Vanity?

[Winkle]

I like to think I have been around a bit, you know, seen a few things preety much unshockable really, however over the last few months I have been hearing so many different stories especially when it comes to looking after oneself regarding appearance and grooming.
Last night A very good friend of mine (who is single, just) informed all of us that he was off to have his "back, sack, and crack waxed as he was off on a jolly with the lads next weekend to tenerife......... Now, come on pleassssssssse, some one tell me he was winding me because I would rather have my left testicle chewed off by a rabid ferret than contemplate having that done, has the world gone mad?
He was deadly serious and then politely acknowledged the fact that he has regular "pedicures" as well because his nails get brittle otherwise!!!! This bloke is a printer for ferks sake and half the time is covered in dirty ink and did not bat one eyelid when he was almost deluged in the tsunami of p***taking that followed.
The preverbial towel went in when he then informed all of us that his mates often get together for a detox weekend, including, mud bathes, hydotherapy and wait for it...........anal bleaching!........... Please someone tell me why would you have this done? I mean (not that I have seen it lately)in fact I cant remember ever seeing my R**gpiece, but come on, why, its just wrong!!!
I think he needs help, either that or he is gently in his own way coming out of the closet, but I now for a fact his girlfriend is stunning and after this holiday away with the lads he is thinking of settling down.
Is it me, or am I just old school or has time moved on? I mean, I shower everyday, spray deodrant on, give myself alittle groom, nasial hair , and them big tough f*****s that grow like barbed wire out of your ears, but thats it really.........oh and a splash of atershave! Do I need reeducating! As anyone else had these things done to them? Are you willing to let other zoners share your top tips for male grooming?
Answers please.

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Mate....a shower, quick squirt of Lynx under the arms, teeth scrub and exfoliate of the chin and neck is all that i do every day......can not see the need for all the other grooming but each to there own i guess and after all you did say he had a stunning wife so maybe there is something in it!!

 

[Southend_Lady]

Well the fact that some men can be pretty hairy in all of the above mentioned areas means that it wouldnt hurt for a bit of trimmage to them certain areas coz from a womans point of view its pretty off putting sometimes unless you like the Gorilla look. And if you think its painful then you are no man lol. Us women have to endure far worse pain than waxing so it wouldnt hurt you men to do it too!

 

[OldBlueLady]

Why would ANYONE chose to do this for a living though?

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Well the fact that some men can be pretty hairy in all of the above mentioned areas means that it wouldnt hurt for a bit of trimmage to them certain areas coz from a womans point of view its pretty off putting sometimes unless you like the Gorilla look. And if you think its painful then you are no man lol. Us women have to endure far worse pain than waxing so it wouldnt hurt you men to do it too!

Do you think that just a hairy chest is acceptable Sam? i think that is a marmite question for a woman!

 

[Vange Shrimper]

Sounds to me as if he's having you on even if he did seem deadly serious! lol

 

[Cricko]

Well the fact that some men can be pretty hairy in all of the above mentioned areas means that it wouldnt hurt for a bit of trimmage to them certain areas coz from a womans point of view its pretty off putting sometimes unless you like the Gorilla look. And if you think its painful then you are no man lol. Us women have to endure far worse pain than waxing so it wouldnt hurt you men to do it too!

I still wonder why men want to shave there Crack ....I am obviously niave.. Perhaps you can enlighten me Sam...

 

[SUFC_Al]

I still wonder why men want to shave there Crack ....I am obviously niave.. Perhaps you can enlighten me Sam...

to impress the Customs officer should you be stripped searched?

 

[DTS]

Well personally I use moisturiser every day without fail, I also take out any dodgey old long or grew eye brows once a week or so, I have a pubic trim for those that want to know about once a week and I clean behind my helmet once a month or so......Its a tough old regime I know.

 

[OldBlueLady]

Do you think that just a hairy chest is acceptable Sam? i think that is a marmite question for a woman!

Depends on the hair IMO! My ex (the B word one I was talking about the other day) was Spanish and had a very nice hairy chest, soft, dark and curly hair, but coarse hair in a less aesthetically pleasing colour might not have been so nice. And the Gary Glitter image NEVER had any appeal! Like I say, it all depends, so it's not quite as black and white as the marmite debate.

 

[Cricko]

Well personally I use moisturiser every day without fail, I also take out any dodgey old long or grew eye brows once a week or so, I have a pubic trim for those that want to know about once a week and I clean behind my helmet once a month or so......Its a tough old regime I know.

:puke How cheesy is that comment.

 

[MissWestStand]

Well personally I use moisturiser every day without fail, I also take out any dodgey old long or grew eye brows once a week or so, I have a pubic trim for those that want to know about once a week and I clean behind my helmet once a month or so......Its a tough old regime I know.

What about the people who didnt want to read that?

Once a month though? Surely it should be every day :stunned:

 

[BaileytheQuitter]

Well personally I use moisturiser every day without fail, I also take out any dodgey old long or grew eye brows once a week or so, I have a pubic trim for those that want to know about once a week and I clean behind my helmet once a month or so......Its a tough old regime I know.

Its a must. Cant have a build up of blue cheese.

 

[Vange Shrimper]

Its a must. Cant have a build up of blue cheese.

That's just minging!

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

Well personally I use moisturiser every day without fail, I also take out any dodgey old long or grew eye brows once a week or so, I have a pubic trim for those that want to know about once a week and I clean behind my helmet once a month or so......Its a tough old regime I know.

OMG......he must have his own cheese factory

Mate....i would advise more regular than that at least every other day....depending on whether you are a roundhead or a cavalier

 

[BaileytheQuitter]

I can still remember my year 7 sex talk.

"Make sure you use a bowl or hot soapy water and a tooth brush twice a week and clean under your foreskin."

Needless to say i was in histerics.

 

[SUFC_Al]

I can still remember my year 7 sex talk.

"Make sure you use a bowl or hot soapy water and a tooth brush twice a week and clean under your foreskin."

Needless to say i was in histerics.

as long as it's not your regular toothbrush......

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

I can still remember my year 7 sex talk.

"Make sure you use a bowl or hot soapy water and a tooth brush twice a week and clean under your foreskin."

Needless to say i was in histerics.

Tooth brush??????

:O

 

[DTS]

OMG......he must have his own cheese factory

Mate....i would advise more regular than that at least every other day....depending on whether you are a roundhead or a cavalier

And I would advise you take this with a pinch of salt mate...

 

[Vange Shrimper]

Tooth brush??????

:O

Wouldnt that be a bit painful?!