Moving abroad - What did you miss most or forget?

[MK Shrimper]

I miss SUFC games, proper sausages, decent lamb and cheese. You can but cheese but about 3x the price.

On the flip side it is 30 degrees at 940pm. I pay 15% tax and the fruit, veg and fish choices here are awesome. I can get virtually any Asian dish I want for street prices not takeaway mark ups

But ORM, don't you miss your family? I couldn't do what you do for any amount of money.

 

[Beefy]

I definitely went to the wrong country. I managed to find the one place with worse weather than the UK. Plus everyone has a silly accent.

On the flip-side the cost of living is way down now vs the UK. Couldn't believe I was charge £4.75 for a pint in Southend a couple of weeks ago. I beer in Dublin outside of Temple Bar is exactly the same price today as it was when I moved in 2009 (€5.50 at most).

 

[Beefy]

Christ, I wouldn't have the first idea how to approach this. I guess it depends on your relationship with the ex and how she'd feel taking your (her) son away for substantial periods of time. Six weeks is a long time for a mother to be parted from their child if you're talking all of the summer holidays.

I think I'd ask her to think about it, to not react straight away and stress that if she isn't on board then it won't happen. It's obviously difficult to know how reasonable she is and, to be fair, it is a big ask.

 

[SUFC_Ross]

Christ, I wouldn't have the first idea how to approach this. I guess it depends on your relationship with the ex and how she'd feel taking your (her) son away for substantial periods of time. Six weeks is a long time for a mother to be parted from their child if you're talking all of the summer holidays.

this is the thing, Summer Holidays, I would be over the moon for 3 weeks, and Christmas/New year would be another tricky one but I would be willing to be flexible to make it work, its the little half terms and 2 weeks here and there I'm more concerned about because 6 weeks without seeing him I think I would be able to handle and he would too(I hope) but I couldn't go to just seeing him twice a year! thus far into the talks with my mrs I have made more U turns than Theresa May! I can't make my mind up if its a good solid idea or if it's the worst idea I've ever mustered up!

 

[* ORM *]

But ORM, don't you miss your family? I couldn't do what you do for any amount of money.

Interesting question and right to ask it. I'm back 4/5 times a year. They out usually once a year and then there is Skype. Better connection on my underground home than on a train 3 miles from home. Is it the same? No. Can we live with it? Almost 5-1/2 years and counting

 

[MK Shrimper]

this is the thing, Summer Holidays, I would be over the moon for 3 weeks, and Christmas/New year would be another tricky one but I would be willing to be flexible to make it work, its the little half terms and 2 weeks here and there I'm more concerned about because 6 weeks without seeing him I think I would be able to handle and he would too(I hope) but I couldn't go to just seeing him twice a year! thus far into the talks with my mrs I have made more U turns than Theresa May! I can't make my mind up if its a good solid idea or if it's the worst idea I've ever mustered up!

I hope the current Mrs Ross is understanding if you stay in the UK because of your son. It's a quandery mate, and without knowing the relationship with the ex, it's difficult to say.

 

[SUFC_Ross]

I hope the current Mrs Ross is understanding if you stay in the UK because of your son.

She is and does completely understand, it was a long term plan that once my son was old enough to fly on his own and had his own life, around 15 years of age, we would then look to make the move but everything has just aligned for that opportunity to happen now and all just through connections I have made through holidays and connections she already had from previously living there, with most people moving abroad the biggest thing is settling the family, with my family the biggest thing would be settling me and not becoming a vacant father through my own poor choices.

 

[Firestorm]

Good luck...

Personally I couldn't do it, Although two of our kids are in other parts of the country, two are still local. We are looking to move soon but we aint going far....not with one grandchild and a local one on the way !!!

 

[Uncle Leo]

Exactly, Trying to get her to see things from my point of view has always been a major issue. I'm nervous to say the least, and at the end of the day as much as it may anger my current Mrs, If my ex says no chance that's all plans abandoned for the next 10 years.

Whereabouts in Spain? Easy access to an airport with plenty of flights back to the UK?

 

[Benfleet A1]

Has Spain got a extradition treaty with the UK? Sneaky but cures the problem.

 

[SUFC_Ross]

Whereabouts in Spain? Easy access to an airport with plenty of flights back to the UK?

Estepona, 45 minute drive to Malaga, hour drive to Gibraltor, Both have regular flights to the UK, Malaga even has daily flights in and out of southend airport so that's not an issue.

 

[Uncle Leo]

Estepona, 45 minute drive to Malaga, hour drive to Gibraltor, Both have regular flights to the UK, Malaga even has daily flights in and out of southend airport so that's not an issue.

Ah, I know it well! Good that you've got the Gib and Málaga options so easily to hand.

When I lived down that neck of the woods in the late 80s/early 90s (just when Southend were really good. Timing, eh?) the coast road was terrible and it took forever to get up to Málaga, but you're there in no time at all these days.

Reason I asked was that there may at least be opportunities for visits outside of the main holidays, which could lighten the burden somewhat. Best of luck. Or, indeed, buena suerte.

 

[RHB]

Tough issue there Ross. You're not going to know anything about anything until you have the talk with your ex. Once you're had the first one , and there will have to be others as well, you're not going to know what she will think. One thing's for sure, although you've discussed the problem with your wife, in your own head and with a few thousand SZ chums, your ex will be hearing it for the first time so will not have thought anything through. So sounds like baby steps to me. Tell her what your future could be, how you feel about the impact on your son and then ask her to think about what she would be prepared to do to help. She won't offer anything up immediately I reckon, but maybe after it has had a chance to sink in then maybe it will work out. Good luck, whatever you choose.

 

[* ORM *]

Ditto the above. Give her the news, don't ask for a response immediately and let her digest. No matter what has happened between you I'm guessing she'll do what's right for your son.

 

[SUFC_Ross]

First conversation went surprisingly well, She understands, she thinks its a nice idea and I just told her to digest seriously think about it and we will revisit next weekend when I drop my son off. that first contact went so much better than I had imagined but there will be a lot of questions to come which is to be expected.

 

[SUFC_Ross]

First conversation went surprisingly well, She understands, she thinks its a nice idea and I just told her to digest seriously think about it and we will revisit next weekend when I drop my son off. that first contact went so much better than I had imagined but there will be a lot of questions to come which is to be expected.

Thanks for everyone's help and input, greatly appreciated.

 

[londonblue]

First conversation went surprisingly well, She understands, she thinks its a nice idea and I just told her to digest seriously think about it and we will revisit next weekend when I drop my son off. that first contact went so much better than I had imagined but there will be a lot of questions to come which is to be expected.

BTW: A friend of mine is now married to a Spanish girl. When they were dating she was living in Barcelona, and he was in London. He used to buy weekend flights about 6 months ahead and would only pay about £30-40. Prices have probably gone up since then, but unless you're busy there's no reason why you can't pop over for the odd weekend between school holidays, and when your son is old enough there's no reason why he couldn't come and visit you. How cool would it be for him to finish school, go to the airport and be with you a few hours later? (Just make sure he does his homework whilst he's with you!)

 

[Massimo Giovanni]

And as a bonus Ross he might well become a fluent Spanish speaker/reader; AND that, having a major second language, is real BIG step on the way to education/employment and life success.
Sell it!

 

[* ORM *]

There are times when the Zone frustrates me. There are times when it doesn't. This is one of those times!