Coming Home

[Ron Manager]

I'm not about to have SZ make major life decisions for me and my family, however I am interested in what people's opinions are. I seriously want to come home from Australia to live back in England. I know it's only been 6 months or so since I left but the homesickness is just too much and I really want to return. Don't get me wrong, I love Australia and so much about living here is fantastic. But you know how sometimes at the end of even the most fantastic holiday it's nice to get home? Well that's how I'm feeling now. Sunny weather, beaches, BBQs etc etc are all very well and good but I miss HOME.

Don't bother with any nationalistic rants about how great England is - I'm fully aware of the good points the country has and I'm all too familiar with it's faults. The thing for me is people. Friends and family which make the cold weather, dark winter days and overcrowding tolerable. I honestly underestimated how important those people were to me. Of course I knew it would be hard but never realised quite how gut wrenching the feeling is. I know now why they call it home sickness, I honestly feel physically ill sometimes as a result of it.

Feedback from other ex-pats in particular would be great as they've been through this. Am I being stupid considering jacking it all in so soon? Did other ex-pats feel the same way but got over it after a period of time, or does it stay with you?

Like I said, it won't be the comments from a forum which will make my mind up for me. There are so many considerations to take into account, for a start my little girl loves it here and even at 3 years old has said she wants to live in Australia and only go back to England for a visit. I've also got to consider the job prospects back home. However I'd be genuinely interested in what people think and any personal experiences some may have to relay....

 

[OldBlueLady]

No personal experiences, but in the current climate over here, surely you are better of there for at least the next few years?

 

[canveyshrimper]

I've been an expat, but from my perspective I've only worked abroad on contract, therefore there was always a finishing date if I wanted or I could extend my contract if I wished. I also didn't have a young family to consider, so I was always happy to come home at the end of a contract. I did three stints and to the end of each I really yearned to get back to darkest Essex.

Having said that an Uncle & Aunt of mine became 10 pound poms in 1965 and they moved to Adelaide, they stayed for 2 years before becoming unbearably homesick and came back. On their return and after a year or so they got "reverse" homesickness and returned to Adelaide after a couple of years, and it's where they have been ever since, apart from regular visits home. They've raised their children there, and now their grandchildren are all growing up, and soon there will be great grandchildren.

It's a position I wouldn't want to be in particularly with a young family, and hope that you all make the right decision for you all. Good luck mate.

 

[Berrichonne shrimper]

For me the may reason for living where we live is the kids life now and futre life,its so much better here in my opion so here we stay.
Andy dont just put your feelings to the front but add your family into the mix and work out where it would be better for you all,good luck its a toughy.

 

[pickledseal]

Go on, put up a poll and leave it to that to make up your mind ;)

 

[jassyfa1]

What would happen if you did come back? Where would you stay? How would the missis take it ? After all she is Australian and she could get home sick. Have you seen how bad the unemployment is over here, if you want a job its basic wages.
Could you not come back over for an extended visit for a month or two?

 

[Uncle Leo]

My family moved out to Spain in 1988 when my Dad got a job in Gibraltar.

There was a fair bit of homesickness at first - and I appreciate that Spain is just round the corner from the UK in comparison to Oz! - but as a family we stuck at it and went on to make some wonderful friends stay out there for a good few years.

Whatever you decide - good luck fella!

 

[shrimperman]

I was away for a full year, but similar to those so far, I knew when I would be coming home. I have to say that not knowing when or if I would be coming home would've made it alot harder for me. At first I was counting down the days until I could go home, when I'd past half way I didn't want to go home as I was loving every second. My guess is that you just havn't found 'home' out in oz yet. I know this sounds very obvious, but when I was having troubled moments during my first 6 months, I use to set targets for myself. Maybe if you knew the next date you were visting the UK, or had friends coming over to visit, I'm sure you'd find it more achievable.

 

[BalmainShrimper]

I first left the UK to live in Sydney in 1999, and stayed till the end of 2001. In that time I had my homesick moments: first 3 months feels like you're on holiday and everything's great, then 3+ months I got really homesick. In all it took about a year to make some friends and feel secure and happy.

Came back to UK at beginning of 2002, and in 2007 came back to Sydney - for good this time.

So I've come back and forth. My advice would be that I think you need to stick it out at least a year. Feeling homesick is natural, and it does take about a year to properly "settle".

In my opinion Australia is a much better place to be from a standard of living perspective. We're also shielded somewhat from the global financial crisis, especially compared to the UK which, from what my friends tell me, is in really bad shape.

Of course you can't replace friends and family. That's the toughest part and no amount of bbqs, surfing and sunbathing is going to replace that. But there's Skype, email, phone and at the end of the day the UK is only one day away.

 

[The General]

My family moved out to Spain in 1988 when my Dad got a job in Gibraltar.

There was a fair bit of homesickness at first - and I appreciate that Spain is just round the corner from the UK in comparison to Oz! - but as a family we stuck at it and went on to make some wonderful friends stay out there for a good few years.

Whatever you decide - good luck fella!

A family of Ladbrokes employee's!? Money must be good out on the rock!

;)

 

[BalmainShrimper]

Also I would play the long game and hedge your bets. Stay for four years and get your citizenship. Then you (and your children) can come and go as they please. So if you ever get a change of heart (like I did) it's much easier to get back in and not have to go through the whole visa process.

I wish I'd done that first time round...

 

[Desert Shrimper]

I moved my family out to the UAE about a year ago and would agree with what BalmainShrimper has to say. The first 3 months is pure honeymoon period, then there is a time when it stops being a holiday and reality sets in: you're thousands of miles away from your mates and your family - and that's hard. For me, it was also about 6 months in but it passed and I began to remember why we were out there and see all the benefits once again.

My advice would be not to do anything while you're still in this kind of state about it - I would at least hold off for another 6 months and give it a real go in that time. If you still feel the same then take another look at it. Whatever happens, no regrets....

 

[Interpol Shrimper]

I'd move back to Essex tomorrow if circumstance allowed.
There is not a day goes by when I don't class myself as homesick for Essex, although obviously my exiled distance is considerably lesser than that of Australia. In fact, the Mrs has recently tried to suggest Canada or New Zealand as potential countries to emigrate to. I suspect, however, that I would feel like you do now and after a few months want to make the move back to the UK. Plus, it would probably bug me to hear my daughter speak with a Candian or New Zealand twang as it does when I hear elements of strong Scottish/Glaswegian!!!

I would bear in mind what people say in terms of the current financial issues. It might be an idea to ride out the storm in Oz until things settle down here in terms of job opportunities and house prices.

Good luck with whatever you decide though!

 

[McNasty]

Libertine, you can't come back ---- someone else has your season ticket seat.

 

[Yer Blues]

libertine - hope this helps http://tinyurl.com/2g9oy8

 

[Ron Manager]

Libertine, you can't come back ---- someone else has your season ticket seat.

It's not you bunch of reprobates I miss though, I'd just sit somewhere else ;)

 

[Thorpe Groyney]

I really believe for the moment at least, bearing in mind the economic climate and the quality of life you can provide for your family at present, that you should just stay put for a while.

The clincher for me was your three-year-old saying she wants to stay there and just visit the UK. Maturity way beyond her years. That's the perfect compromise.

 

[canada shrimper]

Mornin Andy
When I first came out here it was just like vacation for the first little while.It took me a bit to figure out people and how things worked over here.After about a year I missed my friends and family and footie more than ever, but over time it has eased.Yes I still miss everything about Leigh and sufc, friends and family still mean as much now if not more but would I live back in England ?Not if I could possibly help it. I say to you stick it out for a bit longer and once you have realy settled in you may find a change in yourself and the world around you. Don't give up to soon

 

[Uncle Leo]

A family of Ladbrokes employee's!? Money must be good out on the rock!

;)

Nothing to do with Ladbrokes Kev. My Dad worked for a firm of accountants. Ladbrokes didn't have an office in Gib until well in to the 1990s and I've never had anything to do with that operation.

 

[sufc_girl]

I'd say stick it out for a bit longer as at the moment you're just going through the normal homesickness stage. It's the same as everyone else has said, first few months is the honeymoon period then after than reality kicks in that you're staying there longer than that, you're living there, making a life there etc. Once that really kicks in and you find friends out there who make you feel just as comfortable as the ones back in Englan then everything will click into place. Yes you'll still miss England - or at least the friends and family (and football) there - but it's worth it in the long run.

For me it's just got to the point where I could see myself staying out here longer than I planned to as I've made some really good friends and feel at home here. 2 months ago I was ready to pack it all in, including my degree, and just come home as I missed it so much. But then I went home at Christmas and when I came back to people who I knew I liked, liked me and I felt comfortable with then it was totally different. As much as I miss everyone in England (and I do - a lot) and the football, and some things about living out here annoy me (like constantly going on about my accent - although I suspect I'll miss that when I go home!) if I had the money I would be staying out here a little longer. The annoying thing for me is that I've started to feel like this recently (like the past month) and I now have only 6 weeks left!

So all in all, I would say stick with it for at the very least another 6 months. Find your home away from "home" and everything will click into place.