Poetry Corner

[Mrs Baylock]

I am a new poster who has spent a wee while observing some of the comings & goings on this site & it appears that we are a diverse bunch who are receptive to many topics & discussions. In order to address my own previous misdeamenours as the evil nanny in The Omen I have turned my hand to poetry & here is my first & possibly last effort . It's probably about Christmas more about it's over commercialism with a spot of modern apathy thrown in. It is not meant as a religious statement as I assure you I have left that anti-christ business behind me. Here Goes - Ahem.

If Jesus were alive today - he'd probably be on his PS3
Or Facebook or on I-player , catching up with the BBC,
His message would be lost for now in the communications chatter,
He'd prob'ly be dismissed in a tabloid as another trolling nutter.

The legacy of Christmas died a century ago,
When prophesy and faith were swapped for Ho, Ho , Ho.
A climate of Austerity , Uncertainty and fear,
Our destiny in our own hands,
So where do we go from here?

That's it.

Thank you.

 

[MK Shrimper]

And I thought I was a miserable ****. :stunned:

 

[Greebosan]

I have written 3 poems in my life, thankfully all short.

When the Ramones are dead and gone
And youth culture's looking pale and wan
Car stereo theivery rockets
But Johnny grins on from his empty sockets

I also wrote a poem which the gentlemen of the forum may find useful for putting in their good lady's Christmas card - guaranteed to thaw the stoniest heart. (Obviously need to amend dates as needed).

We've been together for a year
I like you just as much as beer
You're first or second, never third
Because you're such a classy bird.

You're welcome.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

And I thought I was a miserable ****. :stunned:

You are, that hasn't changed.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

AND WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE she asks is it DOWN TO THE LAKE I FEAR i answer,christmas is brilliant for the kids so why spoil it with your fairy tales,ho ho ho.

 

[Firestorm]

AND WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE she asks is it DOWN TO THE LAKE I FEAR i answer,christmas is brilliant for the kids so why spoil it with your fairy tales,ho ho ho.

Time for a Haircut Tone?

 

[MK Shrimper]

You are, that hasn't changed.

And a happy Chrimble to you too Fillip :dim::tease:

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

Time for a Haircut Tone?

What is this fabled hair you talk of Garry.
Mrs Baylocks A POET AND SHE DONT KNOW IT SHES GOT A KNOSE SO WHY NOT BLOW IT.

 

[C C Csiders]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am a schizophrenic
And so am I

 

[C C Csiders]

If we all suffered from dyslexia
Then thnigs wouldn't be misspelt
If we all suffered from discalculia
Then in poker six cards would be dealt
If we all suffered epilepsy
We could take our clothes in the bath
And if we all suffered depression
There wouldn't be time for a laugh
If we suffered, us all, with constipation
Would there not be so much crap in the world?
And if we all suffered arthritis
All our fingers would be curled
If we were to overcome cancer
We couldn't bring back those who died
But we fight on against misearble suffering
But like King Canute we cannot turn back the tide

 

[Mrs Baylock]

If we all suffered from dyslexia
Then thnigs wouldn't be misspelt
If we all suffered from discalculia
Then in poker six cards would be dealt
If we all suffered epilepsy
We could take our clothes in the bath
And if we all suffered depression
There wouldn't be time for a laugh
If we suffered, us all, with constipation
Would there not be so much crap in the world?
And if we all suffered arthritis
All our fingers would be curled
If we were to overcome cancer
We couldn't bring back those who died
But we fight on against misearble suffering
But like King Canute we cannot turn back the tide

Just wonderful - has brought a tear to this former guardian of the anti-christ. Cannot give praise enough for this superb effort.
(Assuming it is original & not cribbed off Pam Ayers )

 

[Mrs Baylock]

As my first serious effort was met with much acclaim I have now gained the confidence to let you have my first draft of .... An ode to Mohsni - (Can be put to the words of Joseph, Joseph what you gonna do etc) . This is a more light hearted effort & is influenced by recent events relating to former shrimper B.Mohsni & several buckets of Mulled Wine. Here goes. Ahem.. (Hic).

Mohsni, Mohsni , What you gonna do?
Ipswich don't want you , have you tried Col Ewe?
Mohsni, Mohsni, you caused too much fuss,
Don't care what you,
Just don't come back to us.

That is all - Thank you.

 

[Mrs Baylock]

As my first serious effort was met with much acclaim I have now gained the confidence to let you have my first draft of .... An ode to Mohsni - (Can be put to the words of Joseph, Joseph what you gonna do etc) . This is a more light hearted effort & is influenced by recent events relating to former shrimper B.Mohsni & several buckets of Mulled Wine. Here goes. Ahem.. (Hic).

Mohsni, Mohsni , What you gonna do?
Ipswich don't want you , have you tried Col Ewe?
Mohsni, Mohsni, you caused too much fuss,
Don't care what you,
Just don't come back to us.

That is all - Thank you.

Oh for the love of the devil! - The penultimate line should read
"Don't care what you do"

Apologies.

Mrs Baylock.

 

[Mad Cyril]

Gridelet
Just a little bit.

 

[Suffolk Shrimper In Dorset]

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To fetch poor Rover a bone
But when she bent over
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own

Beautiful.:smile:

 

[A Century United]

A Mule he has two legs behind,
And two he has before
It's when you stand behind you find
What the two behind be for.

 

[Firestorm]

Players come
And players go
But we're always shrimpers
Dontcha know