Question Do You Know Dave The Shrimper?

[Den]

Dts is getting married on the 25th of this month, I'm sure you've all received your invites by now...if you haven't and you feel hurt by this rejection, then please feel free to share any kind of embarrising story about him or any general abuse will do. Any suitable stories or message may be read out (I'm best man) during the speach.

Come on lads, dish the dirt..

 

[Napster]

How about when we went up to Nottingham and he met some tart he'd been chatting to on Friends Reunited. Unfortunately he took one look at her in the flesh and after only a few sherberts with her and her kid, came to the match instead, but was promised all kinds of naughtiness after the game.

 

[EastStandBlue]

Last night, in the SZBB house, Dave had a few too many shandy's and ended up sharing a bed with OBL for the evening.

I awoke to sounds of rustling bedspreads and was so sickened by it, I passed out and have only just awoken.

 

[DTS]

How about when we went up to Nottingham and he met some tart he'd been chatting to on Friends Reunited. Unfortunately he took one look at her in the flesh and after only a few sherberts with her and her kid, came to the match instead, but was promised all kinds of naughtiness after the game.

Can I just point out I was never going to miss the match for a bit of muff. The rest of the story in fairness is totally true.

 

[Den]

Dts, when you say "My razor embraces my many faces" do you mean that one bic disposable you've been using for the last 6 years?

 

[BLUEBLOOD]

Not so much dirt, but i know his old man is more sociable than Dave

 

[DTS]

Dts, when you say "My razor embraces my many faces" do you mean that one bic disposable you've been using for the last 6 years?

Yes I do....You may get to meet him the night before my wedding at our all lads sleep over.

 

[Den]

it's more likely to tickle then cut me

 

[Den]

Can I just point out I was never going to miss the match for a bit of muff. The rest of the story in fairness is totally true.

now i hear the story again i remember this, but i thought you did get action? maybe this was another game?

 

[Sean 2]

Yes i know Dave the Shrimper.

And i can tell you the bloke is a right ******.
















Honest mate;)

 

[DTS]

now i hear the story again i remember this, but i thought you did get action? maybe this was another game?

You might be confused with either

Chester Away (Mark Gower and Freddy in a 2-2 draw)
Forest Away (Lost either 2-0 or 2-1)
Birmingham Away (Won 3-1 JCR,Freddy and King Kev)

 

[Smiffy]

Dave has a strange love for a former winger, Steven Clarke. As demonstrated many times over the years. Especially Mansfield away where Clarke came to collect the ball for a throw on, Dave in a fit of sheer uncontrollable love, ran to the sidelines, tried to fling his arms around him and tongue him, whilst repeatedly shouting "I loooooooooovveee you Clarkey"

Clarkey was not impressed, infact he looked quite scared actually, bless him.

 

[Napster]

You might be confused with either

Chester Away (Mark Gower and Freddy in a 2-2 draw)

You boned Mark Gower?

 

[DTS]

You boned Mark Gower?

Yes...good lover very considerate...

 

[Den]

i like the story when Dts was coming back from a game on the train and he thought palace's top boy was coming so he hid under a southend flag but it turned out palace's 'top boy' was my mate and his missus who is the palace mascot Alice The Eagle.

 

[Napster]

Yes...good lover very considerate...

He does spray it about the place.

 

[DTS]

Dave has a strange love for a former winger, Steven Clarke. As demonstrated many times over the years. Especially Mansfield away where Clarke came to collect the ball for a throw on, Dave in a fit of sheer uncontrollable love, ran to the sidelines, tried to fling his arms around him and tongue him, whilst repeatedly shouting "I loooooooooovveee you Clarkey"

Clarkey was not impressed, infact he looked quite scared actually, bless him.

Ah **** me that was a funny day....Up to Mansfield in the Smiffy mobile. We thought it was a lads trip and Smiffy brings his bird....Skinny drinking turbo shandys all the way up there...Grant with his smelly arse....Dawson had a row with some Stoke fans at the service..I told Liam Lawrences brother that Liam "Premiership" Lawrence was a useless ****, 30-40 Mansfields boys all in one corner and about seven of us and Smiffy bird at the time and Dawson wanted a crack at them..Clarkey doing 110mph on the way home.....Littleman sick on the way back....

Clarkey in fairness I think loved the support. Mansfield is really close to the pitch and it was easy to attempt a warming hug or two to cheer him on.

 

[DTS]

i like the story when Dts was coming back from a game on the train and he thought palace's top boy was coming so he hid under a southend flag but it turned out palace's 'top boy' was my mate and his missus who is the palace mascot Alice The Eagle.

Not actually true...

I was with Littleman, Genial Harry and Bobby Evans (RIP). One of the biggest sessions we have ever had as Harry won a crate of beer in the first pub. We drunk so much I think everyone passed out under the massive train crew blues flaf and you mate claimed we hid from Palace.

 

[Smiffy]

Not actually true...

I was with Littleman, Genial Harry and Bobby Evans (RIP). One of the biggest sessions we have ever had as Harry won a crate of beer in the first pub. We drunk so much I think everyone passed out under the massive train crew blues flaf and you mate claimed we hid from Palace.

Was that the famous Fink Brau mate?!

The worst beer I have ever had the displeasure of tasting.

 

[DTS]

Was that the famous Fink Brau mate?!

It was that day. I think we went Darlo. Naps will confirm as they were all there too. I brought the FInk Brau as it was a gift from a customer and I could give em away. However Harry won a crate of Carlsberg I think.