6th April. Round 2!

[mattytheshrimper]

i don't think anyone can wait until 6th april when Col******r roll into town for round 2, its gunna be a cracker off a game, one i am counting down the days until. gunna b a lively old one to watch.

plenty of police as well i suspect

hopefully we can have a brilliant derby without any little girl dives.

 

[Smiffy]

Maybe the club can make it an "Dive For Duguid" day?

All are required to attend in full divers attire...

 

[mattytheshrimper]

maybe change the half time diving competition. even the blue bells could do a specialised cheer as well

 

[Plumstix]

Jacques Cousteau doing the half time challenge.

 

[Prodigal Son]

It will certainly be interesting, Karl will have certainly increased interest in the match.

I think it has caused lots of ill feeling between both sides, our fans will not be looking to be particularly pleasant.I think there will be an increased police presence more than normal for this match.

As Karl and Kev are both captains, it will be very interesting to see any handshake take place between them when the referee calls them together at the beginning.

Personally, I am not convinced Karl will come, and nor will the Col Ewe fans in any numbers unless there is something riding on this match for them.

 

[col u]

You will be down by then and we will be safe in mid table so it will be a nothing game.
Portman Road in Jan - now thats a real derby to look forward to, 17 miles as opposed to 40.

 

[prittlewellshrimper]

Where do the inbreds train ?? other than the farm animal section at Col******r Zoo?

 

[prittlewellshrimper]

Quote[/b] (col u @ Nov. 27 2006,22:15)]You will be down by then and we will be safe in mid table so it will be a nothing game.
Portman Road in Jan - now thats a real derby to look forward to, 17 miles as opposed to 40.

you couldnt even bring a decent number last year to our place when it certainly wasnt a nothing game . You bunch of f%cking throwbacks , go f%ck youre sister again w&nker

 

[mattytheshrimper]

y r u on ere u col u dirty bas*ard. go to ur pikey ground

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Faaakin faaak orf yew inbrid faaaacks! Fack!

 

[shrimper_sam]

Quote[/b] (col u @ Nov. 27 2006,22:15)]You will be down by then and we will be safe in mid table so it will be a nothing game.
Portman Road in Jan - now thats a real derby to look forward to, 17 miles as opposed to 40.

Well p1ss off on to one off there message boards you sheep sha%ging bas*ard.

 

[prittlewellshrimper]

Quote[/b] (Jonny_Stokes @ Nov. 27 2006,22:38)]Faaakin faaak orf yew inbrid faaaacks! Fack!

HERE HERE !

 

[mattytheshrimper]

u see he's keeping it all quiet now. does he not realise that this for southend united supporters, obviously he would like to be one, but we don't except fans from that dive in the forgotten part of the ever so glorious essex.

they win 3-0 and still they can't string a few songs together

 

[Sean 2]

Quote[/b] (col u @ Nov. 27 2006,22:15)]You will be down by then and we will be safe in mid table so it will be a nothing game.
Portman Road in Jan - now thats a real derby to look forward to, 17 miles as opposed to 40.

NOT a derby tw%t 'cos everyone in Colfester supports Ipswich,no suprise there seeing as they keep it on the deck.What do you get a neck brace with yer match ticket included in the price?

You know that you'll NEVER be as big as them 'cos of their stadium,fanbase and insistence to play attractive football,together with their deep-rooted history.JUST LIKE SOUTHEND.

Which,of course is why Colfester will only dare build stadia big enough for farmer giles and his cattle herd.I mean,not even the Army boys go and watch yer.

Now,**** Off..................

 

[mattytheshrimper]

too right

 

[Sean 2]

OI col u.

Wondered why you could't sell out our game at the weekend?

It's cos you've lost MORE supporters now to Chelmsford City!

So even with Championship standard entertainment you are down to your last 3000!

 

[Shrimp in a Kilt]

A little ditty for the 6th...

Quote[/b] ]
Living Troll
(with apologies to)
Cliff Richard

Col U got a Lyin', Cheatin', Maher-mistreatin', Divin' troll.
He always does his best to cheat refs, just 'cos he's a divin' troll.
He's a living lie and that is why he sickens my soul.
Duguid's the one and only Lyin', Cheatin', Divin' troll.
Take a look at thefilm, it's for real,
And you'll believe what I say, on every reel!
I'm gonna lock him up in a Loo, so every true Blue,
Can amuse themselves with a pee.

Col U got a Lyin', Cheatin', Maher-mistreatin', Divin' troll.
He always does his best to cheat refs, just 'cos he's a divin' troll.
He's a living lie and that is why he sickens my soul.
Duguid's the one and only Lyin', Cheatin', Divin' troll.

 

[Sean 2]

Quote[/b] (Shrimp in a Kilt @ Nov. 27 2006,23:30)]A little ditty for the 6th...

Quote[/b] ]
Living Troll
(with apologies to)
Cliff Richard

Col U got a Lyin', Cheatin', Maher-mistreatin', Divin' troll.
He always does his best to cheat refs, just 'cos he's a divin' troll.
He's a living lie and that is why he sickens my  soul.
Duguid's the one and only Lyin', Cheatin', Divin' troll.
Take a look at thefilm, it's for  real,
And you'll believe what I say, on every reel!
I'm gonna lock him up in a Loo, so every true Blue,
Can amuse themselves with a pee.

Col U got a Lyin', Cheatin', Maher-mistreatin', Divin' troll.
He always does his best to cheat refs, just 'cos he's a divin' troll.
He's a living lie and that is why he sickens my  soul.
Duguid's the one and only Lyin', Cheatin', Divin' troll.

Kiltman,you are indeed a legend

 

[Jonny_Stokes]

Can't touch Karl
Can’t touch Karl  
Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Can’t touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch Karl

My, my, my, my Maher hits me so hard
Makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for pushing me

With a mind to dive and two left feet
Feels good when you know you're down
A superdive homeboy from the Scumtown
And I'm known as such
And this is a Karl uh you can't touch

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I told you shrimpboy can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, that's how we divin' and ya know,
can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Look in my eyes man, can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
You know let me bust the tw&t‘s legs, you can’t touch Karl

Fresh new kits and boots
You got it like that now you know wanna dive
So move off of your feet
When you get a soft push and catch his breath
While your rollin' hold on
Jump a little bit and let the ref know it's going on
Like that, like that
Cold on a mission so fall on back
Let 'em know that you're too much
And this is a Karl uh you can't touch

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yo I told you, can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Why you standing there man, can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yo sound the bell school is in sucker, can't touch Karl

Give me a nudge or bump
Making me cheat that's how I'm dismissing 'em
Now they know
You talk about the West Hammer when you’re talking ‘bout a c%&t
They’re overhyped and sh!te
Whingers are swearin' so pass them a dummy
Or a tape to learn
What it's gonna take in the 00s to win
The cards are flying
Either dive like Karl or you might as well quit

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
That's word because you know
Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! West Hammer time!

Go with the flow it is said
If you can't dive like Karl then you probably are dead
So wave your hands in the air
Bust a few moves run your fingers through your hair
This is it for a winner (Karl)
Don’t do diving and you're gonna go down
Now move slide your rump
Just for a minute let's all do the Karl

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Bump bump bump yeah, you can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Look man, can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
You'll probably get hyped boy 'cause you know you can't,can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Ring the bell school's back in, break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! West Hammer time!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) can't touch Karl
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) break it down!
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop! West Hammer time!

Every time you see Karl, that West Hammer's such a dyke
He dives on the floor and he got Maher in the sh!te
Now why would Karl ever stop doing this
With others playin' fair that just don’t fit
I toured around the league from London to Torquay
It's West Hammer dive West Hammer dive West Hammer dive West Hammer and the rest can go and play

Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Can't touch Karl (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Yeah, Can't touch Karl
I told you, can't touch Karl (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can't touch Karl Get me outta here, you can't touch Karl

 

[Southendsleeper]

If only...