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If they could play for England so could I....


"Good morning everybody........"
Feb 11, 2005
I'm sure this has been done before, but following on from the best XI's in the ashes thread it could be thinking what utter dross I have had to witness whilst watching England over the past 20 years of my cricket watching.

Off top of my head, here is a team to send shivers down my spine....

1. Lathwell (feel sorry for him as it was all too much...but he couldnt even find a helmet that fit his head properly and looked woefully out of his depth).
2. Gallian - Back in the glorious days when whoever was captain or coach would try to pick people from their own counties. (Even Essex were not above this....hello Mark Illott).
3. Aftab Habib - Would people feel uncomfortable if I suggested this may have been a selection to help appeal to our ethnic minorities? I think he only had about 8 first class centuries before his call up. Did he get called up or was I only dreaming?
4. Usman Afsaal - as above. Althought apparently had an added appeal of turning up for his debut in a sports car and shades.
5. Ian Ward - Seems a decent bloke, and unlucky to be picked for the series against the all conquering Australia (possibly greatest side ever). Still, with the increase and improvement in analysis and coverage, having it shown in slow motion that he didnt hold the bat properly didnt really help him out....

6. Mark Ealham - throwback to the days when cricketers could be fat. Also in an era when we were looking for and labelling everyone 'the next Botham' I dont think anyone even bothered trying to compare this chipmonk to the great man.

7. Warren Hegg - honest county pro, never going to look remotely up to it on tour to Australia.

8. Schofield - what on earth was happening when he was picked - barely played a first class match and looked like a nob (or a knob). Non spinning leg spinner.

9. Mullaly - great entertainment for his carefree batting

10. Darren Pattinson - Is he even playing for Notts anymore?

11. Mike Smith - A horse for a course pick - just looked up his test figures - 0-86.

Shame I cant get Richard Dawson in there. I was almost ashamed to be English when I was watching the 2002-03 ashes and he was playing.