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Job or Househusband....?

dashman

Dash De Shrimper
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
1,360
Location
P. Brush Territory
Difficult personal dilemma.

I feel I need to support my clan by getting a job, food on table etc. ST's on the credit card already! Mortgage to pay but missus covering things at present.

However I really enjoy being around them and doing those chores about the house that all fathers know exist. I have always been a 'hands on' dad, nappies, puke and illnesses etc.

Surviving just but can I rely on partner to financial support? Housewives do it, so why do I feel guilty?

I didn't want to form a another poll on here as it seem's we have alot already!

Dash
 
Joined
Feb 17, 2004
Messages
19,752
Location
G69
I'd love to do that.
She WON'T finish her qualifications though to allow this to happen though & unless either of us win the lottery, we're both lumbered with having to work (although she's got the better deal in that respect as she does 3 days a week p/t).
 

Nobby Snide

Guest
sorry dash..whats this got to do with SUFC? wrong section methinks.

Btw, if youre both happy...carry on doing it, i did! and I loved every second. I wouldnt have changed it. Just the wife, and I did that later!
 

fredheim_holm

Where art thou Tes
Joined
Mar 3, 2006
Messages
8,149
Location
London
Nothing wrong with doing that mate. I know what you mean, I'd feel awkward not bringing in the bread but there's no disgrace in it.

Personally I'd rather get a job and let the wife do it, but if it works for you thats all that matters.
 

Rayleigh Weir

Not just a roundabout⭐
Joined
Aug 2, 2006
Messages
1,192
Funnily enough, I was talking to the missus (mine, not yours) about this last night. I'd love to be a house-husband, and if work ever got too much for me I'd seriously consider giving it a go. The wife earns a good wage and in her line of work is able to up her hours and pull in more than enough to support us both.

Don't be put off by social stigma - most couples need to both be working these days, so the prevailing attitude is driven by need rather than choice - look upon it as some sort of coup that you are financially astute and competent enough to carry it off...
 

DTS

The Business
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
16,173
Location
In a world of my own.
I tried to convince Mrs DtS to keep working once the baby is born as she earns a mint and I was on redundancy notice but she was having none of it.

I think as long as your Mrs is happy with the arrangement then why not. There is a lot to be said for raising your own kids rather than palming them of on a Nanny. Sure most men will be envious.
 

davewebbsbrain

Webby⭐
Joined
Aug 17, 2005
Messages
22,502
Location
Eastwood
I have the upmost respect for my wife...She has the hardest job in the world looking after our 2 kids, one is nearly 6 and the other is nearly 2. I have had the odd day where I look after them solely while the wife shops for the day etc but I don't think I could or would want to do it full time...Ultimate respect for any woman/man who stays at home and looks after the kids.

It is the hardest job in the world...any without pay!!
 

OldBlueLady

Junior Blues Coordinator⭐
Joined
Dec 27, 2007
Messages
48,333
Location
Benfleet
Dash, if you can manage financially for the time being, there's absolutely no problem with being a house husband as long as you enjoy it. Speaking from my own experience, I worked part time at the pre-school my children went to for a couple of mornings a week, just to keep my sanity, which fitted in nicely with always taking mine in and being available to meet them after school. It also allowed me to go in easily for assemblies and parent interviews and to become very involved with the school PTA. These hours were extended as the children got older, but still fitted in nicely.

While running the PTA for 6 years, I'd have loved to have a few house husbands on the committee to help with fund raising!

Once my daughter joined her brother at seniors, I returned to college to get a level 3 NVQ with a view to taking on a much more senior position within the pre-school. This didn't work out due to the manager being a right cow and shafting me good and proper over money, but I was lucky enough to find a place in a local school in learning support. This means I obviously still get my school holidays and has really proved to be the best move I could have made.

I also have friends where the husband stayed at home as the wife was the higher earner. Again, he was able to involve himself in cubs and in their PTA until they were old enough for him to take a job as a life guard at a local leisure centre.

If it suits you then enjoy it, those young years are the most precious, and I'm glad I was able to be part of my kids' rather than being a full time working woman. Yes, it's hard work, and the hours are continuous, but the rewards are infinite.
 

Firestorm

Pedant
Joined
Oct 25, 2003
Messages
15,238
Location
Immersed in the accounts
To be honest Dash, whilst the first consideration will always seem to be financial. (whoever earns the most , works or whether its worth getting in Childcare and both working) the bottom line , I feel, will always be a matter of contentment. No point the wife working if she really feels that she needs to be a "proper" mother, likewise there is little point in the bloke staying at home if he feels it immasculates him and he then spends all night down the pub topping up his machismo.
The Family unit is paramount to the kids upbringing.

As an aside , the breadwinner of the 2 taking it really seriously and putting in long hours to give the family the very best doesn't always work either.
regardless of what they would say if put on the spot now, the kids would always prefer to see Dad for and hour or so in the evening than get a Wii now instead of at xmas.
 

Ron Manager

formerly Libertine
Joined
Jan 21, 2007
Messages
5,628
Location
Brisbane, Australia
In our situation we were earning about the same and the missus really wanted to be a full time Mum, so we went with 'normal' social convention and I am at work.

If however she had the means to earn significantly more than me now and in the future I wouldn't hesitate to stay at home at look after the kids - I absolutely love the time I have with them and to stay at home with them during the week would be heaven. Also, think of all the activities you can enrol the kids in and the Yummy Mummies you can meet as a result ;)
 
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