Found Romford and was okay, think it was about 8 miles and took 2-3 hours. Frozen finally arrived home to find the other half asleep with her mate in our bed

The following year i tried to repeatfrom Brentwood but got a taxi after 2 miles.

 

[Bielzibubz]

Quote[/b] (Ulysses @ Oct. 08 2006,19:33)]Frozen finally arrived home to find the other half asleep with her mate in our bed

WOAH! .... hold up there. You can't leave the story there dammit

Carry on.

 

[* ORM *]

Quote[/b] (Ulysses @ Oct. 08 2006,19:33)]Frozen finally arrived home to find the other half asleep with her mate in our bed

The following year i tried to repeatfrom Brentwood but got a taxi after 2 miles.

There is a massive paragraph missing between these two sentences, and we all know what the cure is for mild hypothermia.

On the basis that you attempted to repeat the exercise a year later I'm assuming that night went quite well.

 

[sufcintheprem]

I have to admit that I pretty much always walk home from the town centre. Similar story in Lufbra.

One of my stories is legitimate enough, the other a bit tenuous. On our first ngiht in Vancoucer, we managed to book a hotel that seemingly came highly recommended on the net for an outrageously cheap price. Something was amiss when the cab sped away and by the time we saw the typical smacked up clientele, it became pretty clear that the owner must have had a field day recommending his own place. Even worse, we'd all been frivolous enough to upgrade our airline tickets and with beers in the airport, we were all pretty drunk. We basically decided to up and leave walking, fully loaded with most of our worldly possessions through the worst parts of Vancouver in the middle of a Friday night. I have no idea how far we walked but even when doing it sober in the daylight unloaded it took a good hour!

The other was when we went up to Keswick to do the Keswick to Barrow walk. Naturally, we assumed that walking 40 miles through the Lake District would be a piece of cake so we 'accidentally' got battered the night before. I would say that none of us were sober until at least 15-20 miles in where reality really started to bite back!

 

[Shrimper2thecore]

Canvey Island to Southchurch, took a little while!

 

[Firestorm]

many years ago my brother was having a few beers in the city (A riverboat disco , remember those ?) and fell asleep on the way home, missing his stop at Billericay (not an unheard of occurance in our house). after waking up at Southend vic he found that due to overhead problems the trains had stopped running (there used to be trains all night in those days) so he walked.....got in through the front door at half six straight to bed and the alarm went off at 7, duly got up and went to work.

The next do up the city he got me an invite as he thought I might prevent a similar occurence, no chance, but at least we could get a train back....

 

[Mad Cyril]

Not a walking home post but.....

A mate of mine regularly used to drink in the city and sleep on the way home to Rayleigh.

On one particular occassion he woke up at Hockley.

In a drunken panic he woke up and pressed the door open button.

Nothing happened so he forced the doors and stepped out....of the wrong side of the train landing on the tracks and injuring himself quite badly.

He had to be rescued by station staff who were not particularly impressed.

I do like to hear city boy/girl after work disaster stories. Has any one got any good ones?

 

[canveyshrimper]

Quote[/b] (Mad Cyril @ Oct. 09 2006,08:50)]I do like to hear city boy/girl after work disaster stories. Has any one got any good ones?

Some years ago I worked with a bloke who lived in Saffron Walden. We would invariably go for a few pre weekend sherbets on a Friday in the City, normally ending up in Brick Lane for a curry, before heading to the station for the train home. This bloke would generally nod off and end up in Cambridge, where he would call his long sufferting wife to come out and fetch him. One night in his stupor he got on the completely wrong train, fell aleep, and woke up in King's Lynn. Whereupon he phone his beloved to come and pick him up, too which she told him to f**k off. He spent a very unhappy, uncomfortable & cold night on a bench at the station, before trailing crestfallen back home the next morning. It didn't stop him getting ****ed on a Friday, but he was more careful in trying to stay wakeful on the train.