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  1. Slipperduke

    Garry Cook's Gamble

    I don't want to appear rude or patronising, but something has been bothering me for a while now and I need to get it off my chest. Does Manchester City's chief executive Garry Cook actually understand how football works? I only ask because the evidence is really starting to pile up now. He...
  2. Slipperduke

    Money Can't Buy Honour

    Footballers are a funny lot. Sometimes, it's like they have their own language. In their world an 'egg' or a 'nugget' means a foolish person, 'beans-on-toast' means the goalpost and 'I want to play Champions League football,' actually means, 'To hell with that, I want to earn more money in a...
  3. Benfleet A1

    A Recovery Nightmare

    It all started normally. Flat battery in South Woodham Ferrers, clutch gone on an VW Camper in Westcliff another flat battery at Southend Hospital. All run of the mill stuff. Then I got a call for an Ford Scorpio in Pitsea with a wheel bearing gone and needing recovery to Great Yarmouth. That'll...
  4. TBV_Dan

    Zone Update Revelling it in - 25.3.09

    This weeks 'Revelling It In'
  5. Slipperduke

    History Will Reward Liverpool

    This week, a friend of mine bound for pastures new bestowed upon me her collection of old football magazines. I can't begin to explain how exciting this is to someone like me. You see, my friend's magazine collection is taller than her and it stretches back through the years to historic...
  6. Slipperduke

    SZ Novella - Chapter Two

    Chapter One here http://www.shrimperzone.com/vb/showthread.php?t=49964 Chapter Two - Making Your Way In This World Today, Takes Everything You've Got. Shackleford glanced back down the alleyway and patted Ricey on the back. "It's too dangerous to talk here. Come on, I'll take you somewhere...
  7. Slipperduke

    SZ Novella - Chapter One

    Inspired by the truly awesome work of the Shrimperzone Writer's Bureau, I've been clattering away on a full version of this dystopian nightmare, attempting to give it the depth that it deserves. MK Shrimper planted a bug in my head and I really hope that I can do it justice, not least because...
  8. fatshrimp

    Question Insurance advice

    About 6-8 weeks ago I claimed on my home contents insurance for a replacement for my Wife's lost watch. She was convinced she lost it outside, but we turned the house upside down anyway and couldn't find it anywhere. I paid the excess and the insurance company replaced it without any fuss...
  9. IGNORE Celebrity Big Brother 2009

    I vote we ban all threads related to this pile of **** and fine anyone for approaching this subject. After this one of course.
  10. A blatantly racist-stereotype joke.

    An Oirish Story. An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems.... 'Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot'. So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. 'Incredible'he says, 'there is a £20 note lodged up here.' Tentatively...
  11. Slipperduke

    Let's All Laugh At City

    Do you remember when the Abu Dhabi Group completed their takeover of Manchester City? It was all very exciting. Thaksin Shinawatra, one of the stupidest men to control a football club in recent years, was edged out and replaced by a very large pile of money and some amusing promises. Not for...
  12. steveo

    What to get her for Christmas

    Anyone else get fed up wandering round shops looking for the perfect gift for the woman who has everything? My wife has always bought me and the kids Advent calenders.A few years ago she complained we didnt get her one, so I had an idea. I got 25 boxes, and bought 25 gifts. These range from...
  13. platini and the credit crunch

    platini has now stated new rules may be put in place to curb clubs from losing their identity,look at arsenal managed by a frenchman with most of the squad overseas players. personally it should be a max of 5 overseas players per matchday squad thus allowing homegrown talent to shine. a...
  14. SUFC_Al

    The Return of......

    The Krypton Factor. Loved the show as a kid and hope ITV don't make it in to a pile of pooh. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7637141.stm
  15. DoDTS

    40 Years ago (Sunday)

    Thought this might be of Interest: Swansea Town Away 2-2 Saturday 14 September 1968 Div 4 A fortnight later and back to South Wales, strange the tricks the fixture list plays sometimes, a good trip uneventful, having a doze on the way back home when the...

    Battle of the Sitcoms - Quarter Final No 3

    Morning all once again, i feel i ought to apologise for the inconsistant timings of the threads this week ... but i'm on holiday and i'm not your slave so you can all feck right off Today SHOULD be a foregone conclusion, but i fear the landslide could be in the other direction :'( In the Red...
  17. Harold Bishop Killer

    How To Shower

    How to shower like a woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry basket according to whites and coloureds. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental...
  18. Slipperduke

    Claude Makelele

    When Roman Abramovich first pumped Chelsea full of roubles in 2003, it sparked a frenzied shopping spree that would have put Coleen Rooney to shame. Hundreds of millions of pounds were splashed out on an array of talent, but I very much doubt if any of it was put to better use than the £16.8m...
  19. ms brush

    past programmes & stuff I dont have space for any more

    Hi all Apologies if this is in the wrong forum - it just wasnt obvious where it should go...! I am in the process of clearing out my house (dont ask!) and have come across a whole pile of past home match day programmes (not really looked yet so cant tell you whats there - but think there is...
  20. Harold Bishop Killer

    Workers Compensation

    I so hope this is true!! This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board... Dear Sir, I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I...