What's Your top tip?

[perth shrimper]

1 only please and it has to be original.



Small pet goldfish make ideal 'Bet Lynch' style earring alternatives in the event of an earring makers strike.

 

[Mad Cyril]

15 year olds - avoid broadcasting your ignorance to the world AND extend the wearable lifetime of your SUFC shirt by not having the names of 'legends' such as Rawle, Jenkins or Belgrave printed on the back.

 

[Bob Cratchitt]

If you are concerned by immigrants in your own country then just emigrate.

 

[Bob Cratchitt]

Dont go buying expensive toys for your kids just store existing toys in a safe place during the summer then at Xmas wrap them up and give them back.

 

[canveyshrimper]

Do not drop your cigarette butts o the ground - cockroaches are getting cancer.

 

[Firestorm]

Don't believe conspiracy theories, they are all circulated by government agencies to undermine the public

 

[Matt the Shrimp]

GENTS - even if you haven't started shaving yet, you too can create that "Miami Vice" look by smearing treacle on your face and then emptying the contents of several teabags on to it.  Instant "designer stubble" - and it smells nice too!

 

[RobM.]

Don't bother buying expensive maps - simply draw an arrow on a piece of paper and point it in the correct direction.

 

[The Artful Shrimper]

Create family amazement at breakfast by filling a promotional cereal breakfast box with collected cheap toys from macdonalds etc. Watch the kids face as heaps of toys spill out.

 

[Guest]

Never knock a nail in with a duck.

 

[Nick Prawnby]

Never discriminate between "good" and "bad" weather.

It could be considered Weatherist.

 

[Gremlin]

Don't buy and complete an address book, simply get a telephone directory and cross out the people you don't know.

 

[RobM.]

Never support a crap team like Col Ewe.


Oh sorry, that's not daft enough

 

[southend4ever]

Southend to win promotion.

 

[* ORM *]

This advice came too late for God.

Don't put fish in the oceans when Eve is taking a bath.

 

[Nick Prawnby]

To save on postage at Christmas, become Muslim for a fortnight.