West Londoners are clearly the worst. The whole place is full of braying sloanes who believe that the centre of the known universe is located somehwere between Sloane Square and Parsons' Green, and who can only afford to live there because mumsie and popsie can put down half a million in cash for a bedsit. People still wear red jeans and turn up their rugger shirt collars there, for heaven's sake; and it is no coincidence that the most hated of urban vehicles - the huge urban 4x4 - is known as a Chelsea tractor.
Next worse are North Londoners. When you reel off the neighbourhoods filled with pretentious so-called intellectuals, all of them bar Notting Hill (which is in West London, see above) are in North London: Hampstead, Highgate, Primrose Hill, Islington etc. etc. Scattered amongst the knitted-cardigan organic Grauniad readers' enclaves are some truly horrid parts of town - notably Haringey to the East and Harlesden to the West... parts of London which I wouldn't visit if you paid me. And then there's Camden Town, truly the crap-hole of London and filled with the most loathsome flotsam and jetsam wandering around in thai-dye trousers and Doc Marten boots. Anyone who has ever read the Private Eye cartoon of "It's Grim up North London" would know that the rest of the country hoots with derision at North Londoners... and rightly so.
East London and its inhabitants are really only let down by the existence of West Ham in that part of town. From the food and edgy design of Brick Lane to the flowers of Columbia Road to the regeneration pouring into the area with Canary Wharf, Eurostar and the Olympics, East London is a great part of town - and its inhabitants are, by and large, pretty normal.
South London and South Londoners rock. We give off the image of being filled with Tenessee Fried Chicken wrappers and drugs heists in order to keep the snotty inhabitants north of the river away from all of London's best-kept secrets. Borough Market, Greenwich Park, the Royal Observatory, Blackheath, Clapham, Richmond, Battersea Power Station, Eltham Palace, Imperial War Museum, the London Eye... you name it, all the best stuff is south of the river. Including me, obviously.
The City kind of loses out, really. There are only 9,000 inhabitants in it anyway, and most of them are cloistered in the Barbican, so it can't be said that they have much of an identity, do they?!
