Suffolk Shrimper In Dorset
Director⭐⭐
Dear Henrik,
Welcome to Roots Hall.
We have no idea why you have chosen us so look forward greatly to learning of your motivations and plans.
We sincerely hope that you do not think we are in any way, shape or form a Barcelona, or even a Celtic, in the making. We can never be that. What we are is a small club with a long history of lower league life. But we are proud, passionate, loyal, and expect those qualities in those that serve the club.
Our chairman has ambitions, and we share his dreams but have learned to be patient and perhaps have grown a little cynical of expecting something to really happen. You should anticipate that your time with us, however long or short it might be, will be enjoyed within the present crumbly surroundings you see before you. And don't expect onions in your burger.
You will of course have your own ideas and expecations, but here are some sincere and heart felt views that we would strongly suggest you take on board to help you in your somewhat chalenging task:
- the existing bunch of players have somehow been moulded in to what can only be described as a disgraceful unit. They should be ashamed of their performances this season (and for those that were here, last season too). Some of them are good players - perhaps they should be the most ashamed. Your first task should be to individually and collectively kick each and every one of them firmly up the ar se. More than once. No exceptions. Any that sulk should be sidelined and come January loaned out to Barnet until the season ends - you will find that most have their contracts expiring in June.
- those that show some fire in their belly should then be worked as they never have before and have instilled in them a never-say-die attitude. I have Adam Barratt's telephone number of you need any advice on this.
- recruit new faces for the level we play at, we want players who will enthuse the team spirit and will understand that those that pay to watch them at their own places of work would be sacked if they did not give their very best for what at most is only three hours of playing time a week. If you have any input in to club financials maybe encourage Ron to offer short but incentivised contracts (hopefully that is what he has given you)
- encourage Ron to employ a CEO. He has a lot on his plate and the staff at the club are over-worked and to an extent fire-fighting. They need some help from the top to do their jobs to their full potential
- you might find that the current defence are a tiny bit shaky and the midfield a little, well, absent. At least until January a some no-nonesense hoof ball might be the answer, this should then avoid defenders trying to play football they are not capable of and neatly will then by-pass a midfield that is lacking
- look closely at the way our players prepare for games, warm-down after matches and are treated for any injuries. The one impressive stat of late at Roots Hall has been the sheer length of the queue for the treatment table and something is not quite right in that area. It needs sorting out fast as our bill for plasters is too high
- seek advice from sound local people that know the club well, listen carefully and have regular dialogue with a chosen few. Two 'must have's' in this list should be Paul Clark and Glenn Pennyfather - they know the club inside out, you will benefit from their insight, and from their priviliged commenary box perches they will give you a common-sense perspective
- play to players strengths, play them in position, and do not isolate your strike force
- choose a leader on the pitch that will captain by example and do you proud every second he is out there
- engage fully with the fans, attend their meetings, go out in the community, and enthuse. We do not want to hear how great Barcelona are, we want to see and know that you care for us.
- you will have your own style and we appreciate that, but showing encouragement and passion on the touchline goes a long way
- keep your own counsel regarding player performance, motivate them from within not via the media (but do be nice to Chris Phillips)
- if things go well show your appreciation and keep focused on the club. We know that if you do well bigger fish will come knocking and one day you'll be off, but whilst you are with us do not waver from the Shrimper line. Whilst you are here, giving a public wink towards the Premiership, or even Bolton and Hull, will shorten your tenure here quicker than you might wish
- After every match, home and away, make sure the players show their appreciation for the fans, don't let them hide
- A little well-intentioned badge-tumping from yourself might not go amiss either. We need enthusing too.
And finally, if you know of suitable words that rhyme with 'Larsson' send a note over to the TBV area as they might need some help thinking of an appropriate chant to cheer you on.
Good luck
Welcome to Roots Hall.
We have no idea why you have chosen us so look forward greatly to learning of your motivations and plans.
We sincerely hope that you do not think we are in any way, shape or form a Barcelona, or even a Celtic, in the making. We can never be that. What we are is a small club with a long history of lower league life. But we are proud, passionate, loyal, and expect those qualities in those that serve the club.
Our chairman has ambitions, and we share his dreams but have learned to be patient and perhaps have grown a little cynical of expecting something to really happen. You should anticipate that your time with us, however long or short it might be, will be enjoyed within the present crumbly surroundings you see before you. And don't expect onions in your burger.
You will of course have your own ideas and expecations, but here are some sincere and heart felt views that we would strongly suggest you take on board to help you in your somewhat chalenging task:
- the existing bunch of players have somehow been moulded in to what can only be described as a disgraceful unit. They should be ashamed of their performances this season (and for those that were here, last season too). Some of them are good players - perhaps they should be the most ashamed. Your first task should be to individually and collectively kick each and every one of them firmly up the ar se. More than once. No exceptions. Any that sulk should be sidelined and come January loaned out to Barnet until the season ends - you will find that most have their contracts expiring in June.
- those that show some fire in their belly should then be worked as they never have before and have instilled in them a never-say-die attitude. I have Adam Barratt's telephone number of you need any advice on this.
- recruit new faces for the level we play at, we want players who will enthuse the team spirit and will understand that those that pay to watch them at their own places of work would be sacked if they did not give their very best for what at most is only three hours of playing time a week. If you have any input in to club financials maybe encourage Ron to offer short but incentivised contracts (hopefully that is what he has given you)
- encourage Ron to employ a CEO. He has a lot on his plate and the staff at the club are over-worked and to an extent fire-fighting. They need some help from the top to do their jobs to their full potential
- you might find that the current defence are a tiny bit shaky and the midfield a little, well, absent. At least until January a some no-nonesense hoof ball might be the answer, this should then avoid defenders trying to play football they are not capable of and neatly will then by-pass a midfield that is lacking
- look closely at the way our players prepare for games, warm-down after matches and are treated for any injuries. The one impressive stat of late at Roots Hall has been the sheer length of the queue for the treatment table and something is not quite right in that area. It needs sorting out fast as our bill for plasters is too high
- seek advice from sound local people that know the club well, listen carefully and have regular dialogue with a chosen few. Two 'must have's' in this list should be Paul Clark and Glenn Pennyfather - they know the club inside out, you will benefit from their insight, and from their priviliged commenary box perches they will give you a common-sense perspective
- play to players strengths, play them in position, and do not isolate your strike force
- choose a leader on the pitch that will captain by example and do you proud every second he is out there
- engage fully with the fans, attend their meetings, go out in the community, and enthuse. We do not want to hear how great Barcelona are, we want to see and know that you care for us.
- you will have your own style and we appreciate that, but showing encouragement and passion on the touchline goes a long way
- keep your own counsel regarding player performance, motivate them from within not via the media (but do be nice to Chris Phillips)
- if things go well show your appreciation and keep focused on the club. We know that if you do well bigger fish will come knocking and one day you'll be off, but whilst you are with us do not waver from the Shrimper line. Whilst you are here, giving a public wink towards the Premiership, or even Bolton and Hull, will shorten your tenure here quicker than you might wish
- After every match, home and away, make sure the players show their appreciation for the fans, don't let them hide
- A little well-intentioned badge-tumping from yourself might not go amiss either. We need enthusing too.
And finally, if you know of suitable words that rhyme with 'Larsson' send a note over to the TBV area as they might need some help thinking of an appropriate chant to cheer you on.
Good luck
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