****ting your pants

[duncan bulgaria]

I have had the great pleasure of doingthis twice in my life time so far and would like to hear from any one with a decent story , cos lets be fair they will always be good stories if a **** in your pants is involved .

Reason i'm starting this thread is at my pals stag we stripped him off at Ascot and he had 2 of the largest skid marks known to man in his undercrackers .

My 2 times were once i was on the Dodgems at Peter pans and some little ****er whacked into me from behind and imust of been in a relaxing stance , as it just flew out right into my crackers .....bad times , hobbling on the train home stinking of **** !!

Second time was when lived with my folks and my mum was in the kitchen and i was lying on the sofa with just my dressing gown on and nothing else , I just very casually lifted up both legs to let out a sneaky one and i proper shat myself , I had to do the walk of shame past my mum holding the Drresisng gown up like a nappy whilst trying to get to the loo , needless to say that gets bought up every christmas when the family are around .....same as when my brother shut his **** in his sock drawer , i'll save that story for anotehr time .

 

[MK Shrimper]

Nice. The only time I did this I was in infant school and I was too scared in assembly to ask Miss if I could go to the loo.

 

[EastStandBlue]

I've got two quite funny stories, nothing to do with me ******** myself though.

In my first year at Uni, during freshers week, the people from my flat got together with people from a few other flats... Just to get to know eachother and have a good crack at it.
During the second week, one of the lads got a bit of a name for himself for getting disgracefully hammered, not knowing what he was doing or where he was and just generally being a right state.
One fateful night, there was about 20 of us in his flat when he stumbled in, alone, at 4am mumbling to himself and mentioning that he shat himself. He stormed past a few people, barging a poor girl out the way, and into his room where he locked the door. 20 minutes passed and he came out completely changed from head to toe.
He might've got away with it, if he didn't leave his ****** pants on his floor when he went to his lecture the following morning.

Another time, this Irish kid who was a bit new to binge drinking and couldn't quite hold his Guiness was disgracefully drunk and fell asleep on his kitchen table. I was seeing one of his flatmates at the time, walked in with her and saw his two mates filling his pants up with chocolate sauce. He woke up, didn't realise anything and went to bed... Only to be woken up 30 minutes later by a fire alarm that'd been set off.

Keeping his boxers on, and that's it, he walked downstairs completely oblivious to the huge brown stains of chocolate sauce. He never did shake the tag of ****Break and left after the first year. Shame.

 

[canveyshrimper]

I once discovered I had diarrhoea when I took my bicycle clips off.

 

[Aberdeen Shrimper]

I discovered I had diarrhoea when I learnt to talk!.

And its been going on all these years?

WOW

 

[canveyshrimper]

And its been going on all these years?

WOW

Yup, and it still has the colour and consistency of piccalilli.

 

[Alexis_SUFC]

Luckily this doesnt involve me but I'll tell the story anyway.

In my freshers year at uni after a big night out we decided to carry the party on in someones flat. Everyone was pretty hammered as it was but one of the lads was far wose than the rest of us, now this lad already had a bit of a reputation as he was always a state and when he was a state he would often get naked in random places, hence his nickname being 'naked'.
'Naked' has a missus at the time and we were in her flats kitchen, after a while 'naked' passed out on the big kitchen table, we played a bit of buckaroo but generally left him alone to sleep it off, after a few hours everyone left to go to bed.

In the morning I was round a friends flat when I saw 'naked' looking rather embarrassed and holding a kitchen chair as he walked past the window. It turns out in his drunken state he woke up in the middle of the night not knowing where he was and took a squat over one of the chairs before falling back asleep only to be woken by the cleaner coming in the morning. Suprisingly his missus didnt break up with him for it but they didnt last long as a few weeks later he ****ed in a kebab shop, she couldnt forgive him for that though.

 

[Pubey]

not quite a **** your pants story... but one guy in the block next to us in the first year had a massive falling out with his flatmates and left uni after only 4 weeks. His leaving "present" was to do a dump in the toaster. the smell of burnt **** lingered in the air for the rest of the year, it was atrocious!

 

[Shrimper]

I was told that when my parents were travelling around Southend looking for a house with my young brother, they were looking at a house in Rochford, i think. He walked in the door in his nappy and just shat himself and it just dribbled down his legs and onto the carpet. Apparently. I don't think i've ever shat myself but i remember when i was young i accidently left a **** in the bath. :D

 

[duncan bulgaria]

Also forgot to add that i took a pic of my pals skiddy pants ready for his wedding on Friday , good thing is that he doesn't even know i took the snap .

Roll on Friday !!

 

[* ORM *]

Once in living memory. Never have a curry when your leg is in plaster and you only have an upstairs toilet. I think I made it about 3/4s of the way up the stairs, fortunately managing to retain the runny contents in the boxers and trousers despite the lack of bike clips.

On holiday years back with a few mates. One of them went to do the business and somehow ended up with skiddies on the back of his shirt. As a ladies man he was doing his usual chat ups for ages and wondering why his magic charms were having none of their usual effect. The rest of us were naturally laughing our heads off for ages particularly when he thought he was the beez neez strutting his staff on the dance floor with people pointing and clapping along until some lamebrain in the club pointed out the problem. I've not seen a man turn that red, that quick and sprint that fast out of a club in a long while. And naturally that was a story not to be missed by the best man on his wedding night.