todays dilemma

[The Colours Between]

If the biscuit barrel is full of biscuits, where's the fun in biscuits?

discuss...

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

The answer to that is given to us by Confucius:

"Man who put d*ck in biscuit tin is f***ing crackers."



Ithangyow.

:p

 

[Uncle Leo]

There was a young man from Bengal
Who went to a fancy dress ball
He thought he would risk it
And go as a biscuit
But a dog ate him up in the hall

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate ninety apples and died
While family lamented
The apples fermented
Making cider inside her inside.

 

[Cricko2]

Oh so now this is the funny poem thread.

There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
From out of her bum a geranium come
And her c**t was all covered in weeds

:)

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

The Woodcutter's daughter, Miss Fry
Took Pinnochio aside on the sly.
She ripped off her clothes
And rammed his big nose up her c**t, and said:






"Now tell a lie!"

:D

 

[MrB]

There was a young David from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, "You arsehole,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."

 

[Cricko2]

:confused:

There was a young David from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, "You arsehole,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."

:D :D :D





But I didnt know horses could speak:confused: :p

 

[A Century United]

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate ninety apples and died
While family lamented
The apples fermented
Making cider inside her inside.

The version I know of that is:

There was a young lady from Ryde
Who ate green apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the Lamented
And made cider inside her inside.

And another from the same town:

A careless young man from Ryde
Fell down a toilet and died
His unfortunate brother
Fell down another
And now they're interred side by side.

(My father was very straight-laced and not one for rude jokes, but that one cracked him up :) )

 

[canveyshrimper]

There was a young man from Brent,
Whose **** was exeedingly bent,
To save him the troubele
He bent the thing double So instead of coming he went.

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

There was a young David from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
She replied, "You arsehole,
You're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right 'un."

Ahh, I know a similar one... but it has to be done in a Scouse accent (given the location of New Brighton):

Whilst fookhin' dis' girl from New Brighton
Blokhe says "Ere, luv, you've sure gorra tight'un!"
But de filty young whore
Says "Yer in me bakh door -
if you pull out yer dikh, it's got sh*te on!"

:D

 

[scrounger]

A crossword compiler from Crewe
Had never had sex it was true
So she tried a young man
In the back of a van
But sadly he hadn't a clue

 

[Blues are Back In town]

His name was nobby all, nobby all...
he only had one...........finger
he went to rob a bank, rob a bank..
but stopped off for a.... mars bar
The polce they came quick, they came quick..
and hit him with their.......truncheons.
They hung nobby all,
by his one and only finger.......
They throgh him in a pit in apit..
and buried him with his nanny...
his g/f dug him up dug him up.
for one last tea and biscuit.
They re-burried him with his nanny,
with his finger up her..nostril.

 

[Blues are Back In town]

or better-

they were some lads from SZeee
one used sugar tongs to put sugar in his tea..
his a lawyer,
the other's are poorer..
but they all are cliqueeeeee....

 

[MrB]

There was a 'Zone poster called Matty
Who's earrings made him look quite batty
The logical step
Was negative rep
And now now he's depressed like a fatty

 

[Blues are Back In town]

There was a 'Zone poster called Matty
Who's earrings made him look quite batty
The logical step
Was negative rep
And now now he's depressed like a fatty

Oooooo... two about him in a row.. :guns:

 

[scrounger]

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
Into space that is quite economical
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones are so seldom comical

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

One of my old favourites...


There once was an old man of Oban
Who consorted a tart in High Holborn
But her 'old tawny port'
Was too tight and too taut
And she gave him a bad case of Cockburn.


;)

 

[davewebbsbrain]

There was a young man from Brazil,
who swallowed a dynamite pill,
His heart retired, him bum backfired,
And his willy shot over the hill.

 

[Cricko2]

There once was a man from Nantuckett
Who's dick was so long he could suck it
one day he said with a grin as he wiped his chin
if my ear was a c**t I would f**k it!!