Jade Goody Funeral

[Thorpe Groyney]

Just quoting BBC News.

Releasing doves :D

They're not doves, anyway, they're pigeons dipped in Tipp Ex. Fact.

"Camped out overnight"? Judging by the look of them they spend every night out on the street anyway.

"Police escort to her house." Bet that's not the first time that happened.

 

[C C Csiders]

"Police escort to her house."

What is it a retro funeral? They stopped driving them as panda cars in the 70's. More likely to be seen in Mondeo's or Volvos (sorry for the female genitalia link at such a sad time) these days.

Elton John shown up yet?

 

[J]

She's gone. Ding dong.

 

[Thorpe Groyney]

That reminds me of the best bit of cricket sledging I've ever done.

A few years ago I was turning out for Basildon thirds. I'm a bowler by they were short of batsmen so I was pushed up the order. There was this bowler and I couldn't get near him, it was like trying to swat a bullet with a straw.

The bowler walks up to me after about the fourth time and said "Do you want me to put a bell in it for you?" then turns away.

Next ball, I've just decided to off-drive whatever the ball is. To my immense relief it's pitched in just the right place for me and it races away for four runs.

I walk up the wicket, patting down an imaginary bit of dirt on the pitch with my bat, look the bowler straight in the eye and say rather loudly "Ding furking dong."

Even the umpire chuckled at that. I, however, reflected on the sadness that the funniest thing I'd ever say was heard by just two people ....