Grooms Speech

[Smiffy]

Chaps, As some of you may know. I tie the knot with my missus of 11 years this Sunday. The only thing thats is troubling me is my speech. Has anyone got any tips on what I should talk about, do I make it funny, how long should it be etc? Ta muchly for any help.

 

[Pubey]

There are some things you need to do, like thanking people and saying nice things about your wife and the parents. You'll get a cheer when you start with 'my wife and i...'

Don't think you need to go all out with the gags, but I told some stories about when we met and dating stuff, and a couple of gentle gags about my northern inlaws. Seemed to go pretty well.

Good luck mate, it's an amazing day!!

 

[Rudi Luftwaffe]

As a top flight raconteur I recommend a drunken half hour monologue interspersed with Jim Davidson jokes.

 

[Thorpe Groyney]

A plethora of socially uncomfortable stories and one liners is a must. This is your moment in the sun. Make it one to remember.

My mention of apartheid and the black vicar at my wedding went down very well. With me anyway.

 

[dashman]

Mention the time it has taken to get to the alter....finally! Thank peoples patience (good for 11yrs & waiting around a bit at weddings!)
All those that helped you both along the way, parental advice on both sides etc... If any (funny/odd) moments through the day get noticed then add them in ur speech, like page boy might fall over in the church (unhurt of course) or aunties hat going flying etc
Be gracious!

 

[Hotman]

Chaps, As some of you may know. I tie the knot with my missus of 11 years this Sunday. The only thing thats is troubling me is my speech. Has anyone got any tips on what I should talk about, do I make it funny, how long should it be etc? Ta muchly for any help.

The best ones I've heard are short and heartfelt, and not apparently over planned. I read mine from notes, as it was one of the first times I spoke in public, and really regret that having seen it on video.

Whatever happens, the groom gets away with more than the best man, and no need to try to be funny etc if you don't feel comfortable with awkward jokes. Just make sure you don't upset her or her family!!

 

[Rusty Shackleford]

Sink a bottle of scotch and snort up six or seven lines of Colombia's finest and you'll do just fine. At least it will feel that way at the time.

 

[TrueBlue]

My speach is done - smiffy your going down!!!

 

[Crawliano]

You've got a captive audience, why not take the opportunity to get something off your chest, like how the saturation of talent shows is contributing to the downfall of television and society in that it seems to be the only way that the "yoot" of today can strive to make a living.

It's a little bit of a curveball, but the audience will appreciate.

 

[Crawliano]

Oh and follow it up with a performance of "Fight The Power" by Public Enemy.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

C is spot on - short, heartfelt, you have to remember to thank a lot of people (esp. the in-laws and the celebrant / vicar) and get a "my wife and I" in there. And don't worry about it; everyone will love you that day, so no one is going to judge you on your speech!

 

[ian_the_girth]

My speach is done - smiffy your going down!!!

Will you still be there by then?!

Lee, make it 10 minutes max.
A big thank you to your Mrs, her family, yours, friends, those who have travelled a long way etc.
Talk about how you met & finally getting engaged. All that crap about her being your best friend blah blah...

Can we get ****ed yet?

 

[bucket&spade.f.c]

My speach is done - smiffy your going down!!!

Who did you pay to write it?

 

[londonblue]

Two things:

Keep it brief, thank the relevant people and be yourself. If you aren't the type of person to make jokes then don't feel under pressure to do so. One thing to remember about delivery: However slow you think you're speaking, you're still speaking too fast. Slow it down. You'd be surprised how fast it will be when you watch it back. The benefit of that is twofold. Firstly, you come over as very assured, and not nervous (even if you are) and secondly, you get away with saying less!

 

[Pubey]

Two things:

Keep it brief, thank the relevant people and be yourself. If you aren't the type of person to make jokes then don't feel under pressure to do so. One thing to remember about delivery: However slow you think you're speaking, you're still speaking too fast. Slow it down. You'd be surprised how fast it will be when you watch it back. The benefit of that is twofold. Firstly, you come over as very assured, and not nervous (even if you are) and secondly, you get away with saying less!

very good advice!

 

[Jedi Shrimper]

I winged it and nearly forgot to thank my mum. MAKE NOTES.

That said all that's really expected is to thank all the relevant people, especially your new wife for turning up, looking beautiful etc. Only add any jokes in if you feel like it, it's your day no need to pander to anyone except the missus & the inlaws.

Hope all goes well Sunday, enjoy it.

 

[MK Shrimper]

To be honest I can't remember, and it was only a year ago! Think I said soppy stuff about Mrs MK, thanked her parents, our flower girl, and gave out presents to people who had gone beyond the call of duty to travel to MK.

Have a great day mate!

 

[canveyshrimper]

The only thing I can recommend is that you get married in the morning. Then if it doesn't work out you haven't wasted a day. :dim:

 

[Rayleigh Weir]

One thing I learnt was that an off-hand quip likening the wife to an Orang-utan won't be forgotten as quickly as you might think...

 

[Calvin Candie]

Make sure you thank your bestman for organising your stag do