Just to clarify, I'm not boycotting the club by any means. Not because Sturrock was sacked, not because Brown's in charge, not because RM is still at the helm and not because we're still to escape the death throes of League Two. I do, however, think that those points - particularly the last two - have made Roots Hall not what it once was. The atmosphere became very poisonous at times, with our own players on the receiving end of some quite vitriolic stuff and I've no doubt that had a significant impact on our home form. As much as we're the live blood of the club, we can't half be our own enemies at times and instead of rallying behind a common cause, there's been a fair amount of infighting and bickering.
Perhaps living away from the town and not quite being as involved with supporting the club as staunchly as I once was has meant my take on things is skewed or more cursory than before, but Roots Hall is a very different place to what it was not just during the Tilson reign, but during Sturrock's second season in charge. It's understandable, continuing financial woes and the absence of a shovel swung in anger have meant we're a more beleaguered bunch than we once were, but I'd like to think that people paying their hard earned to watch us play would have a vested interest in us winning, and would do everything in their power to help achieve that goal. That was true of the vast majority not so long ago, but not so much anymore.
Again, maybe I'm so far removed from the club that I'm seeing things that aren't there. Perhaps my scope is distorted more by what I hear or see written on here and in the press, but that was certainly the impression I got during my scant visits back last season. I find greater joy in watching park and grassroots football now as there's none of the backdrop or supporting dramatics. It's just football, and, at the end of the day, that was always why I went along.
For me, the most disenchanting thing about it is there's no reason to remain optimistic. There's little news emanating from the club regarding the stadium and I have no faith in Brown to restore faith in the stands. While Sturrock endeared himself to the supporters over time, Tilson galvanized the supporters in a way that only a "local boy done good" could. Perhaps we need another Tilson, another inexperienced but enthusiastic manager that each and every supporter could rally behind.
At the moment we're just sauntering along from one crisis to the next. Our apathy is a deathwish, but there's little to stop the arrest and nothing to galvanize the support into forming a common ground.