Question Funniest place you've ever woken up?

[Rayleigh Weir]

Face down in a plate of mixed starters in the Golden Moon - wearing a flower print dress and holding a mini-scooter... The Head Usher had also fallen asleep with his head balanced on top of a pint glass...

For non-stag party awakenings - I once went clubbing in Southend, wound up at a party in Rayleigh, but woke up the following morning in a bush in Chatham...

 

[Gremlin]

On a bed in an operating theatre of a Greek military hospital. Long and very painful story.

 

[Dick Bate's Protege]

In the cuddly arms of a fat Irish bird with a pool of my own blood laying next to me. Rock 'n' Roll.

 

[Ayrshire Blue]

In my mates bath, empty of course.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

I once woke up sitting on chair at the front of my house with a strange man holding a tea towel on my head covered in blood from head to foot with a crowd of around 60 the road closed off 2 ambulances 3 police cars and the bomb squad all on hand.
The worst thing was the whispers of OHH HES LOST HIS EYE and other such comments,when i looked done and saw all the blood i counted my nuts,1 and 2 all intact so i was then a happy bunny,happy days indeed.
Not drink induced but after a expolsion i did black out for 30 mins and woke up as above.

 

[tottenham541]

I once woke up sitting on chair at the front of my house with a strange man holding a tea towel on my head covered in blood from head to foot with a crowd of around 60 the road closed off 2 ambulances 3 police cars and the bomb squad all on hand.
The worst thing was the whispers of OHH HES LOST HIS EYE and other such comments,when i looked done and saw all the blood i counted my nuts,1 and 2 all intact so i was then a happy bunny,happy days indeed.
Not drink induced but after a expolsion i did black out for 30 mins and woke up as above.

zod that for a laugh.

 

[EastStandBlue]

zod that for a laugh.

 

[BoyWonder2]

Would have to be either my mates driveway (I wasn't even staying at his house) or on my kitchen floor when my bedroom is about 5 yards from there.

 

[davewebbsbrain]

In the middle of the road on a council estate in Basildon. Was lucky no one had got up early to go driving, really.

Craylands?

 

[duncan bulgaria]

Woke up in a few strange places after a boozy session , however i once woke up to my dad hitting me across teh head with the TV remote , shouting what is thi s....what is this ??

Found out shortly that I had got in p1sssed , come home and ate a bowl on frosties whilst watching TV ....i then proceeded to put teh spoon on teh tv stand and teh remote in the bowl and put it in the sink which was full of soapy water ....my old man was not a happy bunny when he had to dry it out with a hairdryer for 3 hrs solid !!

 

[united we stand]

Woke up in a few strange places after a boozy session , however i once woke up to my dad hitting me across teh head with the TV remote , shouting what is thi s....what is this ??

Found out shortly that I had got in p1sssed , come home and ate a bowl on frosties whilst watching TV ....i then proceeded to put teh spoon on teh tv stand and teh remote in the bowl and put it in the sink which was full of soapy water ....my old man was not a happy bunny when he had to dry it out with a hairdryer for 3 hrs solid !!

on a similar vein. When much younger woke up on settee by my day slapping me round the head and dragging me outside. Dad had never laid a finger on me before so didn't know what was going on . As I woke up properly outside my mum came out as well . At this point I realised tht there was smoke coming out of the front door. Aparently after a night out I had out on the sandwich toaster and fell asleep. The thermal cut off faield and it started melting into the worktop.
Dad had woken up for a **** in the night and saw the smoke . Luckily I didn't get into too much trouble as my mum asked why the smoke alarm ahdn't gone off , to which my dad realsied that he had taken the abttery out to use in something else.

Waking up under your desk at work becasue you have missed the last train home is not to be recommended

 

[southend4ever]

I had a night out in Canterbury, the last thing I remember is a couple of pubs before the club (photos suggest I was there) and I ended up waking up in a bed in Basildon. Surreal.

 

[Beefy]

Craylands?

Around that way, yeah.

 

[Davros]

Bugger, where is Wooly when you need him.

Went out for Woolys birthday, he got rather sick in Bakers, got chucked out, so i went out to help him to a cab, gave the cabbie an extra fiver to make sure he got home, and next day found out that Wooly had woken up underneath a speed camera on the A127.


My personal one is not as funny. Face first on the lounge floor clutching onto my kebab box.

 

[EastStandBlue]

It's not me personally, but a friend.

Anybody that knows about Sussex University will know that it's based in Brighton, but the campus is out in the middle of nowhere just off the A27 and most students get taxis to and from the town centre. It was Varsity night, and a load of us went out dressed as School Geeks (Glasses, comb-over hair, schoolboy hat and backpack).

This mate of mine managed to pull a Sussex Uni girl and ended back at her halls. Slept with her, then she got all tearful about how she'd cheated on her boyfriend... He felt guilty and left, but decided to get a drink first and inevitably nodded off in her kitchen. About an hour later, her flatmate came home and he woke up, explained what had happened, and this girl offered him a place to sleep. Ended up sleeping with her too.

About 8am the next morning, we get a text from him reading "low bat. need pick up. on a27 wearing hat."

Turns out that when the girl he'd slept with first went into her flatmates room for a cry and a chat, she found him naked in there and went bat**** crazy and kicked him out. All he could clamber together was his hat and shorts... So we drove down the A27 to be welcomed by him wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a hat, freezing his nuts off.

 

[BaileytheQuitter]

It's not me personally, but a friend.

Anybody that knows about Sussex University will know that it's based in Brighton, but the campus is out in the middle of nowhere just off the A27 and most students get taxis to and from the town centre. It was Varsity night, and a load of us went out dressed as School Geeks (Glasses, comb-over hair, schoolboy hat and backpack).

This mate of mine managed to pull a Sussex Uni girl and ended back at her halls. Slept with her, then she got all tearful about how she'd cheated on her boyfriend... He felt guilty and left, but decided to get a drink first and inevitably nodded off in her kitchen. About an hour later, her flatmate came home and he woke up, explained what had happened, and this girl offered him a place to sleep. Ended up sleeping with her too.

About 8am the next morning, we get a text from him reading "low bat. need pick up. on a27 wearing hat."

Turns out that when the girl he'd slept with first went into her flatmates room for a cry and a chat, she found him naked in there and went bat**** crazy and kicked him out. All he could clamber together was his hat and shorts... So we drove down the A27 to be welcomed by him wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a hat, freezing his nuts off.

That gets my vote for the best story so far.

On a similar note, someone I know through cricket was out for a night in Southend. Pulled a girl and left to go back to hers. When we saw him the next day we asked him how the night was, upon question his face fell glum. He'd gone back with the girl but woken up in the girls mothers bed and the girl was nowhere to be seen. I wasn't sure whether to give him stick or not.

 

[class]

I once woke up chained to this weird mechanism, and then this TV turned on with some puppet looking at me saying it wants to play a game......

 

[southend4ever]

Yes!

That is quality.

 

[ESG]

The east blacks at about 4.50pm last Saturday!

 

[EastStandBlue]

The east blacks at about 4.50pm last Saturday!

That's not that strange... I did that every other Saturday and a number of Fridays over an eight month period late last year and early this year.