Joke Twitter Accounts

[BrettieAngell]

Big_Sam - Jesus. Keysy has a pair of knickers in his pocket. Claims they belong to that lineswoman. Never known anyone who lives so close to the edge.

We once had a couple of slags in the Sky studios and Keysy point-blank refused to let Martin Tyler **** on their tits. He's a gentleman.

:hilarious:

 

[Uncle Leo]

Big Sam again -

"Thrilled about my commentary debut. You realise how privileged you are when you can do your job while being naked from the waist down."

"Can't explain how exhilarating it is to be able to poetically describe a Drogba scorcher while gently tickling your testes at the same time."

"Andy Gray sent me a lovey text congratulating me. "Your whore wife owes you an extra special dinner when you get home," he quipped. A gent."

"Then he sent another one, saying "her tits where offside" and how the Queen is just "a **** King who doesn't even have a **** or nothing"."

 

[EastStandBlue]

I honestly don't know what I'd do on Twitter without TBS. He's a TwitGod amongst Men.

 

[EastStandBlue]

A promising start from http://twitter.com/#!/chrisdawdle

 

[Uncle Leo]

A promising start from http://twitter.com/#!/chrisdawdle

You're not wrong

"I cuddunt believe it when Jon Champyun tolt me that Fernando Toures was Yaya's bruthah. Youd never know to look at them like."

 

[Uncle Leo]

@RichKeysy is trying to be the new BigSam but hasn't made a particularly good start.

Not a joke twitter account, but US stand-up @robdelaney has to be followed. 'Worst chat up lines' was trending last night and he came up with "I don't know much about cars, but I'd like to drive one to your house & **** your mouth."

 

[EastStandBlue]

Tis a sad day in the Twittosphere...

RIP TheBig_Sam

 

[Beefy]

How come? He's been prolific in the last few days...

 

[Beefy]

Account suspended. Boooooooo

Free TheBig_Sam

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

Gutted been following BigSam for a while, the man is a genius. Wonder what finally got him the chop, the 'care bear w***' the other week was outrageously good.

 

[Uncle Leo]

Slipperduke's take on this scandal

http://iainmacintosh.wordpress.com/2011/02/19/dont-take-our-big-sam-away/

@depresseddarth @Its_Death are proving quite enjoyable at the moment

 

[EastStandBlue]

I'm still enjoying @chrisdawdle, who had some belting moments this weekend:

"Essayoon scores. empathetic pelanty!"

"Drobga pelanty 2-0, cool as custardcumber"

"Lamplard scores for Cheslea. Duzzent look like we're gonna have a pelanty shoot off after all."

 

[Hotman]

#freethebigsam

 

[Napster]

#barnabluegetsitwrongagain

 

[EastStandBlue]

Quite enjoying @ArsenalMedTeam...

"Vermaelen is still absent, he's using the time off to go travelling around India and 'find himself' #Arsenal"

"Diaby is doubly unavailable being suspended for decking Joey Barton and injured because he's made of paperclips and PVA glue #Arsenal"

 

[chapperzUK]

http://twitter.com/HasTorresScored

Simply has one tweet ...... "No."

 

[Pubey]

https://twitter.com/#!/homelessbebe

superb stuff!!!!

 

[Hotman]

Gutted been following BigSam for a while, the man is a genius. Wonder what finally got him the chop, the 'care bear w***' the other week was outrageously good.

whats your twitter name fella? x

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

whats your twitter name fella? x

DavidLaurie. I'm not much of a commentator though, more a voyeur; hence the hidden camera in the female toilet at work.

 

[Hotman]

DavidLaurie. I'm not much of a commentator though, more a voyeur; hence the hidden camera in the female toilet at work.

Pics or we don't believe you.