Question The how are you feeling thread?

[5ufc]

For me, someone who suffers with depression periodically.
I find this week has dragged me down to a point that I cant even face going to work or even having the energy to talk to people.

The closest I felt to this was losing a close relative who passed of a terminal illness a few years back.

Now don't get me wrong I know its not a matter of life and death, but for someone like me, who comes from a family of 3 generations following our club its heart renching.

We are currently watching the death of our beloved club.

It feels like we are slowly losing a huge part of our lives and very little we can do about it.

I just wanted to start this thread for anyone feeling low or needing to talk.

UTB's for as long as we still can.

 

[Rob Noxious]

Yes - these are hugely testing times for all of us associated with the club we love.

It's one of those scenarios though where unless you're protesting (and venting what you need to in this way), you have to step back and hope for the best.

That may sound defeatist - though I am a few hundred miles away & won't be there tomorrow - but I really hope the direct action/protest will help to influence RM to do the right thing by us. There are no guarantees, of course, but at the moment what other option is there?

 

[Callum]

All in this together my DM are open for anyone

 

[dbailey3]

Im currently living in a country that doesnt even really like football, let alone have any other Southend fans around to confide in. I go to work every day and dont get any sympathy (not that Im searching for any) from any of my coworkers.

Its, at times, nice to be so far removed that I can focus on other things but to be honest its boring not having a team to talk about. Southend is a huge part of my identity and no matter where I am it is pretty much always in the top three things I prioritise in my day. I really dont wanna lose that.

 

[IloveShrimp]

Yes - these are hugely testing times for all of us associated with the club we love.

It's one of those scenarios though where unless you're protesting (and venting what you need to in this way), you have to step back and hope for the best.

That may sound defeatist - though I am a few hundred miles away & won't be there tomorrow - but I really hope the direct action/protest will help to influence RM to do the right thing by us. There are no guarantees, of course, but at the moment what other option is there?

Personally I think any protests will antagonise him, they would me. The only way to hurt RM imo is in his pocket!

 

[discord]

My fondest memories are of me going to watch the Blues with my dearly departed dad, he always spoke passionately of the old days and all the great matches he attended as a young boy.
From Man City in the FA Cup and Bert Trautman's heroics to Billy Best, Bill Garner and Chris Guthrie.
Then the years when I could stand with him and cheer us on to Div 4 championship to Freddie Eastwood v ManU.
And the moment we both sat down in Wembley Stadium to watch Southend fulfill his only wish to see them play there, then to the tears in his eyes as Southend came out, something I'll never forget.
Passing Roots Hall today made me realize that these memories will have no substance if the club we supported was no more.
SO THANKS RON for putting all these wonderful memories on a precarious edge that threatens to to take all those memories I have of him and the great moments we both shared as father and son watching our beloved Southend United!

 

[OldWilliam]

Indulge me a while if you will.
My introduction to football was in the mid eighties. My dad wasn’t a football fan and didn’t follow a team. I had a school friend who was a Liverpool fan so I would join him and his dad watching Liverpool play their London away games.
I had great fun but it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to have my own team. So in 1987 I dragged my dad along to Roots Hall to give our local team a go. We stood in the north bank and watched David Crown make his home debut in a 0-0 draw against Walsall. Instantly I was hooked. I felt I belonged and this drab game was better than Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea or West Ham v Liverpool. Surprisingly it was the start of a love affair for my Dad as well. Not just for Southend but football in general.
We stood or sat in every stand at Roots Hall in the next few seasons until we settled in the East stand where we have remained for the past 25 seasons. We travelled the country to away games. We have laughed together cried together and got smashed out of our faces together (much to my mums and my wife’s displeasure on many occasions) We have gone through all the LDV vans finals, play off finals, promotions and relegations. Match day at Southend is my time with my Dad. It’s sacred. I have watched games with a sell out crowd and I swear there have been moments in these games when it’s been just me and my Dad. No one else. Regardless what our future holds I will always be grateful the Southend United has given us that.
The title of this thread is how are you feeling. The fact I am posting this at gone 2am is a clue. My youngest child is 5 years old and my only son. He hasn’t shown too much interest in football yet. There have been little glimpses. I have been waiting to take him to his first match when the time was right. A while back he was sat playing with his superhero figures and I heard him singing a song. I stopped what I was doing to hear him singing “we’re the Southend boys making all the noise everywhere we go”
When the preseason games came out I pencilled in the Bishops Stortford game to be his first. Plenty of room for him to run around and a gentle introduction to football. Of course my dad would be there. For the first time three generations of my family watching Southend.
So in answer to the question posed in the title of this thread. I am feeling lost and scared that I may not get the chance for my son to watch Southend United with his Grandad. I am worried that I have already seen the last Southend game with my dad without even realising it.
Anyway enough of me. Let’s me there for each other. Be kind and compassionate to fellow Shrimpers. Uncertainty brings out different feelings for all us.
UTB MARTINOUT

 

[BoyWonder2]

I’m trying, as best as I can, to distance myself from this all.

I don’t have a family connection to Southend unlike a lot of people on here. It wasn’t a family member who took me along for the first time, I don’t watch the games with family members or anything like that.

I came along to my first game with a friends dad, it’s his bloody fault I’m still here. I had a season ticket alongside my brother for years, but it’s just me now next to a couple of friends.

This pre-season I was going to bring my 3 year old to his first game, and I was really looking forward to it. He isn’t big on football, and probably wouldn’t sit through the whole 90 minutes, hence why choosing a pre-season match. I don’t think I will at the moment, which is sad. I want Southend to become a family affair, I want that to be precious time with my boy (hopefully both boys going forward). I then want my grandchildren to be Southend fans and have a long line of Southend fans. I hate that this could be the end. I’m not bothered about a Phoenix club, that would be me done supporting a football team. I do have Heybridge Swifts just round the corner, so can get my live football fixes there.

I have baby boy number 2 due in under a month. I wasn’t getting a season ticket next season, I probably will IF we are under new ownership, but even then I probably won’t be able to attend many matches at all.

I’m lucky that my life doesn’t revolve around Southend. I actually prefer running to football nowadays (never thought I’d have been saying that), I have a wife, I have a son and another on the way and I have a job where I work shifts so they do clash with Southend matches too.

It will be heartbreaking if we are booted out of the National League. It would be devastating if we are wound up by the courts, Southend have provided me with huge, huge highs, and some terrible lows. Southend’s result on a Saturday/Tuesday, would determine my mood for a long time. I was horrible to be around if we lost, even more so if I thought it was because of a ref instead of the opposition being better than us. After I split with my ex 7/8 years ago, I lost interest in football altogether, but it was returned. Now, by the time I get home from the ground, I’m back to “normal” whatever the result. If I’m at home or work when we play, and we’ve lost, I’ll go “**** sake” then that’s about it. That helps me.

It’ll obviously be worse if this summer is the end. I won’t have had the chance to inflict years and years of suffering onto my children through the choice of football team, that would be incredibly tough.

But, I know some people it will impact more than others, I know some have suffered terribly during this period. My DMs are always open. People are here to help, whether it’s people on here, or professionals, so please reach out.

 

[Barling Magna]

My heart goes out to those who are suffering mental anguish over the long drawn out death of our team. I've supported the Shrimpers for over 60 years and the club is an important part of my life. Perhaps luckily I've always been a big fan of cricket too and this being an Ashes season has proved a useful diversion from Ron Martin's Gotterdammerung.

Yesterday I learnt that one of my oldest friends does indeed have the Alzheimer's that I suspected. My experience (and I acknowledge it won't be the same for everyone) is that growing old really does bring a sense of perspective to all things. But of course that doesn't help you if you are young, lack a sensitive partner, work every hour God sends or, alternatively, lack employment, live in an unhappy home or an unhappy relationship, lack really close friends...... and Southend United is your one source of stability, companionship and sense of belonging.

So to those who are truly suffering I say....... well, what can any of us say?

My world collapsed around me thirty years ago when my first wife left me for a colleague. Dark days, darker nights...... but I found love again and can say that second time around marriage is great.

Would this personal odyssey apply to Southend United if it too leaves my life? Would supporting a phoenix club be better second time around? I would like to think so and that thought - they can bankrupt our club, throw us out of the league, dismantle it all...... but the spirit of Southend United will live on and will rise again even if it has to be Southend United (2024) or Southend United (1906) - and that thought carries me on through these desperate days for my club...... for our club.

 

[Floval Flyer]

Next season will (I hope) be my 45th since first attending a match at RH with my grandad. Since that day, I have circumnavigated the ground, standing or sitting in NESW, with school friends, pub mates, and my son, thus ending back to the West, where is all started...

Many, many fond memories - home and away, watching us play Liverpool in the snow in 79, title win under Dave Smith, beating the Mancs, many beery away games, that Wembley PO final…

Meeting many likeminded people who became good friends.

The thought of this being taken away , or of not having a football season to plan for is unthinkable, I’ve not really contemplated how I would feel if it ended here.

Things will never be the same again.

The survival of our club runs much deeper than one man’s financial gain.

Ron, just take an offer and f*** off !!

 

[JD]

Empty.

Just empty

 

[Booma]

I’m a casual follower, living a couple of hundred of miles away, but always want to see the club doing well, attending the odd local away game etc. I feel for those of you who I call proper fans, local season card holders, this must awful.

I’m resigned to the fact it’s all over, and gutted I won’t be able to take my 3 year old son to a Southend game, I had hoped to take him to Rochdale or Oldham away this season.

On a lighter note I'm terrified my son might grow up being a Man City or united fan….

 

[thenobster]

Although I'm not a regular visitor to rh, it's been a lifelong association with the club that I'm proud to say I follow and support in my own way. To be honest, if Southend were no more, my interest in football would be zero. I've no interest in any other team or league. If a phoenix club arose from the ashes, I'm sure I'll take an interest. But will never be the same.
Which ever way it goes, it's been an interesting 52 years. Glory hunter, I am not.

 

[turkishm]

Its the feeling that we can do nothing about RM vice like grip on the club. Other than going under and starting again free of him. There are worse things in the world i know but its still hugely depressing after 67 years as a fan.

 

[thenobster]

Yes - these are hugely testing times for all of us associated with the club we love.

It's one of those scenarios though where unless you're protesting (and venting what you need to in this way), you have to step back and hope for the best.

That may sound defeatist - though I am a few hundred miles away & won't be there tomorrow - but I really hope the direct action/protest will help to influence RM to do the right thing by us. There are no guarantees, of course, but at the moment what other option is there?

Too little too late mate. Ron is too proud... and probably too greedy.

 

[thenobster]

Ron in a few years

 

[Sparte]

Most supporters of other NL clubs will be busy planning the season ahead. Attending pre season games, looking at fixtures and arranging trips and weekends away to the better towns and cities! They will be working out how they think their teams will do, should win that, a point there, that’s going to be a tough ask! And that is exactly what we should be doing just ahead of a new season but we’re not and not likely to this late in the day.

I feel sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated! Being a football fan shouldn’t be like this but being a SUFC fan, it is. But I’m still optimistic that we will survive this somehow. Could be under new ownership or could be starting again as a phoenix club but one way or another, SUFC will continue…

 

[Fitz]

My mind is actually moving to a phoenix club now….starting at the bottom of the pyramid with Roots Hall purchased as part of a CPO by the council.

I think I would actually prefer this to all this agony…it’s really starting to mess with my mind. I was dead against the idea….but as time ticks on it’s seem like the only realistic option

 

[Liam AAS]

I am sad at the plight of the club but not depressed.

It is a national shame that we allow cultural institutions such as football clubs to be bought as commodities. This country needs to re-examine private ownership. People should be angry about what is happening to us and other significant local community assets across the country.

I am angry. Angry at Ron but angry at the system that allows people like Ron to persevere and suceed.

 

[yogi bear up the cagire]

I've spent so much time looking at SZ, I'll keep my comments as brief as possible. Since my first game ( v Manchester City 28/01/56 FA Cup) I have been hooked and no other team has become remotely close to my love for Southend United. I moved to France in1989 and my passion became even stronger with the distance between us. I saw it as a permanence in my life and always thought it would be so. On my return to England, although some friends have disappeared, I always found my old place, near the half-way line of the West Stand. Over the years I've only managed to see a small number of games , at the Hall and away. Wembley 2015 is still such a strong memory but now, sadly, feels so far away.
Martin is sadly a product of the society in which we live, a narcissist who cares only for his own wealth. He wallows in his own greed and avarice. Some have tried to appeal to his better side, unfortunately, I fear he doesn't have one. I always laugh when when I hear the words 'levelling up' from his ilk. What it really means is levelling up for the others, not for the likes of him.
The present situation hangs over me like a dark cloud. I have become obsessed with renewing my SZ page. I carry on with my life but our situation is never far from my mind and it gets gloomier as every day passes. The testimony of others brings tears to my eyes, I just fear they won't dry up any time soon.