Quote[/b] (Shrimp in a Kilt @ Nov. 14 2006,18:30)]We have two adopted kids, the younger had a traumatic first three years before she came to us so her behaviour was challenging. My wife started to take it personally, so she would give the kid a hard time - but in public she was great with her. This, coupled with some other very strange behaviours from my wife was bad enough that I was trying to get professionals involved, but frankly no one was believing me - to the extent that when I wrote to our GP in confidence, he told my missus that I had written to him about her. I was pretty much at my wit's end, because if I had walked out I almost certainly wouldn't have got custody of the kids, and as my daughter wasn't yet adopted, she would have gone back into the fostering system - another set of parents letting her down so I had no idea what to do for the best.
Eventually a friend called at the house unexpectedly when I was at work, and she caught my wife at her worst, and called social services. Because I now had a witness, they had to take things seriously but no one had any idea what was wrong with my wife. I had to leave a job I loved, and take part time work so I could stay close to the family and be main parent. Eventually, my Mother-in-law called to tell us that my wife's dad, who had died a couple of years before, (he had left the family when my wife was 2) had been diagnosed with Huntington's Disease. She had known for two years, but the thought that her daughter might have it had been too much to contend with and she hadn't been able to bring herself to tell us. My wife was tested, and she has HD*, which very much explains her symptoms and behaviour. This meant that I had to give up working and become a full time carer. While all this was going on my Dad died, followed within a year by my Mum, who died this March, and we were also involved in a court case where my daughter was a witness against a local man accused of child rape which was interesting in itself because of the intimidation from his family, eg getting my tyres slashed, threatening phone calls.
I have found to my suprise that dealing with my wife's illness and all its implications, having to give up work, being threatened over the court case, suddenly becoming effectively a single parent to the kids I can cope with OK. But the most stressful part by far was when I knew that there was something far wrong, and simply couldn't get anyone (or at least any healthcare professional) to take me seriously. :
And I have a big debt to Tilly and Brush and the team, because, though it might sound a bit silly or trivial, the success of the team over the past 30 months has helped keep me smiling while all this has been going on.
*
Some info about Huntington's